S_Stringer

Just wanted to let you all know that since my last post in 2010, I voluntarily surrendered my EMT-B cert in NJ due to my felony charge of theft incurred during my addiction to opiates. I'm probably damning myself by posting this, but since May of 2010 I had detoxed from all opiates, prescription and otherwise, gone through rehab and have remained substance free. My probation ends in November of 2012 and I hope to recertify as EMT-B.....though not necessarily working on a paid ambulance would still like to work in some capacity in search and rescue. Although my addiction to opiates began through a viable medical need, my body developed a greater need for the substance to quell the pain over the period of 15 plus years, and the addiction, when recognized, was far too great for me to handle on my own, took over my life, destroyed it....or, at least I let it. I finally had enough and decided to do something about it, but it took a stupid choice and some jail time and relapse to make me really see what I had to. It also took some hard punches from some of you guys to wake me up too. Thanks. Susan

Actually, no. I have no problem blurting out what I did, because I am truthful to a fault about it....I normally tell my potential employer even before I fill out the paperwork, which appears to be why I'm not getting hired, even at coffee shops. I said it that way because people tend to be judgmental, just as you appear to be right now, or it could be because you are not reading between the lines. Thanks, Rich.... I don't hide what I did. I have actually gone to people and flat out said, "I have to tell you that I went to County Jail for four months because I stole from someone. I am currently on Probation, and I am paying restitution back to the person I stole from. I am ashamed for what I did. I'm just looking for a chance to prove that I'm not that same person. I am reliable, punctual to a fault, and strive to be the best at what I'm supposed to do. You won't regret hiring me....all I need is that chance. Thanks." I was asking if anyone does NOT do backround checks out of frustration. Thanks for your input. I appreciate your help. Many hugs and much love. Thanks.

Congrats, Wendy! And let me tell you, I LOVE your sense of humor.....that in itself will carry you through a lot. Again, congratulations!

Hey, seriously...congrads on your training as a medic....I know it's not easy, I've been there. Regarding EMT-B...if you join an outfit like AMR, you not only get to drive an ambulance but actually get the opportunity to access and TREAT sick people. Sure, they do their share of medicare/medicaid patient/doctor/hospital runs, but they also do real street EMS. Not all private ambulance services are created egual....good luck. You'll be fine.

You know something? You have been the only one so far, anywhere, not only on this forum, who has given me a reason to actually believe in myself again. When I first got out of jail, I found a job working for a company called Pathology Solutions. The woman who hired me said she couldn't believe how bright I was and how quickly I caught on to my duties...because I honestly never did accessioning pathology specimens before. Three weeks later, suddenly, I received a phone call after I returned home at the end of my shift and was told that I was in my probationary period and they decided they had to let me go because I made too many mistakes. I found out shortly thereafter that they received my backround check and that appeared to be the only reason they let me go. They didn't even fight me on receiving unemployment. I rented an apartment and decided it was better not to mention I had been in jail or had been in any kind of legal trouble to my landlord. I have always done the right thing by her, and two months ago I slipped and told her I had been in jail and was having trouble finding employment, that I was so frustrated because after I lost my job with Pathology Solutions I did everything I could to get hired by somebody, anybody. I placed my resume all over the place online, and received a phone call from a recruiting agency for a laboratory for a phlebotomy position (yes, I am a nationally certified phlebotomy technologist), but I was stupid and was open about my crime, because they sent me paperwork and on it was the necessary backround check form....and they didn't pursue hiring me, when just prior to that they couldn't get me to sign up fast enough. I have pretty much decided that I'm not going to find gainful employment doing much of anything unless I want to pump gas....even FoodTown does a check on your past. Now I understand why the Monmouth County Jail seems to have a revolving door for those that pass through. The funny thing is, and I really got a good laugh out of this: I told the Prosecutor that I was willing to pay back restitution for my crime. The Judge, when I went before her, said I was to be placed on three years probation and pay back restitution. She didn't feel I would be out of jail very long. This is my first offense at doing ANYTHING wrong ever in my lifetime other than running away from home as a teen. When I went to my first meeting with my initial probation officer who did my intake, I was advised that I was ordered to pay restitution in the amount of 1200 dollars each month. She looked at me, and said, "I don't know......even if you were working a full time job, you would never....Hell, I would never, be able to pay that, pay rent, utilities, for food and general expenses." If I didn't pay I would be in violation of probation, be arrested again, and spend the rest of my sentence in prison. I was assigned a regular probation officer and she worked with me and now I am paying $100 each month. I have not skipped any payments. So you see.....clearly the system works against anyone who commits a crime, no matter what it is. People have a mindset that "Once a criminal, always a criminal" and, "Wow. She did THAT? I shouldn't even trust her enough to hire her...." My youngest daughter, Ashley, just before she turned 21, and just before I got arrested and went to jail six days before her 21st birthday...decided that she wanted to follow in my footsteps and become an EMT. She never understood why, after being forced to resign the Paramedic program (Asso. Degree in Paramedics run back in 1993 through UMDNJ and Essex County College) just shy of completing the program because my employer at a hospital wouldn't change my shift so I could finish my final clinical requirements in the Psych unit at Helene Fuld and my Pediatric clinical requirements and the final 300 hours MICU riding time...she couldn't understand why I didn't go back. She idolized me.....she saw me in action, and I told her several weeks after I started using heroin, that I was on that drug. It crushed her. I had lost the job I had with a private ambulance company in the middle of April 2009 because I had traces of the morphine and percocet the doctor had prescribed for me in my urine when I was given a random drug test. I had told the previous HR person at our company that I had been in pain management and provided the prescriptions and she knew the quality of my work....and never had a problem with me.....but, the new HR person and I locked horns right from the beginning. I had been with the company for almost 6 years. It was after I lost my job that everything went down with my meds being stolen, and my rapid spiral downward into the world of heroin use. So it was that I told her I was using heroin. She saw me with a "soldier" who was sent to protect my butt when I was doing the running for my landlord (HR, remember?)...and she was frightened that something would happen to me. I looked her straight in the eye and told her.....not to worry.....but I knew deep inside that I wanted to destroy myself....because in my eyes I had become dirt. Anyway.....these days I know I'm not dirt.....I want to prove that I am the same person who did street EMS in the Oranges, who went the extra mile to do the right thing......hell, I'm BETTER for the experience I had.....because I know I could beat the odds....if I had the chance to be a productive member of the community, if I could be a productive member of the society..... Thanks for your words.....you, so far, have been the only one that shows there is still someone out there who BELIEVES that something good and worthwhile can come out of someone who had done something they did time for. Thanks for having faith. Hey Snoopy. I am going to give it my best shot. I don't give up. I gave up on myself when I gave in to addiction and I gave in to that one crime I did....I'll regret it the rest of my life.....but sometimes we become stronger after we face our weaknesses head on. These days I attend something called Project Free, and I go to Narcotics Anonymous Meetings. When you face yourself, you find out things about yourself that, well, make you want to buckle at times....but you get an inner strength when you face your demons....I'm going to do my best to get a job....I have no doubts in my abilities.....I mean, I was a female EMT doing my thing in the early 90's, proving that I could be just as good as any male EMT....I can do it....I just need to...sell my abilities so it outshines the wrong that I did. Wish me luck.

I would imagine so. I wasn't convicted on a drug charge. I was convicted on a felony theft. I am in Recovery, as I said, and do not have any desire whatsoever to go back to that lifestyle. I made a bad mistake and allowed myself to be influenced and follow others down a dark path. We don't all repeat our mistakes. I was an excellent EMT and loved what I did. Is it right to be condemned for the rest of my existence because I did something wrong, or is that the way it is in a democratic society? I have learned in the county jail that there is no such thing as being innocent until proven guilty.....and you are treated like an animal rather than a human being. I have fallen from grace. Is there no chance to redeem myself and climb back up? I was not convicted on a drug conviction. I was convicted on the charge of a felony theft. That was last year. I do not wish to join a fire company. I have been an EMT in good standing and never did anything against the law in my 52 years of existence until that happened last year. As I said, I fell from grace. I am no longer using. I am clean. I do not wish to be condemned by my peers the rest of my life....I did wrong and I realize it. But the sad state of addiction is that, when you are in the midst of it, you are not who you used to be. I am not that person any longer.

Hi, everyone. My name's Susan, and I've been an EMT in NJ and NY for some 19 years. For 16 of those years I was prescribed medication for pain management because of an injury to my cervical spine due to an ambulance accident that occured in 1993. Without the medication (narcotic pain medication) I would never have been able to continue being a productive member of, not only the EMS community, but of Society as well. I was wracked with almost daily blinding and nauseating migraines and neck pain that clustered, often for up to two weeks at a time without breaking. I had procedures done, nerves destroyed on purpose to ease the agony, but they were only temporary fixes. I wasn't able to take many medications due to adverse reactions and allergies ( would you believe Decadron and Prednisone cause me to break out in severe hives?) and the pain causes my blood pressure to skyrocket. I am already normally hypertensive and take a beta-blocker daily to keep it under control. I had also taken any new non-narcotic medication that became available, as well as anti-seizure meds and ergotomines mixed with caffeine to avoid taking narcotic meds, and nothing, absolutely NOTHING gave me any measure of relief. Because one's tolerance to opiates increase over time, I began to take more and more of the narcotics prescribed to me in order to get relief from the pain, never to get high. I would do my best to abstain from using my medication when I was on duty, but there was never any guaratee that I would be able to get through a shift without the monster pain overcoming me. Finally I approached a physician in the field of Pain Management rather than Neurology because, when you go through 120 vicodin in less than a week, THAT is really alarming, and I admitted to myself that my body had a dependence on the drug. This doctor said that I had acquired a "quasi-addiction" to the vicodin, and I was prescribed fentanyl patches at 75 mcg per hour! I broke out in a rash from the patch, although I changed the site every time I changed the patch ( I also told him I could not work with the medication being titrated into my body through the skin because it made me extremely groggy), so he put me on a daily regimen of time-released morphine tablets and percocet for breakthrough pain. This worked well. At the same time I was going through major problems in my home life. My marriage was failing and one of the things my husband delighted in doing was driving a wedge between my teenage daughter and myself by creating a situation, creating distance between my normally close relationship with her so she would side with him, and then he would tell me my daughter was disrespectful to him or was doing this or that in an attempt to get me to side with him against her. It was an impossible time and my daughter became anorexic and distant. I finally had reached a breaking point and told him I saw through him and it was over. Ashley and I moved out and into a small apartment. Eventually I became financially drained and we faced eviction. My daughter turned 20 and I told her it was best that we moved into separate residences. I was terribly stressed out and we were both very tense and I felt the only way she would grow was if I forced her to live on her own and become responsible. I was offered an opportunity to rent the back bedroom and adjoining full bathroom through the friend of a friend and I jumped on it. I had full use of the kitchen as well. The rent was extremely affordable. My daughter moved into a rooming house in Ocean Grove. I saw light at the end of a dark tunnel at last. I came home one day and was told that my "landlord" came home to find a strange man in her house. He had wandered in to her Living Room from my apartment. I didn't know anyone and certainly didn't give anyone permission to enter my apartment ( I had a separate entrance which I kept locked at all times) so I thought this was odd. I had also just found out from the friend that told me about the place that my "landlord", who I'll refer to here on in as "HR", was a recovering addict, and had used heroin for some 25 years. I immediately went through my things, and found, lo and behold, that my medication was missing. Now....you know that morphine and percocet, as well as any opiate, when taken on a daily basis, will cause the body to have a physical dependence on it. Your body knows when it's not available anymore, and lack of it causes the body to go through withdrawal. In pain management you sign an agreement, a contract, with the treating physician stating that you will not abuse the medication, and the medication is prescribed on a monthly basis with no refills. I was 15 days shy of my next appointment. I panicked. I called the doctor and explained what had happened and he found me in violation of the agreement....and booted me from the program. He gave me a few fentanyl patches in decreasing doses ( a two-week supply)...I hid these. I said to myself....okay....I have to find another doctor and another plan of attack on my pain issue. Well, you guessed it. The patches ended up missing. I confronted HR and under pressure she admitted that she stole these from me. So, two days into the withdrawal process she approached me and said, " I'm going to call my connection and get some "D". I know you're feeling like crap...do you want me to get you some?" Now, when you go through withdrawal you feel like you want to crawl out of your skin. Your belly hurts, your intestines are in serious rebellion, and you can't stop vomitting. My brain said, "It's an opiate, just do tiny increments every so many hours, it's just a temporary thing, no problem." And there you go. I climbed aboard the Heroin express. Something which, in my right mind, I would NEVER have done. The temporary one or two day thing turned into a six-week nightmare, and I went from 1/4 of a crystaline bag a day to 6 bags a day. A week later I found myself acting as the runner between her and her connection. I got payment from her in the way of a given number of "bags" of heroin out of each bundle she purchased. I wound up stealing from HR, and went to jail for felony theft. If I didn't go to county jail I'd most likely be dead by now, either because of the "gangsta' types I hung with or because of the drug. I do not miss the drug or the lifestyle. I no longer use. I am now in Recovery. I am searching for a job. Yes, I still have my certification and a valid CPR card, but with a felony on my record I doubt I'll get hired as an EMT. I need to show that I'm the responsible person I used to be. What I want to ask is: Do all private ambulance companies in Northern and Southern NJ do backround checks? I have no problem with random drug testing, I do that now on a weekly basis. I am searching for gainful employment doing what I did best....or even, just doing ANYTHING right now would be great, because my lease is up on June 15th, and I have to find a place to live in or someone willing to have a room-mate like me. I am currently on Unemployment.