CaliChic Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 I was doing my ride along and responded to a multi pt MVA. I was assisting with DCAP-BTLS and c-spine on our pt who was the driver in a roll over suv. We were getting ready to lift the gurney, when I was looking up at the firefighter for the count, I saw the Peds crew pulling out a toddler out of the car that our pt hit. I saw the baby on the backboard posturing. and everyone saying that kid was in really bad shape..my heart sank,and felt angered at our pt.. I tried so hard to stay professional and not show my emotions or say anything other than what was necessary ..which was the hardest thing for me to do, we finished our call and soon as I could I went to a bathroom and balled my eyes out..The guys I as with seemed fine, they were quiet afterwards but fine seemingly.. Than later I saw on the news follow up of the incident it said 5ppl were recovering ..There was 6pts..all trauma I am wondering if I belong here, am I to soft or weak to be in this field? I just passed my NREMT this week and wonder should I pull out?. How do people process their emotions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwiology Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 Nah you are human Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tcripp Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 I am wondering if I belong here, am I to soft or weak to be in this field? I just passed my NREMT this week and wonder should I pull out?. How do people process their emotions? There is another thread from someone wondering the same thing. I'll tell you as I told him/her. Only you will know if this really is for you, but before you bail, give it some time. TALK TO SOMEONE. This is a start, but you need more personal interaction. Find out if your service or local hospital has a CISD. If not and you are of faith, find clergy. If not, PM me and we can talk. Everyone processes their emotions a little differently. My recommendation, in addition to talking to someone, is to make sure you are eating well, exercising and getting enough sleep. Turning to drugs/alcohol/smoking are not smart choices...IMHO. Humor is a good way to help get through most of this. It's truly why we do have black humor in EMS. In an effort to tickle your funny bone, http://www.thelunati...ems/rules.html. And add these thoughts to your memory bank. (1) Remember why you are here...it's to help people. (2) And, people die. It's a fact of life. My tag line used to read, "I don't save lives, God does. I'm just here to give him time to change his mind." I hope this helps. And, we are here for you. Toni 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nypamedic43 Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 As Toni has already stated...people die, it's a fact of life and we can't save everyone. Keeping objectivity is really hard sometimes, especially where your patient is the cause of a child's misery. In order to keep the objectivity, concentrate on your patient. In your mind, he may not deserve good treatment, but he is your patient and regardless of what has happened, deserves the best care you can offer. We can't, usually, pick our patients, so we must do the best we can for them. We have to prisons in my city. I never ever ask what the inmate has done to be in jail. I don't want to know if they are a child molester or a rapist....keeps my objectivity intact. Give it some time, talk to your partners or your clergy. Remember why you got into EMS in the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaliChic Posted October 30, 2011 Author Share Posted October 30, 2011 Thank you all I was wondering if I was wrong for the feelings I had.. like I said the guys I was with seemed fine, just quiet. Was I too emotional, am I the weak link..is there something wrong with me? am I too soft. Why can't I be like how the guys were? I did stay focused on our pt but it was hard. I did not talk to him more than I had to though. I did the care he needed, luckily we had to take a firefighter on our unit.. so I didn't have to do it alone. this is the first time I had something like this..I had MVA's before, and some other crazy calls and I understand that people die and we can't save everyone. I never had a peds call yet, and seeing that bothered me. I think it might have to do with that I kid that age and/or the situation.Because adult cases don't bother me as much. Unfortunately I did not get the opportunity for CISD because I was not an employee, it was just my last ride along to graduate, I do love the job though..I have had the chance to experience some interesting things and help people, is why I got into this..but I think it was the mixed emotions that got me..I wish the cop didn't tell me I had the guy that caused it all. I could sense his anger in his voice when he said what happened.. I am getting better about it though, and all your great advice is greatly appreciated Thank you all so much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tcripp Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Unfortunately I did not get the opportunity for CISD because I was not an employee, it was just my last ride along to graduate, Thank you all so much I missed that part. Talk to your instructor and program director. If it's like my instructor from two years ago...I know they'd still offer an ear and a shoulder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaceMedic Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Unfortunately I did not get the opportunity for CISD because I was not an employee. Was this in a service you had to travel to or local to you ? CISD is for everyone on scene and not just employees, there should have been one for everyone involved all at the same time. I am sorry to hear that you were left out of that. Race Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaliChic Posted October 30, 2011 Author Share Posted October 30, 2011 I know they asked the guys and they opted out, no one talked to me and my instructor talk to me for about 2 min but it was during class time, instructor was not avail after class I kinda talked to one of the skills instructors for about another 1 or 2 min, but then it was time for our MCI lecture so that about the most I got to talk about it with people who know what I am talking about..tried to talk to a couple friends but what I was explaining to them freaked them out and said they don't wanna hear it, which I can't blame them. When friends talk about their jobs/ day, etc...They say they dont wanna hear about my day cause I my day is gross..so kinda out of options of talking so Thank you all for letting me get that out and for you replies it helped out so much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaceMedic Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 we are all in this together Cali ... never feel alone you can always come here and talk ... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard B the EMT Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Due to copyright infringement laws, I won't reproduce the poetry, but will provide a link to it, re how some patients mess up more than just their own lives. I think it speaks volumes towards feelings on calls like the one posted by the OP. http://mrmom.amaonline.com/special/Iwanttotellyoulies.htm Almost forgot this one, semi-religious and with a small bit of tongue in cheek. http://www.godisgroovy.com/USA/WhenGodMadeParamedics.shtml Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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