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ambulance_princess9821

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    bandgirl2121
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    bandgirl2121@aol.com
  • Website URL
    http://www.millvillerescue.org
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    uremt21

Profile Information

  • Location
    MILLVILLE, Upper Deerfield, NJ
  • Interests
    EMS-soccer-band-being me-my lover

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  1. Help me i need help on this if you have any info let me know i want to get over there asap thanks[/font:266675f721]
  2. here is mine what is yours Questions to Ask Yourself 1. Do you mind rats and roaches assisting on the scene? nope 2. Do you mind when people bleed, barf, or blow snot all over your freshly pressed uniform? nope 3. Does the thought of supressing your bodily functions for 24 hours at a time bother you? nope 4. Do you expect patients to answer your questions intelligently or truthfully? nope 5. Do you believe that the heart monitor makes a noise when someone's heart stops? yes and no 6. Do you expect to be well paid, thought of as a hero, and thanked for your presence? hell no 7. Do you watch Rescue 911? YES!! *If you answered YES to any of these questions, please seek another profession.*
  3. 1. Cover your ass! (CYA) 2. Sometimes people will die despite our best efforts! 3. In the event of Rule 2 refer to Rule 1! 4. Just remember it's their emergency, not yours! 5. ASYSTOLE is a very stable rhythm! 6. Dead people very seldom get any better, but they never get worse! 7. If it felt good saying it, you probably shouldn't have! 8. A patients weight is in direct proportion to their altitude in a building! 9. Can you walk?...Have you tried?...Are you sure you can't walk? (see Rule 8). 10. If EMS workers never eat, sleep,or go to the bathroom... nobody would ever get sick or injured! 11. The amount of whining an injured patient does is in inverse proportion to the severity of their injuries! 12. Be scared of the child that isn't crying! 13. If you go on an MVA after midnight and don't find a drunk...keep looking... someone is missing! 14. All bleeding stops eventually! 15. Equipment will fail only at the time you really need it! 16. Expect to get screwed and you won't be disappointed! 17. If you have to ask, seek a refresher course! 18. Never ASSUME (because if there was ever a profession that it could bite you in the ass, this is it). 19. Never take a previous call with you to the next. 20. There is no I in the word TEAM. 21. Be able to turn it on and off like a bulb or it will catch up with you and burn you out! 22. If you drop a baby, fake a seizure! 23. The RULE of 3's-If it's 3am and there is 3 flights of stairs they will be 300+lbs. 24. Skinny people don't need ambulances! 25. The patient will always be in the most difficult part of the house there is to get them out of, ( up steep stairs, in the basement, or in the back bedroom of a house with a very narrow hallway) and the patient usually is 300+lbs. 26. The size of the car is in inverse proportion to the patient (it's always the 300+ people that wrecked their YUGO)! 27. "Air goes in, Air goes out, and Blood goes around and around" Anything other than that is a bad thing! 28. I go home at the end of the shift. 29. My partner goes home at the end of the shift. 30. Any variation of Rules 1 or 2 are NOT allowed! 31. If you don't recognize the rhythm, SHOCK it until you do! 32. An oxygen mask is NOT a source of entertainment![/font:a7edbdc1ca]
  4. Quick background: a friend of mine went on a ridealong at my old job, back when I was an EMT(~ 1996). I was partnered with someone known as Fucking Rizzo (name changed to protect me! but the first part is true). It was the day from hell and she came up with 10 observations of the day.... 1. Ignore patients as much as possible- I don't know you, you don't know me, but tell me if you have any pain. 2. The EMT always gets fucked, if you listen closely you can hear the sound of it. It sounds like an phone ringing. 3. Chinese food shall always be disposed of out the window while driving code 3 to a BS call in another county. 4. There are times when seatbelts aren't just optional equipment. 5. You're not going fast till the speedometer doesn't register anymore. 6. Get in, sit down, shut up! 7. The day's not over till the late job comes in (see #3) 8. The Med control option always used: Drive faster! 9. EMS personnel never eat, as soon as they do the EMT is inevitably fucked! 10. It is only requires that any 2 wheels of the ambulance ever touch the ground while driving.
  5. 1. Stuck with the partner from hell 2. Placed on the busiest bus. 3. Placed on the busiest buss in the shittyest area 4. Failing your refresher pretest and having to go to all the classes 5. Desk job 6. Desk job doing QA/QI of ACR’s 7. Billing reviewer 8. Fucking up and having your ass sued off 9. Losing your Cert. Too. 10. Medical Control!!!!!!!!
  6. #10. The patient never has to be helped into or out of bed, nor even undressed. #9. The patient doesn't have or need any I.V. lines, tubes, or monitor cables. #8. The patient doesn't need a footstool, to be pulled up in bed, or even have a siderail. #7. The patient never needs to be fed, and never needs to be bathed. #6. The patient never has an excessive number of visitors. #5. The patient never vomits, urinates, defecates, or expectorates. #4. The patient will get up cured at the end of 46 minutes, unless killed off in the first five minutes of the show to entice you into watching the remainder of the program. He will not need a wheelchair for discharge. #3. The patient rarely needs translator services arranged. #2. The patient never contradicts or denies to the doctor what I just reported the patient had said or done. #1 The patient does not have a callbell, does not call out "NURSE, !!!!", or demand that his unreasonable request be done because he was a physician in his old country.
  7. The Top Ten! Author Unknown 10. Bayberry scented ammonia capsules. 9. Replace foley lubricant with cranberry sauce. 8. Complimentary "makeover" with every 10th Kwell™ shower. 7. Tinsel decorations on CT scanner often mimics a subdural hematoma. 6. Holiday Special: 2 for 1 abscess drainage. 5. NARCAN™ FOR EVERYBODY!!! 4. Play "find the rock cocaine" body cavity search for the P.D. 3. Festive holiday decorations made from cut-off cock-rings. 2. Generous Christmas bonus from hospital administration, with a retail value of up to $10! 1. And new for 2002: Defibrillate me, Elmo!
  8. ok here is the deal I am moving to England but I dont no what to do about my EMT/FF certs and all please HELP lol thanks [/font:1e8fa14f2f]
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