Sometimes feeling sick of all the hours

[safetymedic]

It may seem to you that it's not worth all the time and effort for what comes out of it. What do you mean? Try talking with him and finding out why he does it. Is it for the money? Or does he enjoy helping the people? I'm willing to bet that if you asked him how his day was or ask him about what's going on at work, his eyes would light up and you'd never be able to get him to stop talking about it.

The pay sucks, the hours are long, there is always a call coming out when you're trying to eat. I could list all the common reasons that my wife has listed. But then she decided to find out what goes on. She got involved and found out that this is not a job. It's a calling from somewhere deep inside. Not everyone can do this job and it takes a really special person to succeed.

What is my point in this rant? Ask HIM why he does it. Ask HIM if it's worth it all. More important of all just ask HIM anything at all. His eyes will light up and you'll never get him to stop talking about it.

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Maysville_Medic]

I have had similar problems with my extended family. My wife even has her days. My service is a rural service that is paged by the Sheriff's Office and we respond from home. Last year we had a F-4 tornado that leveled several homes and killed 3 people. Try explaining to your wife and family why you are leaving them in a dark basement, alone, and driving out into that mess. The best way I have found is that EMS is not what I do, its who I am. It becomes part of you in a way that no other job can.

[dancewithme]

I agree. This is not just a job. When I met my husband he was a volunteer EMT-B working with the civil defense in our area. At the time his job was with Xerox Corp. Well, every time we would come upon an accident scene he would stop. As I watched him over the years I realised that this is part of who he is! But because he had the job at Xerox he let his certification go and continued on his career. He became increasingly unhappy. He felt that because we had a family that it was impossible for him to leave the job and go back to school. Last year we sold our home bought a motorhome and just traveled to Florida taking some time to unwind and think about our direction. One night we where on our way home from Kennedy Space center and just outside of Orlando we came upon an accident. It had just happened! We where the first to respond. This women had rolled her car and had head injury. I was on the cell phone with 911, the only problem was, I didn't know exactly where we where and other people wouldn't stop! It took sheriffs about 30 minutes to get to us, with the limited knowledge I had. 2 hours later after life flight picked up this girl and we got back into the car, I said to him "This is what you where meant to do" and he said he felt the same way. So, he went back to school, is now certitfied as a basic. I know this will drastically chage our lives. The income is much less than what he was making before but, he is very happy! That is what its' all about. There's nothing worse than going to a job every day that you hate.

[ptemt]

I agree. This is not just a job. When I met my husband he was a volunteer <a href=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emergency_medical_technician="postlink">EMT</a>-B working with the civil defense in our area. At the time his job was with Xerox Corp. Well, every time we would come upon an accident scene he would stop. As I watched him over the years I realised that this is part of who he is! But because he had the job at Xerox he let his certification go and continued on his career. He became increasingly unhappy. He felt that because we had a family that it was impossible for him to leave the job and go back to school. Last year we sold our home bought a motorhome and just traveled to Florida taking some time to unwind and think about our direction. One night we where on our way home from Kennedy Space center and just outside of Orlando we came upon an accident. It had just happened! We where the first to respond. This women had rolled her car and had head injury. I was on the cell phone with 911, the only problem was, I didn't know exactly where we where and other people wouldn't stop! It took sheriffs about 30 minutes to get to us, with the limited knowledge I had. 2 hours later after life flight picked up this girl and we got back into the car, I said to him "This is what you where meant to do" and he said he felt the same way. So, he went back to school, is now certitfied as a basic. I know this will drastically chage our lives. The income is much less than what he was making before but, he is very happy! That is what its' all about. There's nothing worse than going to a job every day that you hate.

Way cool!

[FIREMEDIC_268]

my wife and i just got into it the other day. it all started when i told her that i had to go in and work a few hours for a fellow FF. she the informed me that i am never home. (a little background-- i work full time for FD, and then part time mon-fri 8-4 for ambulance and go to school two nights a week now.) especially this week coming up, i work on mon-24, tues 8-4, wed-24, thurs 8-4, then class 6-10 fri- 24. i asked her what she wants me to do. i have been in ems and working 24's since before we meet. after quite a bit of fighting i finally said that i would quite and find another job if that is what she wants. i have 6yr on FD and 9yrs at ambulance. i get to pick and choose my runs at ems and get to leave most of the time on time. every now and then i have to stay late. i have tried to convince her that this is the job that i do, i do love it. later that day she did come and apologize and tell me not to quite. sometimes i am not sure what she wants me to do. any help would be good.

[emswife]

I guess I might as well throw in my two cents on this one too. As for what to do for your wife, the best I can recommend is draw a line when it comes to how often you work. Your wife knew about the type of schedule you worked when she married you, this isn't new. Maybe the problem lies in the extra hours (unexpectedly covering for a friend, or o.t.) You two need to come to an agreement as how to broach these subjects. Maybe she thought you two were going to get to do something together when she found out that you made a decision to cover someone, maybe she was irritated that you didn't ask if she may have had plans that your decision affected. Usually my husband tries to contact me first before he does anything like that just to make sure it doesn't create any problems for me. Your wife is your first priority, not doing a favor for a friend. Just give her the consideration of making sure it is alright with her too, as it does affect her as well. Maybe that gesture is enough, it would give her a little more control over this crazy lifestyle. Your wife is your partner, not your follower, treat her how your would want to be treated.