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Alcomedicism

You might be working for Rural EMS If......

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The private service I worked for was county wide. So we had the best of both worlds. City, rural, marine, whatever. We were ready for it all.

The volunteer serv. I started with was all rural. Later on my father became the coordinator of that service. So even on my days off I got even more rural experience. But I found out that city or rural, you can get cross-experience.

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Your mobile phone in your ambulance is a rotary dial.

You take your date out on megacodes.

There are tobacco juice stains down one or both sides of the ambulance.

Your ambulance siren is a surplus WWII air raid siren.

Your ambulance is a 4x4 (Four Wheel Drive), and you enter it in "mud hops."

Your ambulance radio is a CB.

Your ALS spare kit consists of bandaids.

You have on board a #00 catheter.

Your bedpan is made of metal, and you got it from government surplus.

Your ambulance is from government surplus.

You have a tow winch on the front of your ambulance and you got it from (you guessed it) government surplus.

Your ambulance has a designated driver when you're at the "Dew Drop Inn Bar and Grill" (After a run of course!).

You don't have a problem taking a short cut to the scene via an old logging road or power line road.

You carry a deer rifle during deer season, just in case you see the "big one."

You brake for wildlife crossing the road

(Bears can seriously damage your front end!).

Your triage scissors don't have blunt tips.

You use 2" X 1" wood boards for long boards for I.V.s.

Your drug kit carries a six pack.

You never have to worry about taking pregnant patients to the hospital.

(I ain't ridin'in that thing!!).

You get your O2 from Boss Hawg & Sons Welding Shop.

Uncle Boss Hawg makes your antifreeze from the leftovers from his "still."

You made your stretcher from Boss Hawg & Sons Welding Shop scrap (and it is rated to 1/2 ton! Great for transporting Big George!).

Boss Hawg & Sons Junkyard has all the parts to keep your ambulance running.

You made your backboard from scrap from Boss Hawg & Sons Lumber Mill

(They're into everything aren't they?).

Your tie-down straps for your backboard are whatever you can get your hands on.

Most of your EMT's are related one way or another.

You don't transport "out-of-staters" or anyone who is from above the Mason-Dixon Line.

The Amish get their buggies off the road when you are coming!

Doing 60 - 80 mph at night, in the rain, on a small country road doesn't bother you.

Just the fact of the ambulance arriving on scene breaks up bar fights

(EMT Jethro uses railroad ties to work out).

The local police ask you if the scene is safe.

You carry explosives on board for those "special occasions."

The ATF, FBI or CIA never come to your county.

You rely on the "Handyman's Secret Weapon" to fix almost everything - Duct Tape.

You clean out the back of your ambulance by parking it on a hill and flushing out the back.

You still don't have 911, let alone Enhanced 911.

Your county Address Locator book was a school project from Ms. Wills' 6th grade class.

Locations to a person needing EMS service might be, "The second house from the boulder were Jethro wrecked his truck."

Local news stations will not cover you, because the "The last time we were here you guys...."

Everytime you are in the vicinity of "Hootin Holler" in the middle of the night, you hit the siren to get everyone's dogs barking and howling.

You give some of your patients complimentary "Odor Eaters" for their shoes.

When you went to vacuum out the cab of your ambulance, the vacuum jammed up.

-Dixie

Oh waw what a great post. I just love this. Another one I will add is

- you have a trauma backpack for trauma calls out in the bush.

Loved this one-> "You don't have a problem taking a short cut to the scene via an old logging road or power line road."

Last time we did that we got stuck in a muddy trench. Almost had to have the neighbor pull us out with his tractor.

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[/font:f8a5ff60fc] Those are some good ones, and I remembered one after reading those:

you might work for rural EMS if: a dispatcher calls you up on your personal Cell and say's, "Saddle-up good buddy, there's one coming your way." just prior to sending out the tone.

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I work in a real rural setting... the town has a pop. of about 980 people and add to that another 400 in the village and thats the area. HOWEVER we offer and get mutual aid from the surround villages and towns. It is sweet to be able to call for aid in a serious accident on the interstate, and you have them begging to respond.

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