aussiemedic

What is the weirdest bystander you have ever had come up to and try and take over what you are doing? I once was treating a patient when a guy came and said he was a doctor, and under policy, we have to let doctors help. Anyway, this guy sat down with my patient and started asking about his home life and how he was generally feeling (he had a fractured leg - how do you think he would feel) and started counselling him..... Turns out he was a doctor of psychology, and had no medical training....... Another one was at a car accident, where I was treating a female with a suspected punctured lung (well is it? how do I know - I am not a damn x ray machine nor do I have one in my back pocket) who under stress had an hyperventilation episode. I managed to talk her out of the hyperventilation and get her breathing normally... when this woman comes up to me and says "Out of my way, I am a nurse" and pushed me away from the patient... and then says "Breath like your having a baby" and induces the hyperventilation again. Then the bus rocks up to get her and the nurse is no where to be seen.... did some chasing up though... she was a maternity nurse..... There are probably hundreds more I can think of, like "I have a senior first aid certificate that is higher than the qaulifications I have" and my reply is "paramedic is the highest you can get in the prehospital care field", "no, I have senior first aid and I know what I am doing". Meanwhile, I am splinting a fracture, administering pain relief, etc something a person with a senior first aid cert cannot do..... Any way.. lets all have laugh at someone elses expense.... I am supposed to be heading to a meeting Tim

Hey all Just a quick one, but I think we would all get a laugh out of this one.... Why has the police pulled your ambulance over in the past and what did they speak to you about? I will start this off... I was returning from a job one night in a supervisors car (a Holden Commodore sedan) when the police pulled me for.... of all things.... impersonating a police officer. Yes, my company wheres blue shirts.... but my badges are very different.... and my car was a black car with red lights (police have red and blue lights in Australia) Any way, they pull me up and tell me that it is illegal for me to display red flashing lights on the vehicle (hang on a sec.... it was the police that gave me the authority to do so....) and to wear a blue uniform and that I had been spotted impersonating a police officer.... I asked him if any one had made a complaint, if they had seen me (as I know I had not used lights and sirens at all that day) and they said no. I asked what the prob was, and they said it because I had a blue uniform and lights and that I would be arrested and charged. I then asked the constable if he was arresting officers of the NSW Ambulance Service (they have red lights), the fire service (they wear blue uniforms) or the local rescue service (who also wear blue). He said no. I then suggested that his partner arrest him for impersonating a police officer (as a joke of course - after all, he was in a police uniform....) and at that point he spotted something shiny on my collar... did I mention that I am a chaplain as well? He had spotted the crosses, and I have never seen anyone leave a scene as quick as this fellow. The good outcome of this, I did speak to the local police commander, and the constable had just completed training and was not fully sure of the law, so it was an honest mistake.... apologies were passed and our two services get along nicely now... Just to go on record.... yes I do follow the road rules and laws. I also heard a story of a highway patrol officer that used to pull ambulances over under lights at 3am on an empty street in a built up residential area and issue a fine for not sounding the siren. So the ambos did this, and every body complained about sirens at 3am, so they stopped and the fines started again.... what a catch 22. Any way, I look forward to your responses..... Have a great night / day or sleep if it is your day off.... Tim

I once heard the local police place a call through for a mentally ill patient who was off their meds... " We are taking the person to Maitland psych as all of his dogs are not barking" I have liked the one though, I laughed when I heard it on the scanner (not funny for the guy I guess): A bit of background first, the police got called out for a guy in a car pulling over traffic in a vehicle with red/blue lights and a siren with Queensland registered plates on his car (I am in NSW, a different state) The police got him and was doing a check on him when came the reply: "**** has had his Queensland licence suspended, vehicle is currently out of rego and has been reported [stolen], has been banned from driving in NSW, has warrants for his arrest in NSW and Queensland. Back up is on the way as he is known to be armed...." Guess that would have screwed his day up.

One pager that I had met with an accident with a car tyre..... Fell off my belt and landed under my car as I was responding to an emergency call....

Mine says "Corporate Emergency Services" and on the back it says "State Operations" My company catch phrase at the moment is "saving lives"

I am in a volunteer rescue service in Australia, and my pager has gone off while I was, well, doing my husbandly duties with my fiancee.... damn call out turned out to be a pharmacuetically gifted individual who was bored.... we call them space cadets, cause they are spaced out (like me now.... perhaps it is my bed time... And the damn test pages! Supposed to go through at 730 at night, and when it goes off at 1030 you always make it to the station before you realise that it was a test page.... And also... does anyone have a problem of the low battery warning at 3am sounding just like a pager message... once again at the station before you realise it.....

Some of the funniest things that I have heard come over a radio have come from ambulance volunteers (I wont say which service though, some australians might be able to figure it out) but god bless their cotton socks, they are just saintly people. I was night operations supervisor for a major event with the army cadets, and for some reason all of the calls came in at night when I was on, and it made it very busy for me. Anyway, some of the calls that came in over the radio: "I request urgent transport for a patient that is hypothermic with a high temperature" - turns out to be the flu..... "I am responding to a report of a patient with a spinal injury, and I need transport to the medical centre", I reply "can I have the patients name and details so I can arrange with the medics to pick the patient up", came the reply "I don't know yet, he is still walking over to me" I was calling for starlight, one of the medics - came the reply "I see no starlight because of the clouds, but I can see moonlight" Anyway, I have to run, as I have been told the saintly ppl want to chat to me about my ethics.... Aussiemedic