Unrealistic Expectations

[ERDoc]

I would recommend finding someone (relative, friend, someone from this site) to talk to that does not live in the area and has no knowledge of the call. It sounds like you need an unbiased shoulder to cry on and ear to listen. Feel free to PM me if you want.

[MariB]

The people even in the service you work with may not even understand why that particular call hit you, but they should understand calls can bother anyone.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I understand the small area thing. I hope you find relief.

[Richard B the EMT]

I may be slow in responding, but I can try and do the same offer like ERDoc.

Edited August 1, 2013 by Richard B the EMT

[canuck]

The hardest part about working and living in the same area is hearing about a call you were on and all the armchair critics.

A call I did years ago by the time the local experts were done with it we had been lost and incompetent and there were complaints filled by the family because of the length of time it took to finish the call.

Never a complaint filed and the family was fully aware of what was going on and the reason the call took so long.

It took me a long time to get over being very bitter at "Joe Public" for that one, but knowing that his family was fine with what went down was a good start on the road to being at peace with the call

It's a good start to recognize that you are affected by the call and that is a human reaction. It's unfortunate that talking to a councillor didn't help but don't give up on talking to people.

I'm lucky, my husband is in the same profession but works at a different service, he's handy to talk to. My Mom doesn't understand EMS but she 'gets' people who are hurting and is an awesome shoulder to cry on (have to leave out the specific details when talking to her so as not to identify local people)

Maybe if your family is discussing a call that you've been on and they know you've been on you could ask them not to talk about it when you are there, that you won't be giving them any details even if they try to pry them out of you and they are wasting their time speculating on what happened.

If you have friends in surrounding services who were not on the call and you can trust them to keep confidentiality they might be a resource to talk to.

Unfortunate that some folks still see emotional responses as a weakness and try to keep others from talking about how things are affecting them.

Personally I feel those are the folks who are afraid of their emotions.

[ERDoc]

Don't forget that when you are dealing with Joe Q. Public, they are programmed to have unrealistic expectations. Our standard of care is set by Turd Watch, Rescue Me and the other such shows. I've had colleagues who have had families complain to hospital admin that no one was exciting or yelling while their family member was coded. They just don't get it. Just ignore what those who do not understand medicine and those who were not there have to say. I know that it is easier said than done. It sounds like you were put into a crappy situation by a partner who freaked but you stepped up and did what you could. Try to set it aside and focus on the pts to come, the ones that you can do something for.

[miscusi]

There seems to be some miscommunication.

I am merely saying, that LESS EMOTIONAL is better for "EMERGENCY WORK".

Emergency work demands a person be CALM and CONFIDENT in situations that would make MOST NORMAL PEOPLE break down in tears and cry uncontrollably.

if you feel little to no emotion, how can you feel empathy, compassion or concern?

empathy, compassion and concern is not necessary for EMERGENCY care and transportation of the sick and injured. It offers no added benefit to the patient. yet it may hinder the prompt treatments and interventions. Once COMPASSION becomes a priority on a call, then it AINT NO EMERGENCY !

You are wrong about police, military and therapists not feeling any emotion. I've seen police cry. I've seen social workers break down. And therapists usually have that job because they do care. They have compassion and yes, emotion. I would advise you to consider seeing one.

You need to learn to read, I never said they don't feel emotion, I am saying the jobs are best suited for the less emotional, and the therapist is not on the same list.

I would rather cry like a girl when I get home after something hits close to home than have little to no emotion. People like that can not feel love, joy or happiness

You don't have a choice anyway, you are obviously born emotional, and I hope the impact of your work does not harm your mental health in the long run.... even if you can hold back your emotions when rendering pt care, being emotional in the first place puts YOU at risk.

Call after call of people dying in sad circumstances takes their toll on the emotional provider. life can get so sad that you end up with depression and or suicidal thoughts.. how is that healthy? how is that good?

Same thing for COPS. example: You shoot a perp, bullet goes through the perp and kills a baby down the street.

Emotional Cop: Cry months on end, blames himself, blames this blames that, possibly end up on alcohol or drugs, and puts a bullet in his own head.

Non-Emotional Cop: Knows that the shot had to be taken, that he did the right thing by the book, understands that the baby being dead is a sad event, but is collateral damage. efforts of law enforcement must continue, he goes back to work the next day, performing at 100%.

think about it. Its true, they have posters up all over the precinct for cops who cant cope with the stress of EMERGENCY work.

[Note by Dwayne: Liked by me not because I necessarily agree with everything said but for the attempt to stay in the conversation and make their point more clear and less offensive. Like the opinion or not, I respect the willingness to stay engage and debate.]

Edited August 22, 2013 by DwayneEMTP

[Happiness]

Wow, it does sound like someone is suffering from Head up ass syndrome in the room.

[ERDoc]

Eh, I wouldn't put too much on the words of someone who has been in the field for less than a year and is an EMT in an ALS system, where the sick people are cared for by the ALS crews thankfully.

Danny, you seem to be mixing things up. A good provider is one who can put their feelings aside during the call and does what they need to do. I will agree, someone who can't control themselves at the scene should probably consider a career change. Those who can put their feelings aside and deal with them after the call, in whatever way they need to are called human, those that have no feelings have no right to be in this field. When you grow up and the ink on your card is dry hopefully you will come to respect your pts and the position they are in. You may not think you need to have empathy and compassion in emergency medicine but the opposite is true. You are seeing people and their families at possibly the worst time of their lives or the end of their life. It is the time they need it the most and with your attitude you do nothing but take away what they need, you fail to treat your pt and their family properly. Don't want to believe me, the listen to a few stories from the people we are supposed to be caring for. I will get you started, though with your hero complex I suspect it is falling on deaf ears.

http://www.goerie.com/article/20120504/LIFESTYLES07/305049943/Emergency-room-compassion-and-dignity

Edited August 10, 2013 by ERDoc

[MariB]

There seems to be some miscommunication.

I am merely saying, that LESS EMOTIONAL is better for "EMERGENCY WORK".

Emergency work demands a person be CALM and CONFIDENT in situations that would make MOST NORMAL PEOPLE break down in tears and cry uncontrollably.

Lol. I just laugh

[Just Plain Ruff]

His reply to Mari, just is beyond comprehension.