Jump to content

TylerHastings

Members
  • Content Count

    218
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    6

Blog Entries posted by TylerHastings

  1. TylerHastings
    I saw this on Charlie Daniels myspace page a little earlier and for those of you who arent really sure who Charlie is well he is a damn good american and a damn good musician. Anyway he has recently been publishing his thoughts on the political turmoil and in his words lack of patriotism going on in this country. The title of this blog was Wusses on the left of me and P****** on the right of me (censored if ya want the real title email me or pm me) anyway I have to say that I live in an area that is close to a Naval Base and well...most of my best friends are military and there parents were/are military and you know what those of us in America couldn't do have the shit that we do right now if it wasnt for the military. So my theory is that be you for it or against it you really should support this military of ours seeing as they are the ones who allow you to say what you say.

    Now onto more parts of this blog post. I am a child who was just prior to the gray area of morals and the I grew up to "Remember the Alamo" and you know what I havent forgotten how it felt that day, and I will always remember where I was when the world stopped turning. It seems to me that some people have including our illustrious Commander in Chief.(more on that in a second). I remember the 343 that died that day and they were american heroes. I remember that first hand. I remember learning about JFK. I remember reading about the great things that FDR did including mobilizing a country for war. I remember reading about the decision that Harry Truman had to make as to wether the Atomic bomb should be used or not used. What would have happened if he had decided to not use it how would the war have changed? These are indeed heroes of our country and yet there are more before the days of Davy Crockett before the days of Abraham Lincoln. American history is littered with great decision makers. Now I will probably be called a racist for this but I am gonna bring this up anyway....not to mention this a slightly hot topic. If we have a crisis the likes of these that I have just mentioned how is Barack Obama going to cope with it, I mean with all due respect to him he is a commander in chief who has never even been in the military let alone commanded anyone. Can he handle the stresses of sending people off to war or are we going to just cower in fear. With people like Nancy Pelosi giving POTUS his marching orders I fear we may or even worse we may even bow down to them. I mean after all Obama has already bowed down and kissed the queens hand.

    Anyway this is just the beginning of this series I need ot go to bed it will be continued in the days to come.....


    Tyler
  2. TylerHastings
    I did not write this:

    Dear Citizens of America,
    In view of your failure to maintain something as simple as an economy, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

    Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy), as from Monday next.
    Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
    To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
    1. You should look up “revocation” in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up “aluminium,” and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
    2. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour’, ‘favour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix “ize” will be replaced by the suffix “ise.”
    3. You will learn that the suffix ‘burgh’ is pronounced ‘burra’; you may elect to spell Pittsburgh as ‘Pittsberg’ if you find you simply can’t cope with correct pronunciation.
    4. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels (look up “vocabulary”). Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as “like” and “you know” is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.
    5. There is no such thing as “US English.” We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter ‘u’ and the elimination of “-ize.”
    6. You will relearn your original national anthem, “God Save The Queen”,
    but only after fully carrying out Task #1 (see above).
    7. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. November 2nd will
    be a new national holiday, but to be celebrated only in England. It will be called “Come-Uppance Day.”
    8. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you’re not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun.
    9. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
    10. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
    11. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric immediately and without the benefit of conversion tables… Both roundabouts and metrification will help you understand the British sense of humour.
    12. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling “gasoline”) - roughly $8/US per gallon. Get used to it.
    13. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call french fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called “crisps.”; Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with malt vinegar.
    14. Waiters and waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.
    15. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as “beer,” and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as “Lager.” American brands will be referred to as “Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine,” so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
    16. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors as English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in “Four Weddings and a Funeral” was an experience akin to having one’s ear removed with a cheese grater.
    17. You will cease playing American “football.” There is only one kind of proper football; you call it “soccer”. Those of you brave enough, in time, will be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American “football”, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a
    bunch of Jessies - English slang for “Big Girls Blouse”).
    18. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the “World Series” for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable and forgiven. 19. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.
    20. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due, backdated to 1776.

    Thank you for your co-operation.

    -John Cleese


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


    I will post my thoughts on this later but right now I am busy doing other things...
×
×
  • Create New...