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I'm a nurse, I'm a nurse, I'm here to help


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This was posted on a fellow paramedic/friends facebook page- I know this is sort of rude but hey, it's terribly funny.

So a little funny that I witnessed yesterday. While standing at the nascar track amongst all the other people avoiding the rain, this drunk or should I say this individual that was under the influence of some type if intoxicant of which 4 cans of it was in 4 beverage holders screwed to a #3 baseball helmet that was painted by krylon. So he is trying to swoon these ladies as he is doing this hillbilly Olympics on the stairwell. Well the obvious happens and he eats it, and eats it hard. So his hillbilly friends that was once encouraging all panicked and was screaming for EMS or a doctor. So it appeared he kinda knocked himself out, but wasn't really out just kinda dazed. So the vendor gets on the radio and summons the EMS and Police lol. So as I'm watching this all unfold I hear this lady yelling, "I'm a nurse,,,,,I'm a nurse let me through I'm a nurse" So I step aside and let her come rumbling through. She sits her beer down on the step and starts snapping her fingers in front of his face yelling "sir,,,,sir,,,, come out,,,come out,," Mind you his right ankle is either broke or dislocated, and I'm going with both. It literally took 20 min before EMS arrived just because of the people inside. So a FHP show up with in minutes and was standing beside me and I said well apparently she's a nurse and is helping, and we both chuckled, he said well what's she doing trying to encourage him to come out of the closet to all the on lookers. I literally laughed out load. So finally the rescue team arrives and the crew goes down and she's holding his head with a wet paper towel on his forehead and here is the funniest part. She advised the medic that she is a Nurse and is here for them. You can tell the look of "oh great"on his face. So he says what kinda nurse are you, with a sarcastic down grading tone said, "I sir, Am a Certified Nurses Aid" and with out missing a beat he says," Well unless he needs his diaper changed or and bath you are not needed here." The trooper and I about died laughing.

Edited by Ruffmeister Paramedic
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LOL, as a big NASCAR fan who has attended a race, I can just visualize the ethanol induced redneck hilarity that ensued. What is it with these kinds of people? There are some awesome CNAs out there (I know because I work with them). But then there are these freak shows. The only ones worse than them are medical assistants. These MAs truly think they are doctors. I had one bring in her 1y/o with a 103 fever once. She was the kids vitals and freaked out. His heart rate was 170. She said something like, "Oh my god!! That is dangerous. I'm an MA and I know all about vitals. His heart rate is too dangerous. You need to do something right now so he doesn't have a heart attack."

"Yes ma'am, we will get him some tylenol and some motrin. A heart rate like this isn't unexpected with a fever in a kid this age...blah blah blah."

"Well, can't you give him some labetalol or something?"

:wtf2::wtf2: :wtf2:

This story made me think of a joke/warning I was given early on in my EMT class: A brand new EMT is driving down the road one day and sees a car accident. It looks pretty bad and he is ready to try out his new skills. He grabs his 50 pound jump bag out of the back of his car and runs to the scene. He sees one person on the ground who looks to be in bad shape. There is another person standing over the injured person just looking down. The EMT runs over and pushed the other person out of the way, saying, "Out of the way please. I'm an EMT and I'm going to help this man." The guy he pushes giggles a little, leans down to the EMT and says, "When you want to know where the doctor is who pronounced this guy, I'll be standing over there."

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Could have been worse, could have been at Billy Bob's place out on County Road 309 down past the Glumpkin residence. That would have meant at least 3 volunteer "First Responders" showed up in their cars/pickup trucks each with 100 lb jump bags, the local volunteer Fire Department would have also come plus an ambulance or two, and because "it looked real bad" somebody would have responded a helicopter ... and all of this is not including the bevy of neighbours who would have come to help out, one of whom would have been a nursing aid and wanted to do an immediate cricothyrotomy.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go ensure that County Road 309 has been closed, I hear the helicopter getting close and they are always so fussy about having a suitable area to land.

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I worked 20 years at a large motorsports venue that hosted all sorts of racing event. AMA, SCCA , Indycar, and of course the twice a year redneck rodeo known as NASCAR.

The things we saw and had to deal with were nothing short of ridiculous.

The bikers couldn't hold a candle to the nascar fans & their budweiser fueled stupidity.

We averaged 600-1000 pt's over the course of the week from the grandstands and camping areas and a dozen or so from drivers & crew.

We decided that adding chlorine to the gene pool was our only hope for salvation.

That & running a spay/ neuter clinic .

We used to run a high BAC contest: the crew that brought the highest level of living drunk to the hospital won the pot.

anything under 500 wasn't even in the top twenty five :rolleyes2::turned:

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I am an RN and I hide in situations like these... Unless there is truly no one else or they are super critical then I just do first aid stuff.

I think most of us seasoned folks would follow suit. Its the ones looking for pats on the back or high fives that would dive in and announce to the world their level of certification.

Yes if its critical I will jump in, and I have, but unless it is time sensitive (choking, arrest, arterial bleed,ect) its basic first aid or just a phone call. One exception I do make only because of the roads I travel is MVAs. If its more then a fender bender I usually stop and at least ask if everyone is OK.

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