The Best Chief Complaint

[millerjjr]

I am still a FNG out here, only been running calls since early April, but it's to imagine very much topping this. My partner and I walk into an apt and I asked the lady why she called for an ambulance and her response was "my teeth are chattering", thinking I didn't here this right I ask again, "why did you call us here?" he said the same thing my teeth are chattering and they won't quit. She wanted to be transported to the hospital, so when we get there I open the doors and she is sound asleep and oh by the way that must've cured her chattering teeth.

[medicnine]

:oops: Tapped out code three for a 90 y/o female cc numb feet. Turns out her water pipes had burst earlier in the day and soaked her entire carpeted house. With nightfall the water in the carpet began to freeze and the womans feet went numb from walking around.

[Scaramedic]

Two calls come to mind, one was a patient who called because he had a cramp in his hand. The other was a lady who called for hemorrhoids. She stated she was driving home and her hemorrhoids started acting up, so she drove home and called 911. Yes, she DROVE HOME instead of just driving herself to the hospital which she had to pass to get home. :roll:

Peace,

Marty

[weasel 108]

Had a call to " assist" a women at her residence. turned out she needed us to prop her head up so she could take a nap.

Had another call different patient ,where she wanted us to help wipe her #$$ after she did #2 on the potty,and then several shifts later dispatched to same residence for patient assist. She needed us to tuck her into bed.

[whit72]

Here are a couple of the top of my head:

I am having a cardiac arrest. More then once.

I have had a severe headache for 2 days all of a sudden it went a way. I am hoping nothing is wrong.

I haven't seen my(fill in your favorite furry animal here) could you please find him.

I was wondering if you could give me directions to the hospital.

My friend closed his hand in a car door, do you think he needs to go to the hospital. Where is he we will take a look at it. Ohhh he is not here he is at his house.

That's all I can remember at this point. God I love the city.

[Arachne]

"They won't deliver a pizza to my house and I want pizza."

- elderly lady at 10 am (the toned "nature of response" was psychiatric....she was not a psychiatric patient, she was a cranky old lady who thought that 911 would send police to enforce pizza delivery)

[TechMedic05]

"I shot myself in the head."

-'You realize there's no wounds, right?'

"Yup, I shot myself in the head."

-'There's also no blood'

"I shot myself in the head."

And similar note:

Signing off a male patient with no right arm who crashed his 5 speed manual transmission Ford Festiva into some rocks.

That was mildly impressive.

[PRPGfirerescuetech]

Had another call different patient ,where she wanted us to help wipe her #$$ after she did #2 on the potty,and then several shifts later dispatched to same residence for patient assist. She needed us to tuck her into bed.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I think that was you and I at the nursing home on state road when that went up....loooooool

My worst was old man Sinsowetz, who called us to turn on his air conditioner, he didnt feel like getting up....

[Arachne]

One more:

"My wife is in labor at XYZ hospital and I need a ride"

Upon further inquiry, it was discovered that the wife woke up in labor several hours prior, drove herself to the hospital, and the husband decided he should be there around 5 am, then called 911. When informed that we do not transport for non-medical reasons, he decided he had "anxiety", then stated in route that "well, I have medicaid so you're paying for this anyways". (He also signed the authorization for transport that states that if his claim is rejected, he is responsible, as well as two places where it states that he understands that medicare/medicaid may not pay. Last I heard it was going to court because the company is seeking payment because ::astonishment:: medicaid rejected it.)

[PRPGfirerescuetech]

Yes. Dispatched to the cardiac arrest, and arrived to find the patient on the phone still talking to dispatch....

"Dispatcher XYZ, this is PRPG. Guess what, the arrest you dispatched us is null and void when the patient is telling you about it. Your dumb."