Words for women to live by

[Happiness]

Words for Women to Live By

1. Aspire to be Barbie - the bitch has everything.

2. If the shoe fits - buy them in every color.

3. Take life with a pinch of salt...a wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.

4. In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the girls!

5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days).

6. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.

7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality.

8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.

9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.

10. Don't get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes you walk funny.

11. When life gives you lemons - turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka.

12. Remember wherever there is a good looking, sweet, single or married man there is some woman tired of his bullshit!

13. Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of parenthood are the hardest.

14. If it has Tires or Testicles it's gonna give you trouble.

15. By the time a woman realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong.

Good friends are like stars ....... you don't always see them,

but you know they are always there

Remember yesterday, dream about tomorrow, but live for today!

Now smile and send to any girl wasting time at work, suffering from a hangover, or just suffering from life, who might want a reason to smile!

[emtannie]

Words for Women to Live By

1. Aspire to be Barbie - the bitch has everything.

Yeah, but she dates Ken, which we all know means she isn't getting any.....

[DwayneEMTP]

Words for Women to Live By

1. Aspire to be Barbie - the bitch has everything.

Everything? I think not! She is certainly without a vagina! I can vouch for this because as a young boy I took a close look, sometimes to involve a magnifying device and bright lights, and nothing, nada, zipparoony! In fact, I once thought that she was an accurate representation of what other women looked like 'down there' and couldn't figure out what all the fuss was about!! (But I get it now...Hoooo boy, I was misled..)

So, while reading this post I'm thinking that if you really want to be Barbie, then there are several things you might want to consider... I'll show you...

...3. Take life with a pinch of salt...a wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.

...11. When life gives you lemons - turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka.

Yeah, right? Two pieces of advice that often end in activities requiring a vagina. (I'm not making this up..this is simple biology)

...6. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.

Just to show that I'm open minded and fair, this piece of advice actually makes sense for Barbie wanna bes. In real life very few problems can be solved more quickly, or thoroughly with you panties on. But sans va jay jay, perhaps one should focus on alternate options...just sayin'. (Those in long term relationships will get this, those not may believe I'm saying that women are whores and should screw their way to success, I'm not, (though I don't see how it could hurt.) I won't explain now, as I'm trying to be funny, and in my world it's terribly difficult to attempt humor and be sexually sensitive at the same time. This is ignorant guy stuff and most of the smart women I know will laugh their panties right off while watching dumb guys do dumb guy things...just sayin')

...10. Don't get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes you walk funny.

Walking funny...trying to think of something funny on this subject that involves walking funny...Nope, got nothing. #10 doesn't really belong in this thread.

...12. Remember wherever there is a good looking, sweet, single or married man there is some woman tired of his bullshit!

...14. If it has Tires or Testicles it's gonna give you trouble.

That's just sexist, offensive bullshit right there...I'm disappointed in you Happiness for promoting such generalized, stereotypical nonsense!

...13. Keep your chin up....

Outstanding advice for the vaginaless. (The rest of that sentence made no sense at all. Edited for clarity.)

15. By the time a woman realizes her mother was right...

Her mother was right? LMAO...Heheheheheh.... oh man, that's funny.

So, I hope that clears things up.

Now, I know what you're thinking! That makes so much sense! Why didn't I think of that before? How can I get Dwayne to come and give a talk at our local schools? Requests for talks on sexual equality should be sent through my professional website, WWW.barbiewouldbehotifsheonlyhadavajayjay.com.

Dwayne

[emtannie]

HAHAHAHAHA Dwayne, that is hysterical!

Dang – I was so concerned that Ken was without a penis that I never thought how disturbing it is that Barbie doesn’t have a vagina….

There are some things though…

Who is Barbie’s aesthetician? Damn, I can’t get a wax job that good….

You are right – I would drink more tequila if I didn’t have a vagina… I only drink enough that I have no need for big girl panties… oh never mind….

I think I am still more disturbed about Ken…

Was he working on gender reassignment, and ran out of money because he was always buying Barbie a new car? Or maybe because they always had to move, because she always had a new job? (waitress, vet, firefighter, nurse, police officer, surfer girl…)

Why did he always wear a sweater? You can’t trust a guy in a sweater in summertime… there is something wrong about that.

Now my brain hurts, and I am going to go find some tequila, talk to my girlfriend, and put my big girl panties back on….

[Happiness]

Everything? I think not! She is certainly without a vagina! I can vouch for this because as a young boy I took a close look, sometimes to involve a magnifying device and bright lights, and nothing, nada, zipparoony! In fact, I once thought that she was an accurate representation of what other women looked like 'down there' and couldn't figure out what all the fuss was about!! (But I get it now...Hoooo boy, I was misled..)

I had both Barbie and Ken and all I can say is thank god there wasnt a child phycologist hanging around, they would still be traumatized....

So, while reading this post I'm thinking that if you really want to be Barbie, then there are several things you might want to consider... I'll show you...

Well my comment to this is that I already have everything

Yeah, right? Two pieces of advice that often end in activities requiring a vagina. (I'm not making this up..this is simple biology)

Well when I drink vodka and tequila it will ofter end in activities requiring a penis (my collage days are over)

Just to show that I'm open minded and fair, this piece of advice actually makes sense for Barbie wanna bes. In real life very few problems can be solved more quickly, or thoroughly with you panties on. But sans va jay jay, perhaps one should focus on alternate options...just sayin'. (Those in long term relationships will get this, those not may believe I'm saying that women are whores and should screw their way to success, I'm not, (though I don't see how it could hurt.) I won't explain now, as I'm trying to be funny, and in my world it's terribly difficult to attempt humor and be sexually sensitive at the same time. This is ignorant guy stuff and most of the smart women I know will laugh their panties right off while watching dumb guys do dumb guy things...just sayin')

Yep we do laugh at dumb guys who do dumb guys things for Example How a pair of boobs can make them smile at any age

Walking funny...trying to think of something funny on this subject that involves walking funny...Nope, got nothing. #10 doesn't really belong in this thread.

Go have a nice slow seductive waltze with your honey and you will understand walking funny

That's just sexist, offensive bullshit right there...I'm disappointed in you Happiness for promoting such generalized, stereotypical nonsense!

Truth hurts

Outstanding advice for the vaginaless. (The rest of that sentence made no sense at all. Edited for clarity.)

Agreed

Her mother was right? LMAO...Heheheheheh.... oh man, that's funny.

Well I had boys so I have no comment but I do know that I am always right

So, I hope that clears things up.

Now, I know what you're thinking! That makes so much sense! Why didn't I think of that before? How can I get Dwayne to come and give a talk at our local schools? Requests for talks on sexual equality should be sent through my professional website, WWW.barbiewouldbehotifsheonlyhadavajayjay.com.

Make sure Opera is aware of your website as she may want you to be a guest

Dwayne

Dwayne you do make me laugh

[DwayneEMTP]

Oh...My...God...Happiness, Annie, I can't tell you how hard I laughed at your responses!

First, because they were bawdy and hilarious, but also with the simple joy of having a silly adult conversation without worrying about a trip to HR! You two are a joy....Wendy would have fit, but she's polluted her life with a bunch of silly schoolwork... Some people and their priorities...

And for the record I've always been pretty convinced that the two of your came equipped with a full set of factory parts... :-)

I intend to reply, but now I can see that I'll have to think for a little minute if I'm going to escape this conversation with all of my parts intact and in the same size and shape as when this thread was started.

Dwayne

[HERBIE1]

Folks, you have no idea how much I needed this little reprieve from reality. Heavy duty problems right now.

Thanks one and all....

[Happiness]

Dwayne, did your mother ever warn you about those Canadian Girls........hehehe Annie and I are them........

[DwayneEMTP]

Dwayne, did your mother ever warn you about those Canadian Girls........hehehe Annie and I are them........

My momma was wise, and wanted me to be happy. She told me to keep a special eye out for girls like you...

Dwayne

[Richard B the EMT]

On the other hand, I recall the problems from the one time they sold, and billed as such, "Anatomically Correct" Barbie and Ken dolls.