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Sometimes I cant help myself..........


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George Bush has a heart attack and dies.

Obviously, he goes to hell where the Devil is waiting for him.

I'm not sure what to do,' says the Devil.

You're on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to

stay here, so I'm going to have to let some-one else go. I've got

three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them

go, so you can take their place. I'll even let you decide who leaves.'

George thought that sounded pretty good considering the circumstances,

so he agreed.

The Devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large

pool of hot water. He kept diving in and climbing out, over and over.

Such was his fate in Hell.

No!' George said. 'I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and don't

think I could stay in hot water all day.'

The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledge

hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing the hammer, time

after time.

No! ' I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant

agony if all I could do was break rocks all day' commented George.

The Devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying on

the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in a

spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she

does best.

George Bush looked at this in disbelief for awhile and finally said,

'Yeah, I can handle this.'

The Devil smiled and said, 'Ok, Monica, you're free to go!'

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So I worked yesterday on the ALS Engine in our house. We got a call at 12:00 noon for a suicide. We get to one of The University of Chicago's dorms (one of the most prestigeous medical schools in the world) and found a 22 y/o male patient who had supposedly taken a whole bottle of anti anxiety pills he had a prescription for and chugged a $200.00 bottle of red wine that i could not pronounce. This idios dorm and its electronics and furnishing were nicer than my house. His twerpy room mate said he just took the pills and locked himself in his room.

He was not being very cooperative and was fighting all our efforts. CPD showed up, cuffed him and he freaked out. Kicking legs and spitting. I put a non-rebreather on him and strapped his legs and torso to the stair chair. He was swearing and threatening everyone. He kept swinging his head around try to get the mask off and insult me as I was wheeling him down a narrow hallway with beautiful old wood paneling covering the walls. I told him repeatedly to quit moving as he was going to hurt himself. Being a brain-iack from the University, he obviously knew better.

He said "man I really dont feel good, I think I'm gonna get sick". I said (as I had enough of this poor over-priviledged guy) "If you think you don't feel good now, wait until they start to pump your stomach Einstein." Well he went nuts and I told him to stop.

He moved his brain filled head one too many times. BOOOOOOOM! As I was crossing another hallway he caught his head on the hard wooden wall corner. Man it was loud and boy that must have hurt! My ofifcer turned around and said "Was that his head?". Everyone including the cops began to laugh as the PT was moaning. No cut be he will have a nice egg.

I know patient care is important and it was probably wrong to laugh, but boy that made my day. God works in mysterious ways and he does have a great sense of humor!

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So I worked yesterday on the ALS Engine in our house. We got a call at 12:00 noon for a suicide. We get to one of The University of Chicago's dorms (one of the most prestigeous medical schools in the world) and found a 22 y/o male patient who had supposedly taken a whole bottle of anti anxiety pills he had a prescription for and chugged a $200.00 bottle of red wine that i could not pronounce. This idios dorm and its electronics and furnishing were nicer than my house. His twerpy room mate said he just took the pills and locked himself in his room.

He was not being very cooperative and was fighting all our efforts. CPD showed up, cuffed him and he freaked out. Kicking legs and spitting. I put a non-rebreather on him and strapped his legs and torso to the stair chair. He was swearing and threatening everyone. He kept swinging his head around try to get the mask off and insult me as I was wheeling him down a narrow hallway with beautiful old wood paneling covering the walls. I told him repeatedly to quit moving as he was going to hurt himself. Being a brain-iack from the University, he obviously knew better.

He said "man I really dont feel good, I think I'm gonna get sick". I said (as I had enough of this poor over-priviledged guy) "If you think you don't feel good now, wait until they start to pump your stomach Einstein." Well he went nuts and I told him to stop.

He moved his brain filled head one too many times. BOOOOOOOM! As I was crossing another hallway he caught his head on the hard wooden wall corner. Man it was loud and boy that must have hurt! My ofifcer turned around and said "Was that his head?". Everyone including the cops began to laugh as the PT was moaning. No cut be he will have a nice egg.

I know patient care is important and it was probably wrong to laugh, but boy that made my day. God works in mysterious ways and he does have a great sense of humor!

Been there, done that, a number of times.

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