WE NEED HELP!!!!

[emt-b_wa]

Ok so my girlfriend and I have a major delima. I have have been in ems for three years now and we are just getting serrious in our relationship. However there is one problem. She doesn't know if she handle the life style that the job brings with it. She is very supportive of me and thinks that ems is a noble job but doesn't like the life style. She'd like to think that she would be a big enough person to get past the strain ems puts on a relationship, but thinks she may be to high maintence. We have both had lengthy conversations as to what is the best course of action. Wait until things build up to the point where bitter fights ensue and things get ugly, or, walk away now, friends?

I know that this site has thousands of ems workers and family members on it so I look to you for help on what the best course of action is?

[medic001918]

It sounds from the end of your post (where you refer to walking away or waiting) that you already feel that your relationship is doomed. You didn't put a positive part into your statement such as that things could actually work out. While maintaining a relationship and a career in EMS may be difficult, it's not impossible. Depending on what shifts your service offers, it's possible to lead a rather normal lifestyle. If you tend to bring the emotions from work home with you, that's another issue to be addressed seperately.

It's up to both of you if you can commit to the relationship and make it work. While it will be difficult, it is not impossible. Any job, no matter what is, will bring any kind of stress to a relationship. There's no job that comes without stress on a personal life.

Noone but you and your girlfriend can answer if you should continue with your relationship or walk away. Those are decisions that can only be made by yourselves, and should only be made by yourselves.

Shane

NREMT-P

[FUBAR]

I have gone through the same thing bro! I'll tell you a few things that might ease the pressure:

1) Leave the job at the door. Which means don't come home and tell her about that awesome traumatic code you did. She just won't be able to relate.

2)Work friends stay at work or boys night out. You have some of your work buddies over for dinner the conversation will turn to ems talk. Well you might as well speak Latin and she will feel left out.

3)If you work 24h shifts find another job. A place with 10/12/14h shifts can guarantee at least a few hours of quality time.

4) No OT. Your free time is hers. and try to get the same days off if possible.

Now give this a try. It is not really that difficult to do. I'm just wondering too if maybe she is a little young and maybe doesn't understand your job and the dedication that it takes. And remember a relationship is a 2 way street

[emtkelley]

I guess I am old fashioned enough to believe that if you really love someone you take the good with the bad and deal with the rest and that you can get through the rough times as long as you are together. It's all about commitment. My parents were separated during WWll for four years and they made it through somehow. 60 years later and still going strong.

[iadybug423]

I think every relationship is based on friendship, trust, loyalty and commitment. What else would you do other than an EMT? Would you be happy not doing it? I don't think it would be wise to give up something you love and enjoy for someone who is "high maintenence." To me, that is another word for needy and self-centeredness. It can't be all about one person. Compromise is an option. A good solid foundation begins when two people love and accept each other as is.

Any job be it Military, Police Officer or Emt, doctor, lawyer all have their perks, pros & cons. If you love your job it isn't right to give it up for someone else only to resent it later on.

Lots of choices face you, but what decisions you make now will affect you for a lifetime. My Hubby and I have been married 24 years and we were both in the military when we met. Gone 6 months at as time, and I got out after awhile and don't regret it, but it was our decision and he supported me as I did him to stay in and do his 20 years. Even now, things we dreamed, or I dreamed of, or want to do often have to be given up for the sake of US, but US is more important.

If you give up your job/carreer because someone is high maintence-it sounds like trouble. besides no one says you have to rush this relationship, and quit your job.

Still undecided then you need to seriously communicate more until you are both satisified

with what your hopes, dreams and desires are.

Life is what you make it.(For the most part)

[paramedicmike]

I question your use of the word "lifestyle". Just what about having a job in EMS is different from any other job? So your work schedule is a little goofy. So what? Unless, of course, you're a whacker who lives, breathes and eats EMS. In which case, it's not that she's going to get fed up with you. She'll just be fed up your inability to separate different aspects of your life.

You've been with this girl for three years and you're just *now* getting serious? There are larger issues with this relationship than your job if that's the case.

Run, don't walk, away from her.

If she's telling you that she's afraid she'll be high maintenance, she means she is too high maintenance.

I dated a girl for a long time who eventually told me that she was jealous of the attention I paid my patients. She said it attention she should be getting. I walked away. Best damn decision I'd made in a long time.

-be safe

[chaser]

...she may be to high maintenance...walk away now, friends? ?

In all due respect, I would suspect you both are rather young (18-maybe 20?). Many career fields have demands that will interfere with home lives from time to time. If EMS is want you want to pursue, do it. My impression, be friends.

It sounds as if you have red flags flying all around you, and learning to listen to your instincts will serve you well in life.

Just my .02 cents.

[Michael]

[web:ad97fbc3ac]http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0002Y1UTE.01-A3CU9PWKX4XOBY._AA280_SCLZZZZZZZ_.gif[/web:ad97fbc3ac]

[DwayneEMTP]

I question your use of the word "lifestyle". Just what about having a job in EMS is different from any other job? So your work schedule is a little goofy. So what? Unless, of course, you're a whacker who lives, breathes and eats EMS. In which case, it's not that she's going to get fed up with you. She'll just be fed up your inability to separate different aspects of your life.

You've been with this girl for three years and you're just *now* getting serious? There are larger issues with this relationship than your job if that's the case.

Run, don't walk, away from her.

If she's telling you that she's afraid she'll be high maintenance, she means she is too high maintenance.

I dated a girl for a long time who eventually told me that she was jealous of the attention I paid my patients. She said it attention she should be getting. I walked away. Best damn decision I'd made in a long time.

-be safe

=D>

Great post...If you can live without her...you should.

[akflightmedic]

Get rid of her and find a girl in the business....

Chicks in EMS or fire uniforms turn me on...whoo hoooo!!!

Edit: After rereading this I psychoanalyzed myself and came to the realization that I like women in power and authoritative positions as I secretly like to be dominated and punished for being the bad boy I am.