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MidWestMedicWife

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    iamdeedra
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  • Location
    Indiana
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    God, my husband, my children, my family and my friends
  1. Hmmm.... that's a good question. From a family member I think there's been some positives and negatives I've noticed. Negatives *Sort of like the mechanic who doesn't work on his own car, I've seen that some times if one of our kids is hurt and it's not "life threatening" then the compassion isn't quite the same. *His sleep pattern is screwed up for his days off - which can sometimes make for him being a little snippy *Family members automatically assume he should have the answer to every medical problem they may be experiencing at any given moment. Positives *Our boys and I are so incredibly proud of him. The boys love to say, "Well, my dad saves lives!" *He's home after school for the kids while I'm working. *He usually has a pretty good "generic" answer to the family members! One other thing that I've really noticed is that I can't relate to what he feels when he's had a bad run. (Define "bad" however you interpret it.) I'm not always sure how he's feeling emotionally about what he's had to deal with. I let him talk and hopefully that helps. In turn, I know he's proud of me and what I do. But I sometimes don't think he understands the magnitude of some of the issues I deal with at work. No, I'm not saving lives, but my job is important for the company in which I work. My "bad" days in comparison would be like his days that if every run were BLS and every patient died. Or if the patient didn't die, he was darn close - and no one ever told you that he didn't. I know that's not a "fair" comparison per se, but it's the best I can do. It's a balancing act, for sure. I know for our family, it's been a good move. He's much happier than in his previous job. He knows and feels that he makes a difference every single day he works. Happiness goes a long way!
  2. Wow. I didn't even realize this post was still up! Lots has changed during the past year. He actually did make a bid and was awarded the 6a-6p day shift for 6 months. It was wonderful for me, but he HATED it. Lot of patient transfers to and from nursing homes, etc. The past 6 months he's been on nights again. This time, however, he is on 8p-8a. It's GREAT! He's home for the kids after school. He's home for dinner and until the kids are getting ready for bed. And he's likes the fact that the runs are more EMS related. He'll be on the 8p-8a for the next 6 months as well. It's been a great compromise that has worked well for our family!
  3. I guess I have misunderstood the forum basis here. I was under the impression it was for spouses of EMS; where we could possibly post some..and vent a little. It appears that I have come across as venting too much. I do appreciate what he does...the same as what all of you do. It's just new and takes a bit to get used to. I apologize if I offended anyone. This will be my last post as I don't want to come across as the nagging or complaining wife. Good luck and God Bless you all.
  4. Unfortunately, the way our ambulances work around here, they're at different 'posts' - not at a station. And there's really no telling where he'll be at the time. It's a nice thought though. I know, it's just another sacrifice that must be made. Some days are just more difficult than others.
  5. First, let me say that I am thankful for all of you who work holidays to make sure that no matter when it is, you are there to respond if we need you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! That being said...I get tired of my hubby working ALL the holidays! blah! Christmas Eve/Christmas Day...Easter...Mother's Day... Memorial Day...and now July 4th. It gets old feeling like a single parent these days. And it's not that he's volunteering for these shifts, they're just falling during his rotation. Still.. it bites! I'd like to be able to watch the fireworks tonight....with him and the kids. But it will just be me and the boys. Just makes me a bit sad at times.[/font:5053a20dcd]
  6. I truly appreciate the feedback from each of you. And yes, I know it could be much worse than what it is. Sometimes, I just need a place to vent...to let go of the frustrations so that I do NOT become angry or resentful. As a spouse new to this (after several years of him working M-F 8-5 type job) it does take some getting use to. Sometimes I feel as if I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I want him to be happy. He sacrificed his career of choice (Nat'l Park Ranger) nearly 10 years ago to move here and to be with me. And I always worried that he might become resentful of that. So when he decided to become a paramedic, I was all for it! I wanted to make sure he knew that I supported him in what he was doing. I wish I had been prepared for the other things that come with that choice. Communication is a vital part of any relationship. And we are striving to keep those lines open. We're trying to have 'date' nights - but sometimes life gets in the way... (his job...my job...my church stuff... our kids' schedules, etc.) But we both do realize the importance of making the time for one another. It's something we weren't doing for a while - and realized that it was a critical piece of the puzzle that we were missing. I can keep my fingers crossed that one day he'll choose days (and the opportunity will be there for him as well) and things can get back to a semi-normal routine. Thanks again!
  7. So I've decided that I officially HATE the night shift. My husband's two-week rotation goes like this: M - 6p - 6a T - 6p - 6a W - off Th - off F - 6p - 6a S - 6p - 6a S - 6p - 6a M - off T - off W - 6p - 6a Th - 6p - 6a F, S, S - off So, although he does have every-other weekend off and he gets to spend a bit more time with the boys, I miss him terribly in the evenings that he's gone. I think it finally hit me last night that after the quiet sets in that all I really want is for him to be there with me. I know he loves the night shift - different runs - not as many transports, etc. But I really REALLY wish he was on the day shift. He says that if he were on days he's not have as much time with the boys - which is true, I guess. But he'd have almost as much time as I do. I don't get off until 5pm. By the time I get the boys picked up and home, it's close to 6pm. Not much different than the time I have with them. But he'd be here with me as well. I support his change in career. He truly is happier in serving than in the business world. From what I can see and hear from others he's a very good medic. (I never doubted he would be - he's amazingly smart and does well in crisis.) I guess I just didn't realize the effect this choice would have on me. I don't mean to sound selfish, because I know he's out there doing things that are so under appreciated that it's not even funny. I just wish he was on a different shift. I miss him.
  8. Very true indeed. And communication and trust are what help you get through the rough times.
  9. It's not the hours you spend working with her. You've had other female partners that I did not mind. It's the other things that we have discussed. I am not unreasonable and I had no problem in the beginning with you working with her. It's what has happened since that makes it difficult; beyond the rumor (which I do not believe) that circulated through your work. What is jealousy anyway? Google can give some amazing answers at time: Jealousy *Jealousy is an emotion experienced by one who perceives that another person is giving something that s/he wants (typically attention, love, or affection) to a third party. For example, a child will likely become jealous when her parent gives sweets to a sibling but not to her. While the child's jealousy might be assuaged if she also received candy from the parent, such is typically not the case for a jealous lover, who wants the beloved to give some kinds of attention exclusively to him. *On an interpersonal level it is a felt threat from an outsider to an important relationship in which one is involved and produces feelings of anger and fear. I understand co-ed trucks. More and more women are entering the EMS world. And I say Kudos to them! In reading some of the posts here, it's obvious that the stress and/or adrenaline related to these jobs do make people more vulnerable to becoming intimate (do not confuse with sexual) with their partner. The attachment that one has to their co-worker can be harmful to both their home life and their job. Perception is a picture that someone paints. A picture is worth a thousand words.
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