the call still bothers me. first shift ever as an EMT, first call - suicide. PD had to force the door, guy lying prone, barely breathing, etc. we worked him until the ED. the crew chief wanted me to watch what the ER docs did to him. I also read the note he left. apparently wife left him, kids left for college and he felt he had nothing to live for. He took two bottles of pills and waited to die. Not sure how we got the call (who called 911). he lived. not sure what kind of life he had afterward. that was 12 years ago. i remember it like yesterday.
I write in a journal to try to purge my memories. its like closing the book on a call. i know it doesn't work for everyone and I'm sure some psychologist out there probably thinks I'm nuts for doing it, but its my way to achieve "closure". if i don't write this stuff down, it eats at me, even after CISD and talking to every tom, dick and harry. writing seems to be the only thing that works for me. i'm glad i found it early in my career.
like i said, hope this helps. i'd be happy to pass on any of my entries. they are very detailed.