Alcomedicism

I gots a 1969 Mustang fastback, creme colored, big block engine, sitting in my front yard I dont drive as the engine in it is currently blown. So damn powerful it broke the bolts that held it to the frame. -Dixie

But is the gaurdian acting in the best interest of the patient?? She has not had a CAT scan, her husband refuses to allow her to have CAT scan. So w/o that tool, how do we get a clear diagnosis that Terri Schiavo is in fact not competent? I say they should have her go in for CAT scan and stimulate her brain. If it comes back positive that she is indeed understanding what is going on around her then she should be given the opportunity to speak for herself by any means possible before her family, husband, DR. and a Judge. If she communicates that she wishes to die then have her die a dignified death, not by starvation/dehydration, but by another means such as assissted suicide. (place her finger on the button, but SHE has to push the button). If she communicates that she wishes to live then her husband is no longer her legal gaurdian, as she can speak for herself, and she decides what kind of care she wants. I think the next step here would be to obtain a court-ordered CAT scan to determine her level of function and awareness. -Dixie

I drive a 1992 Ford Explorer. I keep it cleaner than most surgical facilities (yes, I am a clean freak to a point). But I have also taken it out to places it shouldnt have been, such a Belleville Bottom Flats. Has had only 4 minor MVAs (in this order - deer, rear-end x2, and tree) It takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'. I would like to have a 2005 GMC Sierra, Ext. Cab 4x4 V8, but that is currently outside my price range. -Dixie

I think we can all argree that starving the disabled is wrong, but you have to remember, she is not going to die of starvation, she is going to die of dehydration. You have only 7 days to live w/o water, that is why this whole thing has been so urgent. The woman is clearly unable to swallow so they must use the GI tube to get fluids and nourishment to her body. She is also in this state because of an eating disorder which lead to caridac arrest. I have symapthy for Terri to a point, but she made a decision a long time ago to risk her life for a certain sense of beauty, and this is the price she has paid. As for her husband, if he would allow her to die w/o dignity then he should be signing Terri Shiavo over to the state. At least the State of Florida would allow her to die with dignity. Thats my .02 cents. -Dixie

Your Unit to Dispatch conversations go something like this: Dispatch: Unit 14, are you there? Unti 14, Calling Unit 14... Unit: Unit 14 here, we're in Possum Flats fishin fer crappie..... Dispatch: Unit 14 you have a call at the Coon Run Church of Christ, a 68 y/o M, c/o of chest pains Unit: Okie dokie, I guess we'll mosey on then...... (the Mic is still keyed: Medic 1 turns to his partner and says, Hey Billy Bob, we got a heart attack call, we need to be gettin' on down the road here.) This actually happened a few years back..... -Dixie

EMT_Chick, we had the same textbook here and yes it is listed as a drug in the pharmacology section, and even on the final that our instructor gave us stated that O2 was a drug. Correct me if I am wrong but doesnt the NREMT EMT-Basic test classify O2 as a drug??? I am trying to remember correctly. -Dixie

Around here M-F ALL squad members on duty must wear a White button down shirt complete with name, rank, etc. and black pants and black shoes. During colder months they have a blue jacket with YCEMS logo, SoL, name, and rank on it. On weekends they have a grey plo shirt with their name and rank on it to wear with the black pants OR a jumpsuit, but on weekends, both crew members must wear the same uniform so it looks more professional. All EMT students must wear a mandatory white polo, black pants, and black boots, with name tag at all times while on 3rd ride. -Dixie

Its ok to spill, that what we're for. Sometimes you just need someone to hold you tight and let you know everything will be alright when you finding it hard to be man. I've got a big shoulder to cry on if you ever need to borrow it. -Dixie

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Usually in this order: drink 7 shots of Tequila, chain smoke a whole pack, dont eat for a week, and then some.... Then Im fine. My personality doesnt change, just my habits. People have told me, its not healthy. And I reply back to them, is breathing our polluted air healthy?? -Dixie

That is why we continously apply for grants that we wont get, and we keep having venison fundraiser dinners. -Dixie

I am going to take this one step further and say that you had better know your ethnic groups within a race! Here in Arkie we have a large hispanic population and if you refer any of them as "mexican" you are in for: 1. An ass kicking after you get off duty 2. Ass chewing from your supervisor. It also helps if you can speak their language. Most hispanics see that if you are speaking their language it is a sign of respect for them and sometimes the older ladies will bake you authentic hispanic treats and bring them to the station for the whole squad. Im just lucky Im multi-lingual (English, Spanish, German, Swedish) -Dixie

You its know really bad when there is an MVA on the county line and BOTH services are called out and it ends up being in the other county anway and transport time becomes 45mins ETA to like 2hrs. ETA after we figure just which side of the county line its on. -Dixie

Your mobile phone in your ambulance is a rotary dial. You take your date out on megacodes. There are tobacco juice stains down one or both sides of the ambulance. Your ambulance siren is a surplus WWII air raid siren. Your ambulance is a 4x4 (Four Wheel Drive), and you enter it in "mud hops." Your ambulance radio is a CB. Your ALS spare kit consists of bandaids. You have on board a #00 catheter. Your bedpan is made of metal, and you got it from government surplus. Your ambulance is from government surplus. You have a tow winch on the front of your ambulance and you got it from (you guessed it) government surplus. Your ambulance has a designated driver when you're at the "Dew Drop Inn Bar and Grill" (After a run of course!). You don't have a problem taking a short cut to the scene via an old logging road or power line road. You carry a deer rifle during deer season, just in case you see the "big one." You brake for wildlife crossing the road (Bears can seriously damage your front end!). Your triage scissors don't have blunt tips. You use 2" X 1" wood boards for long boards for I.V.s. Your drug kit carries a six pack. You never have to worry about taking pregnant patients to the hospital. (I ain't ridin'in that thing!!). You get your O2 from Boss Hawg & Sons Welding Shop. Uncle Boss Hawg makes your antifreeze from the leftovers from his "still." You made your stretcher from Boss Hawg & Sons Welding Shop scrap (and it is rated to 1/2 ton! Great for transporting Big George!). Boss Hawg & Sons Junkyard has all the parts to keep your ambulance running. You made your backboard from scrap from Boss Hawg & Sons Lumber Mill (They're into everything aren't they?). Your tie-down straps for your backboard are whatever you can get your hands on. Most of your EMT's are related one way or another. You don't transport "out-of-staters" or anyone who is from above the Mason-Dixon Line. The Amish get their buggies off the road when you are coming! Doing 60 - 80 mph at night, in the rain, on a small country road doesn't bother you. Just the fact of the ambulance arriving on scene breaks up bar fights (EMT Jethro uses railroad ties to work out). The local police ask you if the scene is safe. You carry explosives on board for those "special occasions." The ATF, FBI or CIA never come to your county. You rely on the "Handyman's Secret Weapon" to fix almost everything - Duct Tape. You clean out the back of your ambulance by parking it on a hill and flushing out the back. You still don't have 911, let alone Enhanced 911. Your county Address Locator book was a school project from Ms. Wills' 6th grade class. Locations to a person needing EMS service might be, "The second house from the boulder were Jethro wrecked his truck." Local news stations will not cover you, because the "The last time we were here you guys...." Everytime you are in the vicinity of "Hootin Holler" in the middle of the night, you hit the siren to get everyone's dogs barking and howling. You give some of your patients complimentary "Odor Eaters" for their shoes. When you went to vacuum out the cab of your ambulance, the vacuum jammed up. -Dixie

Around here in Yell Couty, AR it avg. response time is something like 7-15mins if it is local and if we have to go WAAAAY out in Aly it is a 20min drive out there running lights and sirens. We have a big county with a lot of ground to cover. Right now there are talks of adding at least two more stations in the next 5-10yrs. to cut down on response time. Also the main reason for me wanting to be a volly medic for my local VFD is so that maybe I can begin pt. care until YCEMS arrives and let them take over and I can help where needed once they are on scene. The sooner pt. care is started the better the pt. outcome is going to be in most cases. -Dixie

I am an EMT-B student waiting on my test results. Once I know Im certified then I'll probably be a volly medic for my local VFD and possibly a pd. EMT for a service in a neighboring county. -Dixie