m3dic911

Mental health issues as a provider

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Ok so I came on this side of the sight looking to see if I might stumble on some guidance but this seems like an interesting area. So I too have my issues, no clue where they came from or why. The aggression, the up and down emotions, the lack of empathy so on. Fortunately it seems that Zoloft tends to be my friend, doesnt make the issues go away but manages them. Seems the older I get the worse it becomes w/o medication. 

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I'm really glad this topic was brought up. I've previously worked in a job that consisted of severely diverse co-workers- what does that mean? 

Everyone is different, different views, different beliefs, different realitys, different culture, different ethnicity, different color, different ages, different geographical location, different mentally, different physically (list goes on). 

Yet, all these severely different people had at least one thing in common, they had the same job to get done which consisted of putting aside their differences and working together.

Point is, when it comes to a job/ workforce, our differences are insignificant and do not matter- as long as the job is being performed and to the best extent. 

As for your condition m3dic911, you have an advantage being in the EMS field. Because you can't empathize, that won't affect your level of care negatively, it helps you focus on fixing/helping that patient without having emotion as a distraction. I'm not sure but I'm guessing that also means it would be difficult to develop PTSD as opposed to others which also helps. 

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I stumbled across this thread today and found it interesting. My Son was recently diagnosed with depression but exhibits signs of ASPD in excess of what is considered normal for his stage of development. My ex husband is ASPD and I would coin him as Psychopath. I too have a frightening amount of ASPD traits. I also believe that is what makes me incredibly good at my job but also the thing that makes me unreliable at my job. Allow me to elaborate: I have the ability to read social ques and blend in with what patients want to see from me to gain trust and, hopefully, manipulate successfull outcomes for them. I have found that my ability to deal with people on their level helps them to reduce shame, regret, and find personal freedom. An ASPD trait I absolutely love. I only care what others think as long as it serves my cause. Also, it makes me feel accepted and appreciated which helps to curb my symptoms. The down side to that is that I burn out very quickly when having to artificially empathize for too long and pretend like I care about the person. I don’t care about the person. I care about the outcome. The empathy burn out makes me want to abandon all responsibilities and I can’t do that because I need my job to survive in this life. Trying to find an environment where I don’t have to empathize is a challenge for medical professionals. So yes, there are others like you. Successful people like you.

I am going to assume that you posted this because you feel somewhat isolated in the world? Here is what I did to avoid that: I select people like me to socialize with. A wolf can smell a wolf. Trust me. Talking with those people about my unusual social behaviors and muted feelings doesn’t frighten those people and controls my ASPD symptoms by helping to minimize how isolated I feel in the world. I have found that being the safe place for my teen helps to minimize his symptoms as well. Just as a recovering addict can manage their need to use a drug an ASPD can manage their psychotic boredom and feelings of isolation. I also take advantage of opportunities that allow me to have an outlet. Example: sexual harassment or unsolicited sexual advances. Oh, how I adore the fool who who attempts to take my power in sexual advances. These are socially unacceptable behaviors of theirs. Whenever I am sexually harassed I do not find offense to it. It makes me chuckle inside. But I pretend as tho I find offense because that’s “normal” and I respond to it in a “normal and offended” manner. My verbally humiliating responses to the offender are considered acceptable by society, praised by other women and amusing to myself. But I would never intentionally manipulate or force this situation tho I am capable of it. I otherwise want to be left alone to do my own thing and I like to leave others alone to do theirs. 

Find people like you that can accept you. They won’t fear what you are capable of because ASPD don’t feel fear in the same ways others do. Don’t try too hard to break the stigma. It exists for a reason. Don’t get angry with people if they reject you. They weren’t part of your tribe. Find the small every day coincidence that allow you to curb your boredom just a little bit. And as with every other person on the planet you will have to be careful about who you disclose this to and be willing to accept the outcomes when you do decide to disclose it. Your not alone in your struggle. Best of luck.

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