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Felt like this before?


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Hi everyone, I'm an EMT-P and have a question for you. Have you ever had a call, where you felt like you did everything right at the time, but your patient died. Now looking back, maybe there are things you could have done differently and you fell really stressed. I had a call like this several days ago, and still 2nd guessing myself and feeling guilty. Also I don't feel comfortable at this time talking to my co-workers. Can you help me?

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I am not a paramedic but have had a call like that. Hell even the doctor we called who came to the scene told all of us that no matter what we would have done it was a no win situation. That call was almost two years ago now. I still after the doc saying this second guessed everything for a while. It will take time but eventually you will realize you did what you could.

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The first call I ever went on was a full arrest that went sour and died. It was not the smoothest call in the history of mankind and a lot of things could have been done to make things run better. I felt horrible about it but you have to remember you did everything you could as well as you could during that incredibly intense and stressful moment in time. Now that you have time to look back and think about what you could have done differently, don't kick yourself in the butt about that call, but learn from the experience for next time. You can't change what's already happened so it doesn't do any good to let it haunt you or keep worrying about it. The great thing about this job is that it keeps teaching you so that you can do better in the future. Also remember some people just insist on dying and there are times when there's nothing we can do about it. We are not God.

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I'm sure everybody has had calls, especially arrests and kicked themselves for when something didn't go exactly as planned. Nothing ever does. But this is real life. Sometimes the ambulance won't start. Sometimes the machines will decide to do their own thing. Stretchers collapse, people trip, doors are barricaded, etc. etc. While some of these things can be minimized (i.e. maintenance on the ambulance), many of them are simply beyond our control. The only thing you can control is your own training and skill, which is why all those instructors and everybody in class was so hard on you, so that when you graduate and you wear that patch, you will do the right thing. My question is, is there something specific you feel you could have done better? Or is it just a wracking of your brain wondering if you did everything right? If its the former, maybe there's something you can work on. If its the latter, you're probably just feeling bad that, yeah, the patient in your care died, which is the hardest thing to accept, that sometimes, no matter what we do, people still die.

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On my first CPR call our crew chief was a young but very good AEMT-CC and he could not figure out what was causing all the trouble with ventilating the pt. We got the pt to the ER in about 25 minutes (fast for the distance and the snow and fog enroute) and they worked on him for another 20 minutes before giving up. It turned out that the pt had a spontaneous bilateral pneumothorax. Even the ER doctor didn't see it at first. He decompressed one side as a last shoot to try to do something but it was to little, too late. The doctor told our crew chief that there was no way he could have found it in the back of an ambulance, but he still felt bad about it for quite a while.

The AEMT-CC is working on his Paramedic now and I hope to work with him again soon.

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If your asking this I presume you are probably new to the field. Yes, we all have had such feelings. You will find out with time, that we really do not change fate. If is is for the person to die, it will happen no matter what we or anybody does... of course our job is to be sure all preventable measures was taken.... good luck..I suggest talking to an veteran medic privately & discuss this .

Good luck,

Ridryder 911

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There's an old line, "The operation was a success, but the patient died".

Sometimes, no matter what, the patient dies. It's not only your skill with the patient, sometimes, it's totally unpredictable.

Definitely, talk to senior personnel, the doctors and nurses, and clergy, if so inclined, review what you did, and what you didn't do. If you did everything correctly, at least you will have that consolation.

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  • 7 months later...

Yes, had a pedi code in 2004. The other paramedic "got scared" because the baby did not make it and started an incident investigation finger pointing me as that I did not do all I could. I have subsequently retired from Paramedicine after 15 years in the field. During my years I have had many people "saved" and were able to be discharged. Some patients just don't make it despite what you do.

His patient did make it? FIRE THE MORON!!!!!!!! <sarcasm>

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had a call on a short of breath. Got to the house. door locked. no response on the call back. looked all over the yard and around the house to find a place they might have kept a key.

20 minutes later a police officer went to the neighbors house and was able to get a key. We opened the door, looked around the house. didn't find a patient.

walked downstairs and in a finished basement there was the patient. DEAD WE did not work her.

I kicked myself for not forcing the issue of forced entry but I documented in the report that the PD refused to allow forced entry since there was no answer on the call back and the house was dark.

He got 2 days off and and internal affairs investigation. Not pretty

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  • 1 month later...
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