jouleman

Thanks for all the kind words. It is very encouraging to know that there are still genuine caring people around. I have since been able to talk with a few people at work, and have had positive outcomes from those conversations. I was also able to go by the responding fire station and talk at length about the call with them. I feel better today, and they all felt better being able to share there feelings as well. My partner and I have also been able to talk and share our feelings about it too. Neither of us had ever had to go through that before. It was very sad. Anyway, I am very appreciative of the replies and advice expressed by you all. I am glad I found this site, and will return often. I am sure with the right attitude one can overcome anything. I was in a rut of more bad than good happening at work, and found an outlet for it here. That call was the icing on the cake at the time. I work in a very high volume system, and it is easy to get passive about a lot of calls and patients encountered. This job has its highs and lows, I just get tired of the lows sometimes. Thanks again for your shoulders. Take care of yourselves as well.

I FOUND THIS SITE AFTER LOOKING AT NUMEROUS OTHERS. I AM WONDERING IF THERE IS ANYONE HERE FINDING THEMSELVES IN THE SAME BOAT. I AM A PARAMEDIC.....17 YEARS ACUTALLY. I HAVE BEEN IN EMS FOR 23 YEARS, YEAH THAT IS A LONG TIME. I AM FINALLY GETTING TIRED OF BEING TIRED. I HATE GETTING UP AT NIGHT. I HATE THE 24'S BUT CAN'T SURVIVE THE 8'S AND 12'S MONEY WISE. I AM AT WORK NOW. I HAVE READ ABOUT SOME EMOTION STIRRING CALLS HERE. I HAD THE SADDEST CALL OF MY CAREER THREE DAYS AGO. IT WAS AN 18 Y/O G-3 P-2 WHO CALLS EMS AFTER BEING IN "LABOR" FOR 6 1/2 HRS. SHE THOUGHT IT WAS BRAXTON HICKS UNTIL SHE DELIVERS A 20 WEEK GESTATION FETUS ON THE LIVING ROOM FLOOR. WE ARRIVE AND WALK INTO THIS SCENARIO. THE FATHER IS ON ALL FOURS WITH HIS HAND UNDER THIS DEAD BABY, WHILE STROKING ITS HEAD AND CHEST ALTERNATELY WITH THE OTHER. HOLY SHIT! WE COULD DO NOTHING FOR THE BABY OBVIOUSLY, SO WE ADDRESS THE MOTHER. THE PLACENTA HAD ALREADY DELIVERED AND STILL ATTACHED TO BABY. WE PUT THE BABY IN A BLANKET AND INTO A BASIN IN OUR PRECIP KIT. ATTEMPTED TO CONSOLE THE FATHER , WHILE PUTTING MOM ON COT, O2, IV ETC. AND TRANSPORT. ME, MY PARTNER AND THE ENGINE CREW THAT RESPONDED WERE ALL IN A SHOCKED AND SAD STATE. WE FINISHED THE CALL, WENT BACK AND WATCHED AN HOUR OF ACE VENTURA (THANK GOD SOMETHING FUNNY WAS ON) AND THEN HIT THE SACK. I HAVE CRIED TWICE SINCE THIS CALL. IT WAS THE SADDEST THING SEEING THAT FATHER LIKE THAT. I HAVE NOT HAD A CALL IMPACT ME LIKE THIS THAT I CAN REMEMBER. I'VE WORKED INJURED KIDS, PED CODES ETC. I HAVE SEEN ALOT OF TERRIBLE THINGS IN 23 YEARS, PUSHED THEM INTO THAT HOLE WE ALL HAVE, WORN THE PROTECTIVE ARMOR. I AM BEGINNING TO GET TIRED OF SEEING IT. I GUESS I MAY BE VENTING HERE, BUT I KNOW I AM GETTING TIRED OF DOING THIS JOB. FROM THE ABUSIVE, THE FREQUENT FLIERS, THE DRUNKS, AND GENERAL REPEAT CALLS AND BULLSHIT. IF YOU HAVE DONE THIS A WHILE YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. I DON'T MEAN TO CONVEY ANY NEGATIVITY, JUST REACHING OUT TO SEE WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS ABOUT THIS OR HAS ANYTHING TO OFFER.........THANKS