Well yesterday we went to pick up a new ambulance. I had been to the company that builds ours before, but yesterday the gave us a tour. It was awesome to see how ambulances are built from start to finish! They took us to lunch and even threw in a new Tshirt and hat for each of us! Of course we did pay multiple thousands of dollars to have the old box remounted and improved.
We also saw a new idea they have for a clinic on wheels/communications truck. It was a 14 foot box with 2 curtained areas for patients and 4 desks. Very neat idea! I'm hoping we can find a way to convince our supervisors we need such a vehicle! It amazes me how many improvements have been made to ambulances just in my 7 years of EMS.
If you are shopping for a new ambulance I would definetely recommend Frazer. They work with you to get you exactly what you need. They are helpful when problems arise, and they really KNOW ambulances.
The best part of the day was that I drove the truck 150 miles home and didn't even put one scratch on it!
The spring semester started yesterday and I am already afraid! I am enrolled in Statistics, Environmental Biology, and Theater. My only real concern is statistics. I am not even sure what the class is about!
Hopefully all my professors are great! Good luck to those of you who are also enrolled this semester. I am hoping this will be my last semester at the local community college!
On another note, my books cost $450! I only bought three! How crazy is that?
Well I'm almost 2 months out from microdiscectomy on L5-S1 and I must say I'm disappointed. I was looking at the surgery as a cure for my injury and apparently that was not a realistic expectation. The surgeon told me that disc space is prone to injury and I will need a fusion at that level by the time I'm 40, but I guess I chose to not actually HEAR him.
Waking up from surgery was awful. I was in excruciating pain from severe muscle spasms that the recovery nurse had a hard time controlling. She eventually gave me enough medication to knock me out for most of the rest of the day. After the recovery room experience I wasn't in much pain at all for the first week. We even drove the three hours home that day and ate at a restaraunt on the way. Week 2 was a little rough which is expected. At the end of week 3 I went to get cleared to return to work, as I was told that was how long I would need to be off. He did clear me but advised that it was not in my best interest. He said it could take up to a year to heal from the surgery and I would always have a high risk for re-herniation. He told me I should look at different career paths.
All was ok, not great, until this past Friday when I had severe muscle spasms all night. These spasms were more severe than prior to surgery. They have gone away and are now tolerable for the most part. Today I experienced the tingling in my lower leg again, and called the surgeon who prescribed a steroid pack, pain meds, and a new muscle relaxer. Hopefully they will reduce my pain and tingling.
The hardest thing is that tonight I have reached the conclusion that my time as a paramedic may be over. I don't know what I will do now. I have no real education other than EMS. I don't have enough EMS education to teach and don't relish the idea of going into administration. I don't know where to go. I don't know what else to do with my life. As much as I sometimes hate my job, it really is important to me. I can't imagine any other proffesion bringing me such joy.
I will miss everything from holding a little old ladies wrinkled hand as she tells me stories of her youth to the small child who I can make smile even though his arm is in the shape of a Z. EMS is my passion. I can't imagine walking away.
Hopefully I can squeeze enough time out of my back to be able to figure out my next step.
So here I sit spinning around in my own little world, waiting for some cheese and bread for my wine. No my whine. It will be my last post because obviously there is nothing in the last 3 that has made anyone offer any words. No slap upside the head, no you deserve what you've been dealt, etc etc. I posted in hopes of finding out if anyone could put their virtual arm around me and tell me it would be ok, that it would get better. Study more, try harder, give it up. Your employer sounds like a moron would have been awesome. I did some research and I found evidence that other EMS agencies use systems to manage their employees, track problems, provide solutions to head off problems, remediate and retain as needed. So I'm encouraged that another place may hold out some hope.
I do leave you all with this, and I know at least 300 people have read the blog: We're charged with taking care of people on what is often their worst day ever. I know there's plenty of abuse, plenty of free loaders, plently of people with no coping skills. I never minded that so much which is why I thought I had something to offer to the field. No matter how dumb assed, how stupid or how abusive, I gave every patient compassion and kindness, even when they didn't deserve it. I treated them to the best of my ability without abuse, which is more than the ER I had to take most of my patients to ever did. No matter what dumb mistake a co worker ever offered up and I've seen some doozies, I treated them with kindness and respect and tried to be helpful about offering alternatives that might have been more appropriate without trashing them either to their face or behind their backs, which almost seems to be a sport in EMS anymore. See how hard you can go at someone until they break and then celebrate it?
In a field where we take care of people, we suck at taking care of each other.
I have been trying to explain to my husband what's going on with my job and I find myself almost incredulous that I let it go this far. I don't want to hang out all the dirty laundry, so I'm thinking deep inside I do want to stay in EMS. I made a mistake. After months of a schedule that required 40-48 hours straight, no breaks, long distance transfers and high stress calls, I made repeated attempts to change the schedule, me bringing up repeated safety concerns, such as EMT's driving 90 while texting, an EMT having a seizure on the job and being allowed back to work a week later, I made a medication error. Funny that really wasn't covered in my medic course, but the thought of hiding it, trying to pass the blame, anything dishonest, never crossed my mind. During a code enroute after the standard EPI, I administered Narcan per our protocols, but the patient had been down a long time and was pronounced at the hospital. During the cleanup of the truck a bottle of Haldol was found and being the standup adult that I am, I could only conclude I had administered the wrong medication. I don't remember it like that, but evidence is evidence. I distinctly remember grabbing Narcan. Orange cap. Not Haldol. Yellow cap. Anyway, I went to my director, wrote it up, wasn't asked for mitigating circumstances, such as the fact I'd been up for 40 hours straight. I wasn't asked how many cardiac arrests I'd worked solo: 1. Just give us the facts. Now 6 months later, with no follow up from the head of the service or the medical director, based on another incident blown out of porportion that I was rude to a nurse in the ER, I am being asked to resign. I'm actually being threatened with them going to the medical board is probably more accurate, unless I resign. My husband wants to know why I'm not being demoted, was I ever counseled on any of this, had I ever talked to my medical director prior to all this. My answer is I don't know, no, never. I can never remember anyone being counseled, suspended, demoted, nothing. Once in a while we lose a good medic to an ER nurse who makes a complaint about this exact thing. They were rude to me. I've thought long and hard the last 4 weeks about how many times I went to my boss about issues that concerned me, mainly the continued use of straight shifts. Everyone comes in tired, including me, I told them. Repeatedly. When I ask for time off, I get turned down by the supervisor. I was publically mocked at one point for it with a big production about "conspiracies" and how there aren't any, you just take time when you need it. But yet I couldn't get it when I asked. So in the end, it's my medical license and my future in EMS. It is completely my ass on the line. I've realized that I really lacked any sort of perspective to compare the service to, as I never worked anywhere else. The medical board can screw me forever and I will not work as a medical provider in this state. Ever. I guess I am a little curious about whether this is over the top, pretty typical or just boring and repetitively ignorant. I thought I was a good medic until all this happened. I doubt myself every day and I wonder if going to medic school was a huge mistake that I will pay for forever. Everything I have done the last 3 years was so that the last career I would ever have would be in EMS. Now that's in question. I was planning to move but regardless of the distance and how far away I can never outrun myself. I will always question myself. I guess the bottom line is if I had more confidence in my abilities I might have walked sooner and wouldn't be in this predicament now. I don't know. I love my job, loved my job, that is. Despite all the issues about safety, put me in the back and I'm happy. I love patient care, but maybe I don't deserve it. I keep thinking if I was a better medic this wouldn't have happened, but I know too much about other mistakes made and can only conclude that somewhere in documentation I missed medic self preservation.
It took me 18 days to realize my bad month was going to screw up the Christmas of people I know and love. The hardest thing in the world was to let go of being mad and feeling betrayed and also totally responsible for the entire situation and say, Move on. Just like when your buddy separates or gets divorced or whatever event now makes continued miserable repeatments of how great they are and how low the other person is, rehashed daily for your benefit. I didn't get everything done that would have been over the top, like making cookies with the kids, fantasy fudge, homemade kahlua and trashing a certain someone's medical license. Ok, not completely let go but much further than before. The truth is they will self destruct on their own but tomorrow I can still make fudge that will spike everyone's blood sugar while still taking another week off to just enjoy everyone. I can't job search or do any serious semi permanent decisions until after the first. Isn't that a rule somewhere? Anyway, I will also take another 7 day and more introspection to decide if I want to stay in EMS or not. I had a busy week with the volunteer service I run with and until the day I pull out of town that won't change. Otherwise I will continue to think on it. Following a little old advice about not making hasty decisions.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. And please, if you're not having a great holiday, month, day, year or life, please don't do anything that will force an armed response. There's been too much violence the last few months and don't we all deserve a break? Try a pill, for Gods' sake. My vote is for 2 vicadin and a glass of wine.
I should have started a blog here a long time ago. Maybe back in March when I started having problems. I don't know what happened or where things went wrong, but here on sit, all broken hearted all because I (fill in the blank). Remembered that old kids rhyme for some reason. To start at the end and work backwards for a second, I am in all practical sense of the word, "separating" from my employer. Isn't that a nice way to say Bye and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. According to my officially unofficial text from my boss, my behavior throwing a fit refusing a transfer was not appropriate; the ER funds the program and they wanted my head. So he gave it to them by giving me the nice option of resigning first to "save my license". The events that caused this are in dispute but nobody is believing me, the odds are against me as I have apparently developed a reputation for speaking my mind. And the events are so radically different in my memory than theirs that I am going to a psychiatrist to determine if I've become a split personallity. NO JOKE. Although if I have to even consider it, I'm probably not 2 in 1. Anyway, I asked a question. I was ignored so I repeated the question. No one even turned out to look at me. I was 5 feet away but apparently my question was so powerful they were fearful of my "threatening behavior". I'm not stupid or delusional. I know I was thrown under the bus because the ER doesn't want us to question ANYTHING about transfers. Just shut up and take them. Don't worry you carry no narcotics; pain is subjective. Don't worry the patient may be chemically sedated and stop breathing. Just deal with it.
The question? If you needed 10 of valium, 4 of ativan, 5 of haldol and 5 of versed plus 50 of benadryl to deal with this patient for a few hours, what am I supposed to do if it wears off and he wakes up?
Wrong question. Wrong tone. Wrong Wrong Wrong across the board. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Go back to the beginning and start again. Never mind I never refused, just advised I had to consult with the supervisor. Never mind the nurse in question has been accused of diverting narcotics and never mind that in the past, these "refusals" were much more heated and I've always gotten along with the nurses in the ER. I was the perfect example to be made because I was dumb enough to walk right into it. No one will refuse a transfer now, no one will even question it. They'll be afraid but they'll do it because their job is important to them. Of course it was to me too. I just switched to this better shift, but the tradeoff was that I ran my ass off every week for the last 6 months. 40-48 hours straight every week. No break, tired as crap. I brought it up time and time again that it's hard to be good when you're so tired but I was overruled at every turn by people who just wanted to get their 40 in and get out. So if anything the moral of this story is, to thine own self be true. I knew back months ago it was getting ridiculous there. Personnel issues were being openly gossiped about by the old boss, the new boss and interim boss with people who had no business hearing them. Employee safety issues were routinely ignored because it's complicated to fix a broke clock, easier to just remember it's right twice a day and bring your own timepiece. We all know we flirt with danger every time we go on scene. Dispatch information is usually sketchy, patients unpredictable, family members agitated. Is it really necessary to have to worry about if your driver is texting while driving code 3? Or maybe they'll have another seizure after 2 documented episodes. Yeah, all that and more. So for the next few days, I'll enjoy the time left before the Mayan's exploding time piece comes up short. If it doesn't I guess I can go Christmas shopping and shoot off my fireworks and ponder what life after EMS looks like. If I decide to stay in I'll probably have to move to outdistance the rumor mill. At least my psychological intervention can help me determine why I shouldn't feel angry at the situation and get past it all. I never had any job I loved more, looked forward to and was always excited to be at. Until the last 6 months. Boy doesn't hindsight suck.
I have to wonder what is wrong with someone to go into an elementary school and just start shooting. Innocent babies dead because someone decided it would be a good idea. The shooters mother dead because she was a teacher in that school. Can someone explain it? anyone? cuz I sure can't.
This world has gone absolutely insane. It seems that this kind of thing is getting more and more frequent. We all think of Columbine and the shooting at the Amish school in PA and I'm sure that there are others but they slip my mind just now. What in your life can be so bad that your only alternative is to kill your mother and 20 innocent children in kindergarten and first grade? along with 6 other adults? Did nobody see this coming? Did nobody see that there was something wrong with this person? Have we, as a country, become so used to this kind of gun violence that what happened today is just commonplace?
Don't get me wrong, I advocate the fact that people have the right to keep and bear arms. I grew up around guns...my father taught me how to shoot when I was old enough to hold them without shooting myself in the foot. NY has some pretty stringent gun laws. I cant shoot my husbands pistol because I dont have a pistol permit but I can shoot the shotgun and rifle. I can protect myself and my son should the occassion arise....and God willing it never will arise.
I just don't understand this kind of thing..,I don't...and I am saddened that the world that my son has to grow up in, is so violent. That, for some people, the only answer to thier problems, is to pick up a gun or 2, go to the local elementary school and kill 26 people.
I wish that I could turn back the clock 30 yrs. A time when you could leave your house doors and windows open and unlocked and nobody would even think to walk in if your car wasnt there. When you could leave your keys in the car at night, without worrying that it would be gone in the morning,.....when your kids could go to school and not be afraid that someone is going to come in with a gun, and kill you and your friends and your teacher and anyone else they happen to come across. I wish......
My thoughts and prayers go to the families that lost thier sweet babies today and the families of the adults that were killed. And to my EMS brothers and sisters in CT....I am so sorry that this kind of thikng has happened in your town and state. I am thinking of you all and pray that you find the strength to go on.
Today is a day off. Currently I am reclined in a chair and catching up on Hawaii Five 0. There is nothing like a little McGarrett and Dano to clear my mind.
Yesterday was the extra day I worked. I came to realize of how hard I am on myself, but also realizing that due to this anxiety come into play. Now many of my fellow colleagues would advise me to get out of the field if this is the case. Yet, this time in my life, I am determined not to give up.
I can only hope that my experience through my career will help those, who may be experiencing the same issues or help those coming into the field some ways to avoid the situations.
In April of 2013, I will be in my 19th year of EMS. It took me 7 years to feel comfortable to move onto pursuing my paramedic. When I reached going to paramedic school, I wanted to do very well. I passed, what do we say what do you call a person who passed their paramedic test "Paramedic". I feel that's as far as I have become. I left one job because I felt unappreciated due to attempt to advance, moved on to another service where I was removed after 2 years.
It was almost 2 years before I came back full time. Worked jobs non related to EMS feeling as if I was lowering my standards. It wasn't until I was about to lose my license and certification, that I made the decision to return. I was working as an LNA in a hospital. I was losing my mind seeing how much I really knew.
After returning full time this June, it was as if history was repeating. Before I returned I told my superior that as I began as a paramedic, I joined this particular organization, to learn and become and exemplary employee. I ended up with a wheelchair driver who recently received his intermediate with no experience on an ambulance. After that it was two partners who I believe were trying to believe undermining to my leadership and care. As I iterated before, I came back as if history was repeating myself. Partners who my superiors knew were substandard in their performance. Not following my orders, not relaying pertinent information, and one having poor assessment skills.
My company has the contracts for working 911 in the two cities of my previous company. One city where I worked for 6 years and have lived for over 30 years. I was advised by one superior that due my past performance I would not be recommended to work in that location. Last week, I was reprimanded with a suspension for a policy that does not pertain to patient care, and was written up for a mistake that still has nothing to do with patient care and it was the first offense.
I know for many of my colleagues. I will have their opinions of I am whining. The point of all of this is. Yesterday, I ended up working with my first partner. I found out a few years ago he received an accommodation from the city for his work. I was floored. Yet, I took being able to work with him as a blessing. Wondering what am I doing wrong.
Well, what I learned is I have a difficult time working as a team, and I just focus on how to make myself look good. By doing this my anxiety goes to a level where I end up sabotaging my reputation. My first call I ended up making a mistake. I felt like the smallest person in the world, wondering why this still happens.
This is when I was coming to the realization, but also feeling as if there was no hope. I was hoping for redemption. A few hours later the craziest thought came through my mind, the saying "God won't give me what I can't handle." My last call was a true inferior MI. It actually went quite well. I did everything in my power to change my approach. It seemed to have worked.
After all I have been through, I am trying to change. I believe change needs to come from me. I want to be positive and become the person I've always wanted to be. Maybe this starting over is bringing awareness and improvement. Wish me luck, if there is hope for me at this mid portion of my life. Maybe others who have gone through similar situations or have the same questions I have had can be helped or we can support each other through this grueling and difficult profession.
I have no idea what I was thinking. I was overhearing a conversation, and through the process I ended up taking and extra shift. I can't believe that after all that brought me down. I am continuing to make myself known as a dedicated and contributing employee, but why.
After so much of being brought down, I feel like I am a wounded girlfriend going back to my abusive boyfriend with this organization. It has been such a road to get to this point. Ups down past haunting me, don't know when I will feel that this will be worth it.
The paycheck I get every 2 weeks is definitely a bright spot. I guess if there is one bright spot. It is better than none.
***Please excuse the last posting, didn't realize I had to change the format. So I could have a properly displayed entry****
Another job where anxiety and fear have taken over, I came into this with a positive attitude. Now, I am on the verge of losing it again. I understand why many people have warned me about working for this national company. I came back into working into this field, because I was able to finally convince myself that I was good. I am good, now I am not saying this to toot my own horn, but just to help my confidence and self esteem that has been torn apart over so many years of being pushed down. I come back and I am pushed down again. Stupid policies that have nothing to do with patient care. I end up with reprimands, when others have done worse. I guess the goal of doing the best to take care of those in need, is not a requirement in this company. If anyone else has been in the same situation, I would greatly appreciated.
I can't believe that I haven't blogged anything since April! Holy crap!! Maybe it's because my life is really uninteresting. I wake up, I get dressed, I get Jayse up and dressed, cook breakfast, put the dishes in the sink, make my lunch, yell at Jayse for the 4th time to get his shoes and coat on and grab his backpack and then out the door we go. I get to work, I check my rig and then I clean up the station....and run calls.
We were really lucky last week. Didnt turn a wheel Thursday or Saturday, only ran 1 call Monday and then all hell broke loose...again. Shootings, stabbings, fatal wrecks, acute MI's...you name it, we caught it. I've gotten pretty good at letting the bad things I see go by the wayside. I talk about it if I need to and then I just let it go. As long as I know that I am doing the very best I can.
Today we got a call for "bleeding from the mouth". About half way to the call, dispatch told it us it was now a full arrest and that she was sending us backup. As we were pulling into the driveway, my partner says.."I know these people. I grew up and went to school with thier kids". My pucker factor just went from a 2 to a 20....shit!!! So we get parked, I grab the first in bag, the IO and the suction. Jason grabs the monitor and tells the crew that coming to help to get the stretcher and a backboard when they get there.
So we walk into this beautiful house and I look down and I see blood drops on the floor....leading through the living room, up the stairs and onto the second floor. I see a woman standing there in tears and covered in blood. What the hell is going on? We walk into the bedroom and 1 of our co-workers is there and a couple of the EMT's from the fire dept. I see a man in a white coat doing CPR and HE is covered in blood. So we got to work, my partner gave the monitor to our co-worker. My partner asked for the intubation equipment, which I gave him. One of the EMT's is freaking out.."what can I do...What can I do!!" I send her out to check on the woman that I saw, to talk to her, make sure she is ok and to help her get cleaned up. I then grab the IO and head for the feet. I had an EMT run my line down and I drilled the IO, drew back got blood and hooked up the line. All the while the family member is talking to his brother....begging him to hold on. I ask what happened, whle my partner is fighting with the airway because its full of blood...he can't get the tube so he goes with a combitube. Something is better than nothing but now he is kinda stuck...cant deligate the airway because he has to constantly suction blood out of it.
Anyway, the family member tells us that his brother had a tonsilectomy 2 days ago with a tracheal cutdown? in Rochester. He says his wife heard him hit the floor and she came in to the room and found him on the floor, spewing blood from his mouth. The patient was covered, there were pools of blood on the floor as well as several towels dropped on the floor,soaking up more blood. If I didnt know better I would swear it was a murder scene and I had to swallow the dark humor that sometimes bubbles to the surface.
So I get the line attached and the IO secure and asked for my vasopressin....I got handed an Epi...ok that works. Give the Epi and because it was witnessed, asked for the Atropine. Got that and gave it. IO is runnin great...they finally have him intubated and now we have to move him. A backboard isnt gonna work....so we use the megamover. I apologize for the messl, I got told not to worry about it by the man's brother. The guys get him down to the stretcher and secured and now we are cookin with gas. I'm doin compressions and the only activity is my compressions....the 4:1 is asystole in 2 leads, but I gotta say that there wasnt anything to circulate. Got my 40 of vasopressin in him and continue compressions. My partner is still trying to keep the airway clear and he tells me that when I'm not doing compressions, he is easier to bag, but doing the compressions there is blood in the tube. I havent got much more to throw at him, so I fire up the pacer. Get my mMa set and the pulse to 60. My partner gets on the radio and calls a quick report and asks for sodium bicarb...we got the order for it, which surprised me and I gave that as well. The 4:1 is now showing agonal beats but no pulse....PEA. Shit!!! back to compressions....by now my back ( where I sprained it) is screaming at me to stop but I cant. We finally pull into the hospital, get him inside, get him moved over and respiratory therapy is there...with their fancy cameras and all...and they cant get the tube. Nice! Meanwhile someone else is doing compressions...at about 60 a minute. Really??! speed it up man!! then someone else takes over...and she is over on the left side of the chest...bouncing up an down....let me in there I tell her...and I start compressions again.
My white shirt is red, my blue pants are red and I am sweating like a pig on a hot summer day. The Doc looks at me and says " Good compressions!" "Thanks Doc...we get lots of practice...unlike some of the people in this room." I finally cant make myself do another compression and I let the 60 a minute man take back over. I untangle our monitor and walk out of the room. I only know this patients first name and that he is 59 years old. Except for the tonsilectomy 2 days ago I know nothing about him, except that he is dead and I worked my ass off to make that not happen.
We were out of service for 2 hours after the call. Cleaning up the rig and restocking it. Then we had to go to our houses and get clean uniforms and different boots. I threw my uniform into the washer at work and off we went on the next call.
Why cant I just have a nice normal day of Gramma fell and bumped her head?? Nope I get the people the bleed out in front of their families eyes and am helpless to stop it.
Some days it just doesnt pay to chew through the straps man.
I'm having surgery in a week...and I'm slightly nervous...I think I know too much about the OR!
During my clinical time I spent many hours in the OR. I witnessed techs making fun of patients, not being professional, and many minor mistakes being made. I am terrified of what will go on as I am under anesthesia. The people I work with are not helping...I have been told that I will be awake throughout surgery without the ability to let them know. I have been told that I will wake up intubated. I am afraid of waking up in severe pain. I am afraid the surgery won't work. I am afraid that the surgeon will find more damage than expected when he goes in. I am afraid that the surgery will be more extensive than I am anticipating.
I'm trying to be optimistic. I hope that my pain will be greatly relieved after surgery. I hope that I can control the pain with minimal pain killers.
I really NEED this surgery to work. The last 7 months have been crazy awful.
I hate the term Paragod. I hated it when I was an EMT-B, and I hate it now that I'm a paramedic.
I know there are times when paramedics take it too far. I worked with one who insisted that I stand on the right side of the stretcher, for no reason other than the fact that he felt that's the way it should be. There are paramedics, who think that EMT's offer no help at all other than the ability to drive. However, there are times when paramedics must stand there ground.
I am a green paramedic. I can admit that. I've been a paramedic for almost 4 years and was an EMT for 3 before that. I know I don't know everything. I never will.
It bothers me when EMT's try to quarterback my calls. There are times when experience is helpful and I will listen to the suggestions they offer, but the final call is mine. I am responsible for the patient, nobody else.
If you don't understand why I've done something a certain way ask me after the call. I'm happy to explain my thinking and discuss the situation.
It is so easy for lower level providers to critique what they don't understand. They don't want the responsibility of being a paramedic yet they want to judge what they don't understand.
There are times when a paramedic has to be authoritative. There's no way around it.
So, if I override a decision you try to make, please understand it isn't personal. I just may have a different way of thinking than you do.
It just gets better and better...
I was thrown from a horse back in April(my fault, not the horses) and had immediate excruciating back pain. When I was able to catch my breath I stood up and walked about 8 steps before I had to lay back down from fear of passing out. This happened at my grandparents house and scared the crap out of my grandpa. He wanted to call 911 but I couldn't let that happen. I didn't want to be mae fun of by my colleagues! Lol. Anyway, I crawled into the car and he took me to a small local ER. The CT showed a compression/end plate fracture at L1. I was off work for 3 months and started PT three days after the injury. I followed my doctors advice to the T but didn't seem to get any better and he just wasn't listening to me. He released me for work but I still was having symptoms and didn't know what to do...
I went to a chiropractor and he ordered an MRI which showed a herniation and extrusion at the L5-S1 level with an annular tear. I have decreased reflexes on my right side and severe sciatic pain at times. I saw a pain management dr who did 2 epidural spinal injections with no relief.
A friend convinced me to see an orthopedic spine specialist who recommends a microdiscectomy. I scheduled the surgery but can find little information about returning to heavy lifting. Hopefully I will get more information at the Pre-OP appointment. The surgeon said I could go back to work after 4 weeks and I hope he is right because after that I wil lose my job.
I am very nervous about back surgery. I don't want to live in pain every day for the rest of my life but I also don't want to give up my career.
Anybody have any experience with this? Any advice?
Well it been about 2 months since I posted one sentence into the blog. I keep telling myself I'm going to journal. I want to blog, but it's much more fun to play Bejeweled Blitz for 5 hours, then realize you've wasted your day.
I watched Julie and Julia last night. Yup, it reminded me that I wanted to blog again. But yet, as many people feel, I am unsure what to write and how much I want to open up about myself. Oops excuse me I've been off the Vyvance for a month, something shiny just caught my attention.
Ok I'm back. So where should I begin today.
I'm at work. I took an extra shift because my bank account was circling the drain. Ms. Shelley (Dog) and Mr. Mojo (Cat) have had hospital visits that put a damper on reconstructing my finances. Reconstructing is a nice way of putting never had any to begin with.
It's an IFT shift. Notice came out from operations desperate for someone to work a 10 hour shift, and of course once I got into work 10 has become 13.
I like doing IFT work, it is primarily how many of us started, and the education you receive from reading charts and medical records of patient's is great. Just as in the other emergency area of EMS work, it does have it's ups an downs.
Well looks like I'm off for now.
As some of you know, it has been a long time since I have really been here in the city... and to be honest, I have been avoiding it, mostly in shame.
In 2009, I started paramedic classes... I loved it, even though juggling a not-so-stable home life, running my own business, and being guardian and sometimes caregiver for my mom was sometimes a challenge. I did well in my classes, and was looking forward to my practicums.
In 2010, two tours into my practicum, my mom became acutely ill, and within 3 days, I had to make the decision to remove her from life support and explain it to the rest of my family.
As I was not allowed to take time off from my practicum, I withdrew for a year, as was required by the college. I went back in 2011, and struggled through my first practicum. I felt my preceptors weren't being the mentors I wanted. When I asked for clarification, they said "look it up." When I asked for them to quiz me on medications, they said "later." Although they signed off on all my skills and competencies, at the end of my practicum, they informed me that they were not going to pass me to go on to my next practicum because "you are not sociable enough." Not with patients, but with other staff... they said I studied too hard and didn't spend enough time having coffee with staff (WTF???). They also refused to complete the final evaluation, so I was in limbo..
I contacted the college numerous times to see what my options were, without getting a response. Finally I appealed to the Dean and President of the college. Instead of accepting my completed competencies, I was required to re-do that practicum AGAIN.
I did not perform well. I was frustrated, and I struggled. I lost focus, I was making dumb mistakes. One of the staff where I was doing my practicum told me that my preceptor had been told by the college to make my practicum as difficult as possible, so I would leave, because I had embarassed them by appealing my previous practicum.
I couldn't do it... I gave up and withdrew... I failed in my attempt to be a medic, something I always wanted... and in the year since then, every day I wake up and hate the fact that I didn't make it. I hate that medics I work with tell me that I should be a medic, that I am better than half the medics out there, and yet I couldn't do it. I hate that I wasted all that time and money, and have nothing to show for it. I hate that there are people who I thought were really good friends, who haven't spoken to me since I left school. I should have fought harder. I should have done better. I should have been successful...
I stalk this site, and read the posts.... and think "I have nothing to add... " so I don't..
I am not posting this for sympathy... I don't want sympathy... I am posting so those that asked, know why I am not here anymore. I don't think I have anything to contribute... and until I figure out how to regain that confidence, I won't. I won't go back to school - I can't afford it, and on the positive side, my business has really expanded in the last year, and I still work casual on an ambulance, so that helps keep me busy.
Be safe all...
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People want Tim Tebow in there Arizona did not wear the red pants for the remainder of the season and won four of their last seven games Goodell released a memo to every team in the league stating that "It is clear to me that further action is NFL 2012 Uniforms required to emphasize the importance of teaching safe and controlled techniques, and of playing within the rules After each team had utilized its position in the drafting order, whether by trading it or selecting a player, a round would be completeThis slow death march could easily take 10 to 15 years Show up late? DingSince the divisional.
That's small potatoes for the national economy as a whole, but for a small and somewhat remote city of 104,000, it is a big deal indeed If anything, it penalizes those who work hard because they spend time, energy and their own money to help students, only Nike Jerseys For NFL to get the same check each month as the worst teacher in the districtor an even smaller one, if that teacher has been there longer opposing players out of gamesIt's hard not to, not when you're playing for a coach like Gregg Williams, my defensive coordinator while I was with the Washington Redskins For the San Diego Chargers.
The NFL analyzed games from 2009-11 and discovered that 44 games required part of the audience to be switched to a mandatory doubleheader game kickoff. With a 4:25 kickoff, that number would have been reduced by 66 percent to only 15 games. The Jets’ initial schedule for 2012 shows that they will be affected at least twice NFL Jerseys For 2012 by the time change. Their Sept. 16 game at Pittsburgh was originally scheduled for 4:15, as was their Oct. 21 game at New England. Further, four of the Jets’ last five regular-season games are subject to NFL flex scheduling and so those games could also wind up getting the 4:25 nod.
According to a report in the Deseret News, Homeland Security and U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement officials have shut down 70 websites which deal in fake Cheap Stitched NFL Jerseys goods."This operation targeted criminals making a buck by trying to trick consumers into believing they were buying name brand products from legitimate NFL Jerseys Free Shipping websites when in fact they were buying counterfeits from illegal but sophisticated impostor sites located overseas," ICE director John Morton said in statement.
"The impostor sites were simply a fraud from start to finish and served no purpose other than to defraud and dupe unwary shoppers."The sites which were Cheap Stitched NFL Jerseys shut down included several Cheap Stitched NFL Jerseys with names close to the real thing, including, nflshopjerseys.net and nflshop18.com.Some of the websites had sophisticated means of tricking customers, including data encryption on their websites, which apparently convinced some customers they were buying the real thing.
Investigators interviewed a man in Sandy, Utah, who ordered more than $1,000 worth of jerseys priced at $18.50 each.Now I'm no U.S. Marshal, but given the NFL's insatiable desire and Low Price NFL Jerseys uncanny ability to collect others' money, such a price Cheap Stitched NFL Jerseys might have alerted me to the fact something might not have been on the up-and-up.A Utah sports fan who ordered 42 jerseys last fall from an online shop thought he was getting a great deal on authentic National Football League and Major League Baseball shirts.
The shirts all turned out to be fakes and the site — nflshopjerseys.com — turned out to have no connection to the sport leagues, the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) said Thursday Custom Nike Jerseys as it announced seizure of 70 websites Cheap Stitched NFL Jerseys trafficking illegal goods.The action, dubbed Project Copycat, shut down websites selling baby carriers, language and fitness DVD sets, clothing, jewelry and luxury goods, in addition to sports jerseys.
"The imposter sites were simply a fraud from start to finish and served no purpose other than to defraud and dupe unwary shoppers," said John Morton, ICE director, in a statement.The websites Custom Nike Jerseys mimicked the look of legitimate retail sites so Cheap Stitched NFL Jerseys closely that "it would be difficult for even the most discerning consumer to tell the difference," the agency said.And, in what the agency termed a "troubling new twist," many of the websites appeared to have Secure Sockets Layer certificates.
Which authenticate and encrypt private information and provide consumers with assurance their financial transactions are protected. Instead, consumers were New NFL Jerseys duped that they were safely Cheap Nike NFL Jerseys providing data to legitimate companies.The Sandy man paid $18.50 per jersey — about one-fourth the cost of an authentic jersey sold by a legitimate retailer — plus an insurance charge and handling fee; in all, the transaction was just over $1,000.
The man's order was shipped from Shanghai, China, but was detained in Anchorage by customs agents who suspected the parcel might contain counterfeit merchandise. The New NFL Jerseys package was then sent Discount NFL Jerseys to Salt Lake City, where an agent with ICE's Homeland Security Investigations contacted an intellectual property specialist with the NFL to verify the jerseys were fakes.The intended recipient "insisted that he did not know they were counterfeit," a search warrant states.
The package sent to the Utah man included 24 jerseys that were either not what he ordered or were the wrong size.The developers of a proposed megamall in northern New Jersey have asked a judge New NFL Jerseys to dismiss a lawsuit filed by the state's two NFL teams, New NFL Jerseys who claim the project in their backyard would create epic traffic problems and interfere with game days.Canadian-based Triple Five made the request in court papers filed Tuesday.
It's their response to suit filed last month by the New York Giants and the New York Jets, who claim the proposed "American Dream Meadowlands" facility violates a prior agreement they had to Nike NFL Jerseys approve any expansion plans at the East Rutherford site, which New NFL Jerseys is near MetLife stadium where the teams play.Lawyers representing the teams and the company that built the stadium also claim the project will create "a transportation nightmare" that will adversely affect football fans.
DreamWorks Animation may soon see its family of characters including Shrek, Puss in Boots and Kung Fu Panda become theme park attractions in East Rutherford, N.J., although obstacles and questions still remain before a long-abandoned shopping mall becomes what developers are calling American Dream.On New NFL Jerseys Wednesday, DreamWorks Custom Nike Jerseys Animation SKG and Triple Five, the Alberta, Canada-based developer (owned by the Ghermezian family) that operates the giant Mall of America in Minnesota.
The Green Bay Packers announced Tuesday that they had a record year financially, driven in large part by their 13-0 start to a season in which they were the defending Super Cheap Nike NFL Jerseys Bowl champion.The Packers said they had $42.7 million in net Discount NFL Jerseys income in 2011-12, an increase of 150 percent over the previous year. Total revenue was $302 million, up 6.9 percent, largely driven by enthusiasm over a season that included a 15-1 regular-season record, team president Mark Murphy said.
Mendes convergence of his own words as far as possible,“The online store (to be located at Shop.NFLPA.com) will provide three distinct benefits to individual NFL players: every Discount NFL Jerseys single player (not just the most marketable ones) will Discount NFL Jerseys have ready-to-sell items in the store, NFL players will receive up to 70 percent of the net proceeds for products sold, and players will be able to sell autographed memorabilia via consignment and auction, with the proceeds going directly to players or player-designated charities.”
Have you been picturing yourself in that Junior Hemingway t-shirt or that Kyle McCarthy jersey? Me too. Seriously."It was such a great season," Murphy said. "It kept the excitement New NFL Jerseys level at a very high level."I just saw you on the court show, Discount NFL Jerseys customized cheap nfl jerseyswas so wonderful that you have let others envy talent. You have the chance to become a professional players envy letting a person, but also is very famous the sort of.
I came here the Authentic New York Giants jerseys online purpose is pure, is want to take you to the more big stage.He doesn't want to let the dialogue between two people into the type of Nike NFL Jerseys flattery praise, that would let a person looks very sincere, Discount NFL Jerseys although he really want to praise this little usa nfl jersey guy in the pitch out of the technology.As the NFL's only publicly owned franchise, the Packers are the only NFL team required to reveal detailed financial data.
The latest report didn't include $64 million raised through a six-week stock sale around the Christmas season.Shrek might find a home in the swamps of northern New Jersey. The Hollywood Custom Nike Jerseys studio that created the green ogre and the wisecracking zoo animals Discount NFL Jerseys of "Madagascar" has announced plans to develop an indoor theme park as part of a megamall in New Jersey's Meadowlands. DreamWorks Animation CEO Jeffrey Katzenberg says the theme park 10 miles west of New York City will incorporate the studio's characters and storytelling.
The "American Dream" mall in East Rutherford was scheduled to open in 2007 but remains vacant and unfinished. The NFL's two New Jersey-based teams, the Jets and the Giants, Cheap NFL Jerseys for Sale have also sued to block the mall from opening due 2013 New Jerseys to traffic concerns.Mall developer Triple Five of Alberta, Canada, says it hopes to have the mall and theme park open in 2014. The New York Times was first to report the deal.
New Jacksonville Jaguars owner Shahid Khan announced that the Jaguars uniforms would be changing back in February, revealing the team would be bringing back their all black uniforms. 2013 New Jerseys Beginning in 2012 the Jaguars will wear black alternate uniforms 2013 New Jerseys and in the 2013 season, the Jaguars will wear all new uniforms designed by Nike with black as the primary color.Well, the new alternate uniforms can now be found on the NFL Shop website. Check out the picture after the jump.
The team did away with their black alternate jersey a few seasons ago, and the excitement ramped about with the news that they would be brought back into the fold. The black jersey New NFL Jerseys for 2013 was always a big seller, despite most Jaguars home games 2013 New Jerseys being played in the heat of September and October in Florida.Shahid Khan, or Shad for short, bought the Jaguars in January 2012 from then owner Wayne Weaver for around $770 million .
For making that kind of investment, Shad would then start to make his own imprint on the franchise by a series of moves.Finding a new head coach is one of the first things that usually Cheap NFL Jerseys Free Shipping takes place when a franchise begins rebuilding; as well as 2013 New Jerseys firing the old one. While Khan is saved the luxury of the ladder, he was able to quickly find a new head coach in former Atlanta Falcons offensive coordinator Mike Mularkey, as well as retaining Defensive coordinator Mel Tucker.
Who did wonders with the keys to the defense last season. With coaches in place, the next step is usually finding a great player to tie into the rebuild such as a franchise quarterback.Is Discount Sports Jerseys Blaine Gabbert the answer? He has only been in the 2013 New Jerseys league for one lockout season, where he was forced to start while coming out of a spread offense, while also having a lack of weapons outside of Maurice Jones-Drew.
Training camp sessions have been reported as great even though various media outlets state Chad Henne could be given the nod. With a revamped offense featuring 2013 NFL Jerseys additions on all levels, the passing attack should improve significantly, considering other factors aren’t an issue.My heart sank at the image below asNFL 2013 Jerseys it popped up on my computer screen one night after work. The Jaguars were in the mix for Tebow, not a typical Jaguar move considering they passed up Tebow years ago for Tyson Alualu.
Khan was looking to make an impression no doubt, but making a move of this caliber and succeeding would definitely have given Jaguars the much needed or not so needed attention. While 2013 NFL Jerseys having a player with the following of Tebow would 2013 NFL Jerseys surely have been great during the offseason, the microscope and scrutiny of any failures either he or Gabbert would have faced would have given the Jags a rigorous beating.
That said, would the Gabbert project have lasted? While I still believe in giving Gabbert the benefit of the doubt and a total of three years before any judgement, Tebowmania would surely Personalized NFL Football Jerseys take hold.Another issue that hit me as odd just a 2013 NFL Jerseys few days before Superbowl XLVI was a tweet by John Oehser stating, "Shad Khan makes news at the Super Bowl. Jaguars will go to all black uniforms, according to Khan. Change will begin in 2013".
Now while I am for a new look, I can’t help to think how horrible it would be to wear an all black uniform in the Florida heat. Coming to Jacksonville for the first time must be a brutal Cheap Jerseys Online change for players and coaches alike, and is most 2013 NFL Jerseys definitely an advantage during home games, but wearing an all black uniform does not seem feasible. Wearing black may increase jersey sales and some sort of league recognition, but it may harm the players more depending on home game scheduling.
Khan has only been an owner for a total of about 7 months, and has already proven he is willing to make changes in order to spark the franchise and fan base. With his "All In" campaign, New Nike NFL Jerseys upgrades to the stadium as well as going after free agents 2013 NFL Jerseys unlike years before, Khan may be what the Jaguars need. After all, what Khan happen right?An intercepted shipment of fake NFL jerseys to a Utah man was part of a federal investigation which has taken down 70 websites selling counterfeit NFL jerseys.