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THE_DITCH_DOCTOR

DUMBEST THING EVER HEARD ON THE RADIO/SCANNER

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You hear "Truckin'" by the Grateful Dead coming over the radio, and the dispatch center breaks in, demands the broadcasting vehicle to ID themselves, and the reply comes back, "Sorry Dispatch, 84-XX with a stuck mike". It's only funny if you happen to realize that the unit in question (not ID'ed for security reasons) is involved in drug interdiction for the county sheriff's department. :lol:

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When I get the request for something like that and request no LS I pull right up to the call with the siren screaming.

I do the exact same thing. People who request an ambulance for something completely retarded like that, I go full code lights and sirens. They request an ambulance, there going to get one.

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Medic911...

Another nice touch to add to that is INTENTIONALLY parking in the WRONG driveway (or by the wrong apartment building). Drives them NUTS when the neighbors start asking questions...

I actually had a patient pull the cot sheet over her head, while we were wheeling the cot past 3 of her neighbors' houses to the driveway I parked in, so the neighbors couldn't see...

Changed her mind pretty quick when she heard a few of the neighbors ask if "that cranky, whiny, old ***** had finally kicked the bucket"....

When she flipped the sheet back.... the look on their faces was PRICELESS!!!

Oh, by the way, before I get accused of delaying care of a patient... her complaint was a POSSIBLE broken little toe on her left foot (i.e. not the foot she should have been using on the pedals in her own car while driving herself to the hospital 1 mile away)................. God love the stupid people, they make for great job security!!

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Oh yeah I know exactly what you mean. I have had several patients that try to cover themselves with the blanket so that there neighbors dont see them. Ive done that where you park in someones elses driveway. Always seem to get the retarded calls at like 4:30 in the morning, So the lights in the driveway is a nice touch. It is job security, but retarded people abuse the system so much fo stupid little things. Lits like drive yourself to the hospital, your only 3 blocks away.

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My wife and I (including her mom, dad, brother, uncle, aunt, and 2 cousins) all run for the same dept. They had all come over for a cookout one day a couple of weeks ago. We were all sitting around the picnic table when the pager went off. My wife, her mom and I were on call for the medic. We were dispatched for a 34 yo female who was having an allergic reaction to insulin. It took us about 5 extra minutes to respond from lauging how arses off. Good thing we live close to the firehouse. The dispatcher, who also works with us, gave us additional information and said that the pt. took her insulin and is now having an allergic reaction to it. She has been on insulin for the past 3 years. We got there and there was nothing wrong. No signs of anaphylaxis. She admitted to us that her boyfriend left her the day before and she just wanted some attention.

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a friend of ours who just before he moved to another state for a medic position played an 8 sec bit of a song he wrote about working ems in this area over the radio. it was the morning after his last night shift, and it was awesome!!

another one i heard about from a friend who used to work in Fl, he was trying to find his partner so they could respond to a non-emergent call and he called him on the radio--his partner responded 'I'm taking a s%&* give me a minute!!' He probably would have gotten away with it but someone from the FCC was in the dispatch center that day and heard it, he got slapped with $1,000 fine (it was much more but it got reduced), not too swift

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The guy got off lucky. Most times the FCC fines an individual, it can be as high as $10,000 AND/OR a year in Fed Prison!

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