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a918emt

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  1. a few co workers made this up one night... SAMPLE Summons Ambulance My Prescription Lapsed Early
  2. personally just 1 in 3 years as an E, working with a medic and fire based ems (6 people on every ems scene).
  3. AGAIN... haven't read the entire post but ditto here. People here have got fired for technical reasons but people that steal drugs, lie, and are incompetent keep their jobs. Personal experience. My better half got fired for driving infractions. 1. hit a construction cone going code 3 and popped a side mirror out of the frame 2. hit a pickup truck tool box that fell off of a truck, and was in the middle of an unlit road in the middle of the night 3. hit a school sign in middle of road (no damage) *admits this one was his fault* 4. a dispatcher called our supervisor on her way to work saying she "thought" he was driving too fast on the freeway with flashing lights periodically to move people (city gps said he was going what was legal - our gps said he was anywhere from 12 to 25 over, really reliant!) and the dispatcher also works as a emt in a rural area where 20 over for BS calls is understating speeds! Then we have the others, a medic whom I have personally seen use asthma meds out of the drug box and has never been disciplined, lies continuously, makes false accusations continuously about others ie writing FIRS to management about BS and is an extremely incompetent medic but yet they still have a job. I do appreciate our union and what they do try to do. But in most cases its not something you could not have done yourself. I have no idea wether they vigorously defended my better half or not because he was never informed of anything after he was suspended from driving. They allowed him to continue to work for 4 months without driving status then out of the blue got fired for being a "liability" (self insured service). Not once did the union inform him of what was going on nor was he ever privy to any meetings he was the subject of - which to me was BS. OK done with rant.... (not in a good mood to begin with lol) Just my opinion on unions...............
  4. I haven't read the entire thread yet... but I think this is norm for any private company mines included..... one of my favorite quotes at work which others have adopted as one is: Love the job, hate the politics/company.
  5. The ambo service I work for has one - with a I believe 2 year contract to work for them afterward.
  6. Well, here is the real kicker - thought I'd let you all soak it in before the political stuff was thrown in The guy that now owns the ambo service taking over *used* to own the ambo service that has served the city for 15ish years. He sold it off. He has said he was going to take the sold service down and has the political ties to do it. And is..... piece by piece. Political and union ties - his partner was an ex union big wig and has been accused of but never convicted of for personal profit dealings. The New Times in the phx area has a lot of articles about it..... Not into politics. Just wanna do my job. Politics is killing it tho. :violent1:
  7. This is not my city, nor my ambulance company. I work in a sister city and for the company that currently holds the contract....
  8. This is a copy of an RFP (public venue) that was sent to DHS for approval. We heard last night it was not approved - but has not been verified yet. Most in the private sector cringe at this stuff - paying fire depts to do a job they are allready being paid for. Don't get me wrong, love our fire crews hate the politics. http://www.tempe.gov/PublicBodies/Docs/Cou...80207fslg04.pdf
  9. The First Law of EMS: All emergency calls will wait until you begin to eat, without regard to the time. Corollary 1: Fewer accidents would occur if EMS personnel would never eat. Corollary 2: Always order food "to go". The Law of Time: 1. There is absolutely no relationship between the time at which you are supposed to get off shift and the time at which you will get off shift. 2. Given the following equation: T + 1 Minute = Relief Time, "T" will always be the time of the last call of your shift. E.g., If you are supposed to get off shift at 08:00, your last run will come in at 07:59. (Or if you have early relief coming in you will see you relief sitting at the first stop light from the station, waving!) The Law of Gravity: Any instrument, when dropped, will always come to rest in the least accessible place possible. The Law of Time Versus Distance: The distance of the call from the Hospital increases as the time to shift change decreases. Corollary 1: The shortest distance between the station and the scene is under construction. The Rule of Random Syncronicity: Emergency calls will randomly come in all at once. The Law of Respiratory Arrest: All patients who are vomiting and must be intubated will have just completed a large meal of Barbecue and Onions, Garlic Pizza, and Pickled Herring, all of which was washed down with at least three cans of Beer. The Basic Principle for Dispatchers: Assume that all field personnel are idiots until their actions prove your assumption. The Basic Principle for Field Personnel: Assume that all dispatchers are idiots until their actions prove your assumption. The Axiom of Late Night Runs: If you respond to any Motor Vehicle Accident call after Midnight and do not find a drunk on the scene, keep looking: somebody is still missing. The Law of Options: Any patient, when given the option of either going to Jail or going to the Hospital by a Police Officer, will always be inside the Ambulance before you are. Corollary 1: Any patient who chooses to go to Jail instead of the Hospital has probably been in my rig in the past. The First Rule of Equipment: Any piece of Life-saving Equipment will never malfunction or fail until: a)You need it to save a life, or b)The salesman leaves. The Other Rules of Equipment: * Interchangeable parts don't * Leak proof seals will * Self-starters won't. The First Law of Ambulance Operation: No matter how fast you drive the Ambulance when responding to a call, it will never be fast enough, until you pass a Police Cruiser, at which point it will be entirely too fast. Unless you are responding to an"Officer Down" call then it is physically impossible to be travelling fast enough! EMS Bathroom Rules: * If a call is received between 0500 and 0700, the location of the call will always be in a Bathroom. * If you have just gone to the Bathroom, no call will be received. * If you have not just gone to the Bathroom, you will soon regret it. * The probability of receiving a run increases proportionally to the time elapsed since last going to the Bathroom. General Principles Concerning Dispatchers: Given the opportunity, any Dispatcher will be only too happy to tell you where to go, regardless of whether or not (s)he actually knows where that may be. Corollary 1: The existence or non-existence of any given location is of only minor importance to a Dispatcher Corollary 2: Any street designated as a Cross-street" by a Dispatcher probably isn't. Corollary 3: If a street name can be mispronounced, a Dispatcher will mispronounce it. Corollary 4: If a street name cannot be mispronounced, a Dispatcher will mispronounce it anyway. Corollary 5: A Dispatcher will always refer to a given location in the most obscure manner as possible. E.g., "Stumpy Brown's Cabbage Field" is now covered by a shopping center. The Law of Triage: In any accident, the degree of injury suffered by a patient is inversely proportional to the amount and volume of agonized screaming produced by that patient. The Gross Injury Law: Any injury, the sight of which makes you want to puke, should immediately be covered by 4x4's and Kerlix. The Supervisor Equation: Given the equation: X +Y = Q Q = Quality of Care X = the care that you render Y = the assistance supplied by any Supervisor. If you can eliminate Y from the equation, the Quality of Care will improve by X². Corollary 1: Generally, Field Supervisors have no business in the Field. Corollary 2: The level of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level of management. Corollary 3: Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand. The Law of Protocol Language: The simplest Protocol Directive will be worded in the most obscure and complicated manner possible. Speeds, for example, will be expressed as "Furlongs per Fortnight" and flow rates as "Hogsheads per Hour". Corollary 1: If you don't understand it, it must be intuitively obvious. Corollary 2: If you can understand it, you probably don't. The Law of EMS Educators: Those who can't do, teach. The Law of EMS Evaluators: Those who can't do or teach, evaluate. The Law of Light: As the seriousness of any given injury increases, the availability of light to examine that injury decreases. The Law of Space: The amount of space which is needed to work on a patient varies inversely with the amount of space which is available to work on that patient. EMS Relativity: The number of distraught and uncooperative relatives surrounding any given patient varies exponentially with the seriousness of the patient's illness or injury. The Theory of Weight: The weight of the patient that you are about to transport increases exponentially by the number of floors which must be ascended to reach the patient and the number of floors which must be descended while carrying the patient. Corollary 1: Very heavy patients tend to gravitate toward locations which are furthest from mean sea level. Corollary 2: If the patient is heavy, the elevator is broken, and the lights in the stairwell are out. The Laws of Non-Transport: 1. A Life-or-Death situation will immediately be created by driving away from the home of patient who has just thrown you out of their house. 2. The seriousness of this situation will increase as the date of your trial approaches. 3. By the time your ex-patient reaches the witness stand, the Jury will wonder how patient in such terrible condition could have possibly walked to the door and greeted you with a large suitcase in each hand. The First Rule of Bystanders Any bystander who offers you help will give you none. The Second Rule of Bystanders: Always assume that any Physician found at the scene of an emergency is a Gynecologist, until proven otherwise. (Unless the emergency is obstetrical in nature, then the bystander will be a Dermatologist.) The Rule of Warning Devices Any Ambulance, whether it is responding to a call or traveling to a Hospital, with Lights and Siren, will be totally ignored by all motorists, pedestrians, and dogs which may be found in or near the roads along its route. Corollary 1: Ambulance Sirens can cause acute and total, but transient, deafness. Corollary 2: Ambulance Lights can cause acute and total, but transient, blindness. note: This Rule does not apply in California, where all pedestrians and motorists are apparently oblivious to any and all traffic laws. The Law of Show and Tell A virtually infinite number of wide-eyed and inquisitive school-aged children can climb into the back of any Ambulance, and, given the opportunity, invariably will. Corollary 1: No emergency run will come in until they are all inside the Ambulance and playing with the equipment. Corollary 2: It will take at least four times as long to get them all out as it took to get them in. Corollary 3: A vital piece of equipment will be missing. The Rule of Rookies The true value of any Rookie, when expressed numerically, will always be a negative number. The value of this number may be found by simply having the rookie grade his or her ability on a scale from 1 to 10. Medical skill: 1 = Certified Health Hazard, 10 =Johnny and Roy. Driving ability: 1 = Obstruction to Navigation, 10 = Mario Andretti. The true value of the rookie is then found by simply negating the Rookie's self-assigned value. Corollary 1: Treat any Rookie assigned to your Unit as you would a Bystander. (See The First Rule of Bystanders, above.) Corollary 2: We were all rookies once upon a time.... The Law of Rules: As soon as an EMS Rule is accepted as absolute, an exception to that Rule will immediately occur. PS - Murphy was an optimist! We in EMS are a buch of commited people, not just involved but commited. The difference between involved and commited, in a ham and egg breakfast the chicken is involved but the pig is commited.
  10. Not in our area, more whites, makes more white pts. Color doesn't make a difference. Most our 'whiners' ie 10/10 for stubbed toe are just full blown cases of manginaitis (man-<va>gina-itis). I swear the white men are the worst with white women coming in second for "i'm dying" pain flopping around on the gurney like a fish out of water when they are bp120/80 p80 etc........
  11. It is per say public knowledge but the key is the public doesn't know, or care - if that makes sense. One city (not the one I work in) we actually pay to have their FF medics ride in the back with an emt driver from us, we stay in their fire stations, supply them with rescues and then pay them rent. Needless to say when their FF medics started to ride in the ambo with the pts the bs transports are almost nill and they rarely go beyond closest hospital. Yet when we had our medics on the rides the question was never, do you want to go to the hospital - it was what hospital do you want to go to. Which encourages those I threw up twice perfectly healthy 20 something year olds that want the magic make me better pill people to keep tying up emergency vehicles. (standing 24's are common in my area). Which sometimes end up in 40 mile transports. As most of us cringe when they say that - my medic always mumbles "we? you got a mouse in your pocket because I sure in f**k know you aren't going to ride in" ](*,) I know I need to start looking at a new area/city/state. Right now it's not do-able for me but in the future who knows. My medic has 18 years in the field, has worked in cal, tx, and a few other states and daily goes on a tirade about the way things are run here. He is moving back to texas this fall and states daily how backwards our system is. He still does his job, does it well. One city did go to city run ambo's but we hear now they are looking to get out of it and go back to the private system. And the ones that want to go to city run ambos are going to find the people they spoiled for years for non emergency transports (I'm just not feeling right so I want you to take me in but my 10 family members standing here with the 8 cars out front that 4 of which will follow you) I ran out of my pain meds, etc are going to run them into the ground.
  12. I totally agree with you on the idiotic part! And yea they are getting paid double - by the tax payers and us! No wonder the pay sucks and pizza delivery guys/gals make more. One emt quit after getting a part time job delivering pizzas and figured out they could make more doing that LOL! Don't get me wrong - I love my job, the people I work with, the fire crews. Its just frustrating when I can't get supplies and getting paid so little when I know how much money rolls out every day for things that are allready being paid for. :shock:
  13. Not yankin your chain! All our ambo's in most of the cities are staffed with an emt-d and a medic. The emt always drives and the medic always rides in the back. If medic needs help fire "rides in" ie 1-3 FF's jump in the back to help and the rest follow in the engine. Fire has medical control until they deem it ok to hand pt care over to us. Like I said most are cool around my area but some take it way too far.
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