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Lets get this party started! Post something here so we know you're alive!


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In court... "Mr Jones, you state you didn't claim injuries to the Sheriff's Deputy at the time of the accident, yet now, 3 months later, you're claiming a broken leg and other minor injuries from

Another one bites the dust. Just as good to keep the CPR beat up with.

HAHAHA This made me laugh

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I'm not sure but is chat even a relevant thing here at the city. when it's been accessible it's been poorly attended and I think I can count on one hand in the past year that I've even seen anyone in the chat room when it was working.

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It used to be a big thing. Not sure if it is simply a change in the dynamics of social media or what. Certainly over the past few years it has not been as popular as in years past.

I agree - I think that with facebook and the advent of texting, a chat room doesn't really seem all that enticing.

I remember back in the day here when we would have the entire room full of people and moderators were needed in order to keep the ruckus down but now, I couldn't envision more than 2 or three at a time.

Even when someone has come on here and suggested a time for people to come into chat, it has been poorly attended at best.

Can chat be made more relevent than jsut the "oh I'm so emo" or the belittling that we used to have here(often requiring the ban stick), I think it can be but there needs to be more interest.

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I think the issue with the chat room is just the general downturn in membership. Less members means less people to go to chat. I tried it a few times and luckily managed to avoid the drama but when I went in there I didn't know anyone. It seemed like the people that posted didn't go in chat and the people in chat didn't post. Ruff, maybe if you threw on some pasties and danced for us it would get more people to come out.

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I think the issue with the chat room is just the general downturn in membership. Less members means less people to go to chat. I tried it a few times and luckily managed to avoid the drama but when I went in there I didn't know anyone. It seemed like the people that posted didn't go in chat and the people in chat didn't post. Ruff, maybe if you threw on some pasties and danced for us it would get more people to come out.

Dude, in 97% of all countries that would get me arrested and the website shut down. YOU definately do NOT want to see this fat guy in pasties.

I seem to remember you talked a lot about the Priscilla's or some shop in Grand Rapids where you spent a large amount of time, maybe you should model that stuff you bought. That might just up our membership by 800% and make the chat room visited again.

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don't mess with old guys

An older man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back.

It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange, and lime trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.

He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him,'we're not coming out until you leave!'

The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked..'

Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator.'


Some old guys can still think fast.
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Mature Lady Driver

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Traffic Cop: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don't have one.

Traffic Cop: Don't have one?

Older Woman: No. I lost it 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Traffic Cop: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Traffic Cop: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Traffic Cop: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Traffic Cop : You what!?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The traffic cop looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car while calling for back up. Within minutes

5 police cars circle the car.

A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: My colleague here tells me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Are you serious?!

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The traffic cop is quite stunned.

Officer 2: My colleague claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license quizzically.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, but I am puzzled, as I was told by my officer here that you didn’t have a license,

that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner!

Older Woman: Bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.

Don't Mess With Mature Ladies

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The chat in one of the "other" EMT sites is pretty active. I've actually made a few friends that way. This thread is a form of chat, but just not as immediate. For the record, and not that it's all that enticing, I would use it.

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I bought a talking parrot.

The pet shop sales associate warned me the bird cursed a lot, but I said I believed I could break him of the habit.

When I got the bird home, he started cursing, using language that would come from the US Navy locker room when losing to US Army, and could probably even make a US Marine Corps Drill Sargent blush!

I kept telling him to be nice, stop saying those things, but he kept cursing. Finally, when he accused my girlfriend of being a prostitute, and calling her the "C" word, my girlfriend grabbed him by the neck, and threw him into the refrigerator!

He was in there for about 5 minutes, when I opened the refrigerator door.

"Sir? Ma'am", the bird said, "I most deeply apologize for my language, and formally guarantee I'll never curse again. I've learned my lesson."

We accepted his apology.

"I do have a question, if I may?" the bird continued.

"What did that poor turkey in the refrigerator do to deserve what happened to him?"

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