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lol funnies thing so far was this

Fire Depratment A was on the way to a fire call and called Fire Department B for assistence.....these are both really rural backwoods hillbilly fire departments

Dispatcht to FD A

FD A go ahead dispatch

UHHH can you guys respond to an Engine on fire

silence......then you hear someone from the FD go..Can you advise in this is a Fire engine?

dispatch comes on and was like yes FD Bs engine has caught fire while enroute to you and needs assistence to put it out

FD A comes on and was liek ok well be there in a minute

was hilairous

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Just a few minutes ago, I heard the following on the sheriff's dept frequency: "Unit 89, Unit 74, respond to Walmart on a report of a 10-10 verbal (argument) between a woman and a seven year old

That must be why the NYPD, FDNY, and FDNY EMS refer to someone as "Being Under", as opposed to "Under Arrest", so we don't get erroneous calls for prisoners whose (alleged) hearts are still beating.

How many of you have been in an ER where the nurses - and possibly the doctors as well - would call for the paramedic working there (those where a paramedic is on the ER staff) to do a particularly tricky stick? The paramedic may not be the "highest trained" but is probably the one with the most experience in doing sticks under less-than-optimal conditions.
Happened just the other day. I was in the EMS room finishing my narrative, when one of the ED nurses I precepted with ask If I could do a stick for her. I went into the room and saw what looked like the mommy due to all the 2 x 2's on her arm. Located my site and was about to stick when I asked the nurse if she would be so kind as to shake the bed for me. :D
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Had a crew a few months ago go to a NH to pick up a new patient. They marked transporting, then at destination at a dialysis facility. A few minutes later, they marked transporting back to the NH. Turns out they picked up the wrong patient. They still haven't heard the end of it.

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The dumbest thing I heard on the radio goes as follows:

Dispatch: Attention EMS 5 respond to (*&&^^) road reference man down.

US: EMS 5 responding (Thats actually me checking enroute)

Dispatch: EOC to EMS 5

US: Go ahead EOC

Dispatch: Caller now reports the patient is suffering GSW to abdomen

Us:EMS 5 ok on that, ETA of law enforcement?

Dispatch: Deputy advises 8-10 minutes.

Us: OK EOC we will be staging at the EXXON

Dispatch: EOC to EMS 5


Dispatch: Caller advises the patient is getting worse.

US: Ok on that EOC, ETA of Deputy

Dispatch: Still approx 6 minutes

Us:OK we are standing by and will continue to scene one Deputy advises same is clear.

Dispatch: EOC to EMS 5


Dispatch: Caller advises there is no danger and promises there is no risk, we recommend you procede ahead of Deputy, it sounds like the patient is critical.

US: EMS 5 to EOC, be advised we appreciate the promise from the caller, but have you considered whether they were the shooter?

Dispatch: Unable to advise EMS 5

Us: EMS 5 to EOC, per policy and common sense we will remain in staging until scene is secure.

Dispatch: "Ok on that EMS 5"

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My service area has several predominantly black and hispanic "Projects", public housing apartment building complexes, so this one was kind of funny...

On NYPD Division:

"One Oh One Anticrime, report of a suspicious brown Crown Vic with blacked out windows, between buildings 5 and 6 on the footpath. Occupied by 4 white males."

"Central, oh one anticrime. That Crown Vic is identified. It's US!"

My partner and I, monitoring from our ambulance, nearly fell out of the ambulance, laughing!

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  • 3 weeks later...

About a year ago my partner and I were responding to an MVA, one vehicle off the roadway and unknown injuires.

While responding we see something in the roadway. Thinking that the accident occurred near a river I figured it was a dead deer and it had gotten hit by the vehicle. We are passing by this thing in the roadway and are about to radio onscene:

"County, MedicXX is arriving....."

"Holy s*&( we got one in the middle of the roadway."

"County is cheif 503 on scene yet?

"Yes MedicXX he's on scene."

"OK can you have him come down here we are assessing this pt that is lying in the roadway"

"MedicXX he's on scene can you just talk to him yourself"

"County he's not here. Radio him and have him come to our location."

"MedicXX he is onscene w/a DOA."

"County I can assure you he is not here where we are. Please radio him and have him come to the accident scene on river road."


Turns out what I thought was a deer was a dead guy. Seems that the jeep struck some drunk who was walking home. The jeep inturn gets screwy after striking the drunk and runs off the roadway. The driver of the jeep gets ejected and is pinned underneath the jeep. So in essance yes the chief was o/s but down over the embankment so he could not see our medic unit, and we were 50yds from him working on the pedestrian struck. As it goes the pedestrian that got struck was killed and the driver was also when he got pinned underneathhis Jeep.

Truly a wierd call....plus no reprimand for the holy S&*% comment.

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HQ: A-XX stand by with the fire department for a possible structure fire.

US: A-XX Recieve

HQ: A-XX you're canceled per fire command

US: 10-4, what do you want us to do with the hot dogs we bought?

HQ: Find some buns. Avaliable for another call?

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Dispatch: 101, where are you?

101: Peninsula Boulevard at Mill Road.

Dispatch: 102, where are YOU?

102: Tailgating 101

Dispatch: OK, 102, you're closer and have the call back in Far Rockaway.

(Both were returning from the Far Rockaways area, returning home to the base in Freeport. I was driving 101 at the time!)

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