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Swamp Ass - A rant for today

Chief1C

1,628 views

As I sit here, clad in my boxers, in front of a fan...stuck to my leather chair... I'm barely conscious. Oh yeahhhh... Half an oxycontin and half an ultram. Just because. Took a va-ca week. I fucking hurt. Everywhere, every joint in my body is practically useless. Even my hands cramp up. And this damn soupy swamp ass weather ain't helping. I won't bitch about heat, b/c I bitch about cold..but the humidity is so bad you could bottle it up and sell it. And it just rained for about twenty-three seconds...so it's hot, sticky and muggy..at 1am. It was supposed to be 85 today, and it was 98, with a heat index of 107; and it was supposed to be 62 now; and it's 85...so they got shit mixed up a tad. Can't have AC, the place will burn to the ground, wiring is too old..and can't go out and wander around, we have a bear problem...so I'm sitting here, stuck to my chair. Literally.

Pondering..trying to.. I just may barf up the rack of ribs I had for dinner. A large meal on a hot day, just doesn't work...but I couldn't pass it up. Tried a little cola syrup, tasted like shit. I think I'd rather have a bag of wee...uh... nevermind. I was going to spend the evening sewing the patch on my new uniform shirts, but I didn't feel that was an activity that should be performed while not 100% lucid. I'd ask my fiance to do it, but she apparently never had a home economics class. JUST SAYING. I can see it now. "What's a TME"? Military term.. yanno... Technician, Medical, Emergency. ha ha

So I bought a case of suction tubing, really cheap shit, on ebay..and just finished slicing a slit in all 400' of it.. She had to get a kitten. It likes to chew on wires, so to avoid a "Christmas Vacation" (the movie) incident, I'm putting all my wires in suction tubing. That way, at least she'll be satisfied that I tried.

I was going to clean my walk in closet out tonight, so I can go back to calling it a walk in closet, but I'm afraid I'd die from heat stroke. The walls seem to repel heat during the day, and release it inward at night. I am fricken dying here..and then she decides that its a good night to get frisky. Yeah, probably not dear, not feeling so great. So, that's why I'm not in bed. I'd be an unwelcome guest, and I've been shunned to the couch. I'll guilt trip my way back to bed by morning, over protecting, gullible nurses are just too easy; she was hounding me all day about water. I never drink water, I drink other shit. I've never drank a whole glass or bottle of water in my life; and I've yet to die because of it. Drink some water, come lay down, sit in the shade, did you check your sugar? Re-read that in a whiny ass annoying tone and you'll be spot on. Stifle yourself, I'm gonna hang out at the Hosey (fire station), leaving my cell here. Call down if the house catches fire..

Going for a nap on the porch. Peace out ppl of the globe.



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