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spenac

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Attention non-treating locum House Surgeon who has not even laid eyes upon my patient

A patient who fell 5 days ago, had a single seizure, has no acute intracranial pathology on CT and has just had an MRI scan also reveal same, who is physiologically stable and has no had no more seizures, who is under the care of a Consultant Neurosurgeon and who has no other complaints is not "too unstable" for a two hour trip to a neurological centre of excellence with a Doctor medevac.

Thank's for fucking up 11 hours of my work, has it never occurred to you to pick up the damn phone and talk to the Consultant Neurosurgeon who is looking after him?

Damn it Emergentologist, you are lucky I still got the love for you man, Doctors are not in my good books for tonight thats for damn sure!

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Surgeon? I could prolly use one of those. I'm the type of person that hym's and ha's everything to death, uses WebMD's symptom checker 37 times, clicking on different stuff, while pushing on whatever hurts to determine if I think it's going to be immediately fatal if I self diagnose. I'm not concerned about run on sentences, spelling, grammar, word usage, et al.. So, if that's a problem, first, suck it; second, %#@! off. Third, while you're %#@!ing off, grab me a Mtn Dew, I'm too lazy to get it myself.

So I took some alka seltzer earlier, that stuff tastes like shit, I don't care who you are. Plop plop fizz puke. WTF. Orange? Orange What? Orange flavored baking soda in seltzer maybe. It's been a REALLY FUCKING BAD DAY.. week.. so far. I was supposed to go get scoped.. yanno... SCOPED. On thursday, as I seem to be leaking. Yanno, human oil, from places you shouldn't leak it from. yeah, not gonna happen. So I was having chest pain earlier. Prolly stress like tension, yanno.. So I sat there for three hours and debated on driving myself to the ER, then another two hours wondering if I should call someone. While sitting in the station, surrounded by other providers. Finally I did an EKG on myself, but not really. Well, the print out says "Not for diagnostic purposes". You hook an AED up to yourself, sit still for two minutes, maybe thirty seconds. Let it get to the point where it tells you to start CPR, but obviously you don't... then sit there... then shut that shit off, and hook it up to your favorite AED download program. We'll call it DT Express. and print out a case summary, hold the papers together, for anyone else that only knows three rhythms.. Flat, normal and "i think we can shock that". So they both look almost the same, sans a random really long "R" and really low "S" every couple minutes. Ok, so I may have sat there for six to ten minutes, while silently giving myself oxygen b/c I was more or less freaking out.

So then I pulled a Ben and popped a 10mg Diazepam and the world slowed down..

I bet we can get this page to 100 by 1/1/14.

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