Loving/ living with another in EMS

[letmesleep]

Ok, Ok, so this may come off as bitching or complaining, but don't look at it like that. In my situation we have learned to deal with things and are well adapted to our life-style.

Just for s**ts and giggles I just was wondering how often it is that EMS workers get together, and share "LIFE" with each other outside the job? It seems to happen quite a bit from what I can tell, but just how does it work for those who live this way? What are the ups and downs that you experience together?

As I have posted before, I am engaged to a paramedic, I am a paramedic, we work opposite shifts (24hr), we work at different districts. Obviously the "normal" relationship stuff is in play such as being considerate of each others needs, trusting each other, yada, yada, but how do you deal with only seeing each other 10 days a month? How do you spend that time together? What do you do to stretch it out? We (me and the fiance) visit each other at the station during lunch and/or dinner, and do take in to consideration everybody elses needs during down time in house. This practice is very common in our area, dinner is known as family time. We both get up in the am and spend time drinking some morning coffee together before sending the other off to the job. The phone......good gawd the phone!!!!

How do you handle the good old "shop talk"? Come on, if its a good relationship you share everything, don't you? So how do you talk shop with your sig other? Is there just "sitting back and listening" going on, or do you two QI each other? Is there any training with each other......outside the bedroom that is.......that you share? The chick and I talk shop, and share details of the calls we run, keeping within HIPPA guidelines of course, We share the experience of a "good" call, and the ones that make us laugh. There is plenty of respect for each other to say "I would have done it this way" keeping in mind that we were NOT both there. Training isn't always together, but we try like hell to bring the information back to the other for reading material, which really is piled up next to the toilet here at home......LOL!

So how do you do things? It doesn't even have to be the fact that your sig other is in EMS. What if they are a cop? A nurse? Doctor? or just a very interested spouse? We all know how hard our shifts can be, so how is it done in your household?

[JTpaintball70]

Me and my fiance are both EMT-Bs going to P-school right now as well as working full time (on opposite shifts, me nights her days) at the same company. I'd be lying if I didn't say it was hard. We're doing our best right now and seem to be doing ok, but the not seeing each other more than a couple days a week is getting to both of us.

[iMac]

It works. I lived with one of my ex-s for a year. Things ended up not working out and we went our seperate ways (personal reasons). I have more relationships within EMS or Policing more so than fellows that were outside of it. I find that for me, it was a lot better within as you need to have that support when you enter a career like this.

I have had that chat with many fellow co-workers who say you are better off NOT to marry or date within but I think it's a personal choice. I see the pros and cons of both.

[Ridryder 911]

Hmmm bad joo joo... Been in three long term relationships, two which ended up in marriage > 10 years and all three were EMS related. One a EMT became ER RN, second Paramedic and third a Flight Nurse. My new requirements is NOT to be active in any EMS activities.

Yes, it does help for those to understand our moodiness, but I have found as well most of us has A type personalities. Yes, the A stands for something else as well. Not that it can't work, just the personality itself is very competitive and we all know that most medics cannot turn off the switch alike some others, which in a relationship one has to do. Something I have learned with time. Too much of thing is bad..

When I first received my Paramedic degree, when had to attend an intro class. It had five married EMS couples and they gave advice on "how to make it work". Ironically, all five couples were divorced in three years.

R/r 911

[Kiwiology]

I personally think it's just about finding the right person and the right balance. My uncle is a 27 year veteran of the fire department and has been married all that time. Friend of mine's wife hated him being a firefighter and they got divorced in about 6 or 9 months. My dad was also a firefighter (engineer); he and my mother have a terrible relationship which has nothing to do with his involvement in the fire service, so it goes to show it can be everything or nothing.

If you find the right person I don't think anything is impossible, even if you're both working opposite shifts and never see other. The future Mrs Kiwi also plans to become a paramedic; so I hope for sleep's sake and mine we can make it work with our partners

[island emt]

We've been married 34 years to each other and were in EMS prior to getting married.

As with any other career it takes a lot of work and communication to make it go well & last.

Don't blame a bad relationship on bedhopping at the job.

[Yummymedic05]

My significant other just happens to be my total opposite so it works wonders. We worked opposite shifts, i'm a paramedic, he's a basic so we've had our disagreements...all in all I think it's the person, not specifically the profession.

[Stitch]

I think it's great having another delightfully sick and twisted person to share shop talk with! My BF is an EMT-I and is in RN school, I'm a basic trying to go for my medic, and its so nice not having to explain things, or who can understand when you get a certain sick and twisted glee out of calls..

[Asysin2leads]

My answer is to go the extra mile for your significant other. Remember that your job takes more of a toll on them than anybody, and if you love them, you'll put their feelings before you're own. That means maybe having to suck up your moodiness and on those days you just want to crawl into bed and hide under the covers, making the extra effort to get up and cook them breakfast instead.

And if at the end of the week you can't do all the things your job requires of you and be there for the person who is in your life, then you either need to end your relationship or find a job that allows you to do both. Because people may understand your moodiness and when you had a bad day, but if you have a bad day every day, then its time to find something else to do.

[Froggymedic]

[/font:267748d0aa] My husband and I are both paramedics. We both met while volunteering as basics in a rescue squad. We supported each other in going to school/clinicals/ride time for paramedic class, and now we both work full time jobs as medics. I LOVE the fact that I can come home, share my stories and calls with him, and him actually know what I'm talking about. He doesnt look at me like a deer in the headlights! lol We give each other advice on what we would have done differently on certain calls, etc. It really helps me alot with the stress to know that, when I vent to him about bad calls; that he truly knows what I'm going through, and can help. I wouldn't change either of our professions. I love it!