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A question for Paramedics with kids-


KangaRoo

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Thanks for the clarification- I asked about kids because I would like to have kids, so it will be relavent if I go into this field. I was looking for insights from parents, so I got exactly what I asked for. I was trying to avoid the whole "read my boring autobiography then tell me what to do with my life" situation in my original post- thats why I just asked about working and raising children instead of going into my current personal situation. I assumed that anyone who replied would do so because they felt like sharing. I appreciate the responses and I don't feel like I forced anyone to put forth a ton of effort for no reason, though I'm sorry of that was really the case. Can I try this again?

I am married and in my 20's, no kids but I want to have one or two in the future. My husband does shift work as well, but I do have family in the area who could help out with child care from time to time. I did the EMT-B course in high school and loved it, but I ran off and joined the Army instead of working in the field. Now that I'm back at home and settling down, I'm seriously considering going back to school, getting into EMS and becoming a Paramedic if it turns out I enjoy the work and have the aptitiude. I know there are a million other considerations before picking a career and I have been doing a ton of research, but every Firefighter and EMT I know is super young or a lifelong bachelor. What I would like to hear is the experiences of full time EMTs and Paramedics who have kids, especially if your spouse works as well. Is it doable? Do you have to depend on family members for child care all the time? What type of agency do you work for? Do you feel that your career is simply too demanding of your time to care for a child as well?

I figured a long and not very exciting wall of text would not get me off on the right foot here, but I guess my original question was insufficient. I dind't mean to come back and complain that people couldn't read my mind and know my exact situation, it just seemed like some of the replies were geared toward someone who was trying to start in the field while already a single parent. It is really amazing and encouraging that people out there have managed to do so, though.

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Kanga, you really can do this with kids or without. There was recently a thread that had some of us saying that if you put your mind to it you can do whatever you want and I am of that mindset.

Unfortunately, if you don't have a support system, and sorry to say, but some of us on this forum do not, but a great many of us do, this job can be difficult at best for them.

You need a strong base to work this job, you need a husband (or wife) that understands that you may have to miss those all important dates and milestones in a relationship that are so important to keeping a family or couple together. Birthdays, anniversaries, christmas or whatever other religious holidays you observe.

The other person in your relationship has to understand that you will be married to your job but that is NOT what has to happen. I was that person, I was married to the job and ate up the overtime like a cop ate up donuts. I made nearly 55K my first year as a medic simply because I took every shift that came available with the mindset that I was young and I wanted to prove myself to the old timers that I was part of the team. I worked every holiday and every shift that someone needed off.

I learned after 3 years of doing that and getting very very sick after letting myself get run down and exhausted that the only one I was hurting was myself. I stopped torturing myself and I felt better and realized that the city I worked for would not DIE and there would be sick people for me to take care of on every shift that I worked and that there were sick people on my off days. The sick people never stopped getting sick or hurt. Car wrecks and trauma patients never stop and I finally realized that the big incident would and did indeed come to me but I only had to wait. I didn't need to work every day to get that one big incident. It was going to happen.

So to make a long story short, go for it. take the plunge, you may love it, you may hate it. BUt I get the feeling that you will kick yourself for not trying at least.

Feel free to pm me. I'd love to hear what your decision is.

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Thanks! I'm going to start the class to get my EMT-B license reactivated in January, then try to start volunteering to see if I'm really cut out for it. Thanks to the GI Bill, I should be able to go ahead and get an AAS if it is what I really want to do, though getting a full time job in EMS sounds like quite the challenge...

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It's entirely possible to do. First of all, not all paramedics do 24 hour shifts. I myself do 12 hour shifts. 24 hour shifts means you'll be away from your family for two to three days. Compare that with the five days a week people are usually away and you see its not that bad. My wife doesn't have a problem with it, then again, my wife has a super-human ability to put up with the amount of shit that I inadvertently track into her life.

So long as you don't become an asshole and believe its okay to bang person X because of the "stresses" of your job, you can make a family life work just fine. But once you start believing that because what you do gives you license to act like an asshole, i.e. drink, fool around, basically act like a total douchebag, then you will lose the people you love or at least once love. I know many firefighters like that. But I know even more of their ex-s.

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I thought that the original post was near perfect. What would have changed Mike if she'd said she was looking for information for the future? You'd have told her to come back in 10 years? Why does it piss you off that she's taking the time to research and prepare for a part of EMS that gives so many trouble instead of waiting until she's in the ditch to do so? She had a question, she asked it, the fact that she's not in that situation 'now' changes nothing about the information that she's looking for. Sorry your having a bad day, but sniping our new members probably isn't going to make it better.

Great question girl.

If you're thinking of medic instead of basic only, the advice on how difficult school is is worth it's weight in gold. If you're going to become a medic then go to school before kids, and make sure that you have support when you do...

As far as the shift work, that will depend a lot on your husband. My wife is a doll..she molds to anything and we just adjust ourselves to it, but she's a full time homemaker. ..School, clinicals, work, family...without a pretty solid support system it can be to much for most of us..the job? It's just a job like any other pretty much...you'll have to make allowances, but everyone does, there's really nothing special about EMS that makes that more difficult in my opinion..

Can I ask, why EMS instead of one of the health fields that actually pays the bills and has more normal schedules?

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Kinda late but I was a single dad of 2 and 5 year old boys when their mom left us in 2000. Working 24 hour on call and often away from home. There's a lot of guilt associated with missing important dates like Christmas and Birthdays. My situation may be unique though. I live in a very small town, my mom lives a mile away...my neighbours are little old ladies who loved mu kids, so I had a great support system in place to watch my kids if I got a call. Until my new wife moved in with us in 2006 my kids were often left at home for a few minutes until grandma showed up or a neighbour came over to watch them. I couldn't ask for better kids who understood how badly their dad wants to spend every moment with them, but sometimes others just needed him too. My oldest will be graduating high school in 2013 and plans to take paramedic training so he can work his way through medical school.

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I believe we already mended the fence dwayne. So answering the question would be a exercise in futility.

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Dwayne-

I have just always been drawn to EMS. I like the idea of being one of the first people on the scene of an incident to help keep people alive. I'm sure it's one of the most stressful and emotionally draining healthcare jobs out there, but I tend to thrive under stress- the year I spent in Afghanistan was my favorite time in the Army. I've batted around the idea of nursing as well, but getting to head to different locations and situations is really appealing. My main worries (other than the family thing) is making a living wage. I would totally be up for working as a medic/firefighter as almost all the agencies in my area require, it's the getting hired thing that could be an issue. I know I need to take it slow and spend some time volunteering before I go jump into a whole new career, but I'm really excited about the prospect of going back to school.

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Kinda late but I was a single dad of 2 and 5 year old boys when their mom left us in 2000. Working 24 hour on call and often away from home. There's a lot of guilt associated with missing important dates like Christmas and Birthdays. My situation may be unique though. I live in a very small town, my mom lives a mile away...my neighbours are little old ladies who loved mu kids, so I had a great support system in place to watch my kids if I got a call. Until my new wife moved in with us in 2006 my kids were often left at home for a few minutes until grandma showed up or a neighbour came over to watch them. I couldn't ask for better kids who understood how badly their dad wants to spend every moment with them, but sometimes others just needed him too. My oldest will be graduating high school in 2013 and plans to take paramedic training so he can work his way through medical school.

Sounds like you did great Arctickat, especially in passing on the EMS tradition - or more accurately developing an ems tradition.

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  • 1 month later...

Schooling will be the hardest part of it. You are gone for most of the day and you come home already tired and you have a child or children to take care of. With me I had to hire a child sitter on the weekends, my child went to daycare during the weekdays when I was in classes.

Work varies.. If you have a spouse they can hopefully take care of your children some part of the 24hr shift. Luckily my mother lives thirty minutes away from me and she loves when her granddaughter gets to spend the night. My sister and her husband will also let my daughter spend the night at their house because they have a daughter and son that are around the same age and the kids like spending the night together. The pastor of my church is sweet enough to also let her spend the night at their house. In advantage he watched me grow up till the time I went off to college then I came back we got to talking a lot, so he's more of a very close friend.

That's all I really have to rely on. If your spouse can watch the children over the night then take them to a daycare during the day that could work. If you have really close friends and family members they may be able to watch your children. Sometimes there is 24hr care centers for children. I have one by me I checked out and I wouldn't say they were too up to scale. Which you really want to check out when looking for care centers.

Best of luck with school and possibly your future career! :)

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