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It happened at the gym today...


Kaisu

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I went to the gym for my bi-weekly torture session. When I got there, the trainers were deep in worried discussion about an 81 year old gentleman, also a frequenter of the gym. I had seen him there several times and had exchanged nods. The fellow had been wearing a bandage on his earlobe for about a month.

My trainer said "We have been so worried about him. He refuses to go to the doctor. Would you please look at his ear?"

We went over to the man. Initially confused, then embarrassed, he allowed me to look at his earlobe.

I saw a nodular melanoma and my heart stopped. It was almost 2 inches in diameter, luridly colored with black, red, blue and yellow. I was quite blunt with the man. I told him I wasn't a doctor, but that it was serious. He needed to go in today.

Later, he came over to us to chitchat and told me I had frightened him. I told him good - he needed to be scared. The man nodded to me, promised to see a physician tomorrow and offered me lemons from his tree.

I feel like crap. I don't imagine the man's prognosis is very good. He left it too long. I really gotta learn to mind my own business.

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That's rough.

You have to think, though, he probably had an idea but was in denial. He knew enough to cover it up. The thought that it was cancer had to have crossed his mind.

You never know, though. Stranger things have happened. Maybe it was enough that you scared him into going. It might work out to give him some extra time or at least give time to make him comfortable.

You didn't give him cancer. Don't feel bad about this even though it's a sad story.

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I agree that this guy is probably in denial. He KNOWS he's in trouble and is afraid of what the doctor might tell him. I know at 81, I would not want to be given a diagnosis like cancer- not that there's ever a good time for such a revelation.

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Lemons from his tree .... he appreciates your concern, time and free advice. It probably is the most attention he has had in a long time. Weither you know it or not you made his day and might have saved his life. Lemons from his tree ... wow. There is no doubt you have made a new friend.

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Why do you feel you have to mind your own business. He let you look and you told him how serious it really was and now he is going to go see the dr. I think you did a fine job . There are those times in our lives that we intervine and it makes a difference to those who need help, and being female helps because we tend to have the motherly touch in the touch situations.

edited for saying that might be interped wrong sorry

Edited by Happiness
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Don't beat yourself up Kaisu: You did him a favor and he appreciated your concern.'

At 81 maybe he doesn't want to know how sick he may be.

Hopefully it's not too far advanced, but we all know that melanoma is one of the most insidious forms of cancer.

I lost a close friend 3 weeks ago that was diagnosed on Nov 12th and told he had colorectal cancer that had metzed to his liver.

Follow up test showed it to be a mutant form of melanoma. He died within 3 weeks of initial diagnosis from liver failure. I saw the CT scan and it showed his liver was one continuous mass of tumors, looked like a tight bunch of grapes.

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it is never easy to be the one who breaks any kind of bad news to anybody. Plus considering the akwardness of talking to someone you just give nods to every now and again, I am sure it compounded it. All considering you did that man a huge service. As others have said you may of triggered a good amount of fear into the guy that he may actually go to a doctor and be checked. I wish I was a wordsmith but to me I think that was a great service you did for that man. Kudos to you.

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It would be time to go if something was falling off Romney. Crapmagnet you should feel good about possibly saving him. You had the courage to speak up say something and potentially make a difference.

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In the comical, remember that denial is NOT just a river in Egypt.

Yes, it must have been a hard truth to the guy, but sometimes it takes a knowledgable semi-stranger to steer even a frightened person in the right direction, and always hopefully in time to correct whatever the situation. I fell asleep in the dispatch center of the NYC Health and Hospitals Corporation EMS, a while prior to the FDNY merger, and a Paramedic, looking in on the heavy snoring I was doing, suggested I get checked for Acute Sleep Apnea. When I did, I was told that I was having periods of not breathing lastiung up to 60 seconds at a time. Although not asked for, he saved my life!

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