DwayneEMTP Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Thanks Mike... I've clicked that before but couldn't tell what it did.. And I can't tell you how much I love Mikey's advice to do what you love and then let the cards fall as they may... And test driving a ton of relationships isn't bad advice either in my opinion... Believe that every new lust is temporary... Plan to keep it simple...Plan to walk away... When the right one comes along you won't be able to imagine leaving... So often it breaks my heart to see young people suffering along trying to fix their broken relationships when they only stay because it's to scary to get out.. Trade short term pain for long term passion every day of the week... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard B the EMT Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Side note: If you are young, don't worry so much about finding the "one", until you have dated "many". What you thought was love at 14 was different at age 18, 20, 25, and will be different at age 30, 40, 50. So don't base a lifetime decision on thoughts you have at age 18. Nothing is cast in stone. I'm sure that some couples met as pre-teens, and had long lasting marriages once they got to their 20s, or even as early as 19 years old.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scubanurse Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 I have really good friends who started dating in High School and are now married and one of the happiest couples I know. Age is really just a number and one person's maturity level will vary greatly from another at the same age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
island emt Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 My wife & I went to different high schools together :-}. We met as member of the Up With People cast, and became close friends , have shared many of the same interests over the years and got married when I was 20 & she 19. We both do EMS and she is also an RN along with other similar activities we share, including raising and training Labrador Retrievers. We are still best friends and this november will mark our 39th anniversary . It takes work and sharing to remain friends and keep the marriage happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DwayneEMTP Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 Yeah, we all have stories like that, about first loves that last 40 years, but I'll bet that we're all also much more familiar with the kids that suffer through their relationships because they made a poor choice, (And I don't believe that any pairing can be successful if they will just try hard enough), or had a relationship that failed all together. I see very few truly passionate and happy relationships...So I'm with Mikey..if love smacks you in the face then by all means, gobble it up...but if you find that you're working on your relationship more than your chasing each other around naked...it's broken...keep looking until the spark grabs you and won't let go... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard B the EMT Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 Lady J and I attended Jr High School at the same time (primary school, too, from the 3rd grade) but had no classes together except Chorus. She was just a face with a name attached, across the lunchroom, as I was dating someone else at the time. It would be almost 20 years before I'd meet her again, in the VAC. I'll tell that story again, but only on request here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uglyEMT Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 (edited) I would like to through a nugget or two out there for you. It may not be true for everyone but hope it helps. First dating someone inside EMS sometimes makes it easier for them to understand what we go through (bad shift hours or days, the stuff we see and do, ect ect) but I think it may come with a price. That price is you never get away from it. They will tell you there stories and you tell yours so even in downtime getting "away from it all" might not happen and that can lead to burn out. If you have someone outside EMS you have that chance to shut it off and not think about it. I know with my wife (non EMS) when Her and I go out or stay home our conversations never turn to what I do (other than hope your day was OK, glad you're home safe). It gives me a chance to decompress and in some ways keeps me sane. Like I said not for everyone but it worked for me. Nugget two: Don't shit where you eat!! If it goes to hell then its so very ackward for everyone not just you two. Everyone becomes part of the train wreck and it will strain and sometimes sever friendships or workships. Also some places outright don't allow it. Edited July 8, 2013 by uglyEMT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rock_shoes Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 I would like to through a nugget or two out there for you. It may not be true for everyone but hope it helps. First dating someone inside EMS sometimes makes it easier for them to understand what we go through (bad shift hours or days, the stuff we see and do, ect ect) but I think it may come with a price. That price is you never get away from it. They will tell you there stories and you tell yours so even in downtime getting "away from it all" might not happen and that can lead to burn out. If you have someone outside EMS you have that chance to shut it off and not think about it. I know with my wife (non EMS) when Her and I go out or stay home our conversations never turn to what I do (other than hope your day was OK, glad you're home safe). It gives me a chance to decompress and in some ways keeps me sane. Like I said not for everyone but it worked for me. Nugget two: Don't shit where you eat!! If it goes to hell then its so very ackward for everyone not just you two. Everyone becomes part of the train wreck and it will strain and sometimes sever friendships or workships. Also some places outright don't allow it. Both fair points. My current long term girlfriend is also in EMS. I can honestly say the benefits outweigh the negatives for me. Having a knowing sounding board is invaluable for both of us. At times EMS does try to take over, but that's where the rule comes into play (either one of us can institute it at any time). Every so often we invoke the "NO EMS RULE" where neither one of us is to talk about EMS for that entire day. It forces us to back away and focus on other more important things between the two of us. As for your second point, it's impossible for us to work for different services. There is one public EMS provider in the entire province of BC. That being the case it is however possible for us to work for the same service and never see each other again should things ever go awry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard B the EMT Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 As my previous girlfriend lived in NJ, and was only seen at the VAC every couple of months for one or another event, perhaps they were jealous I had a girlfriend they could see almost every day? Lady J left the VAC about 2 years after we started dating, due to a small but vocal group constantly putting her down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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