Jump to content

Lets get this party started! Post something here so we know you're alive!


spenac

Recommended Posts

Fire dept. cites safety, revenue in condom machine installation The department is calling the move a firefighter safety initiative in light of rampant on-duty sex in its firehouses

Today At 6:01 AM

HORNAYTOWN, Tenn. — Hump day at the fire department has taken on new meaning.

The fire department this week installed condom vending machines in all of its fire stations, billing the move as practical response to an ongoing problem.

Exasperated by his failed attempts to stop firefighters from having sex while on duty, Chief Andy Kavedin is touting the vending machines as both a way to protect firefighters from disease and boost the fire department's ailing budget.

FR1_AF_2015_vendingMachine-1.pngUnion officials plan to raise objections to this change as it infringes on firefighter freedom of choice as a means to boost condom sales.

"If you watch the footage from the fire station surveillance cameras, and you can on most Internet pornographic sites, you'll see these folks are going at it nonstop," Chief Kavedin said. "They are doing it all day, all night, in every conceivable combination and location."

Chief Kavedin said he, conservatively, expects condom sales to add an additional $30,000 per year to the department's budget. "That's our turnout gear replacement line item right there," he said.

Union officials are pressing city hall to boost each shift's food per diem by $3 per shift to cover the cost of condoms. Fire station condoms are $1 each.

"We believe Chief Kavedin is accurate in portraying this as a firefighter safety issue," the union said in a formal statement. "We wouldn't expect firefighters to use their own money to buy other personal protective equipment like helmets or boots, so how is it right they should have to buy their own condoms? The city should not be padding its coffers on the backs of firefighters —

especially when those firefighters are on their backs."

The city fire commission will consider that proposal at its next meeting along with the department's revised standard operating procedures. The new SOPs layout disciplinary steps for firefighters caught having sex without approved condoms.

Union officials plan to raise objections to this change as it infringes on firefighter freedom of choice as a means to boost condom sales. The union said it was not going to idly stand by as the firefighters got screwed.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What do you expect after 250 pages and 18thousand views.

What do you expect after 250 pages and 18thousand views

What do you expect after 250 pages and 18thousand views

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No. Seriously. Two hundred and thirty two pages. Read them. All of them. Before you post again in this thread.

All of them.

232 pages.

Get to it.

We'll wait. It's ok. We've got time.

But not too much time. So. You know.

Don't dawdle.

Just kidding. :D

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

OLE part three :::

Ole the Norwegian Wrestler!!


A Russian and Ole the Norwegian wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic Gold Medal. Before the final match, the Norwegian wrestling coach came to Ole and said, "Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he has". Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If he does, you're finished'. Ole nodded in acknowledgment.
As the match started, Ole and the Russian circled each other several times, looking for an opening. All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward, grabbing Ole and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold. A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the coach buried his face in his hands, for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the inevitable happen.

Suddenly, there was a scream, then a cheer from the crowd and the coach raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up in the air. His back hit the mat with a thud and Ole collapsed on top of him making the pin and winning the match.
The crowd went crazy. The coach was astounded. When he finally got his wrestler alone, he asked, "How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!"

Ole answered, "Vell, I vas ready to give up ven he got me in dat hold, but at da last moment, I opened my eyes and saw dis pair of testicles right in front of my face... I had nuttin' to lose so wid my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit dose babies just as hard as I could."

So the trainer exclaimed, "That's what finished him off!"
"Vel not really. You'd be amazed how strong you get ven you bite your own nuts!"
Link to comment
Share on other sites

No. Seriously. Two hundred and thirty two pages. Read them. All of them. Before you post again in this thread.

All of them.

232 pages.

Get to it

Ok I'm done....only problem is, I'm old and forgetfull so I still don't remeber what was on page 2. :confused::D

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...