Help! Some of you know me from the time I've been on here. Those of you who do know that I've had some issues in my life. To keep this part short, I've got an ex with SERIOUS mental health issues to the point of having PNES, mentally and emotionally abusive to me and my kids. I kicked the ass out after a search that made me worry about my daughter.
What most don't know. This year my mom, who was an alcholic was killed when she caused an MVC by driving the wrong way on the area interstate. My ex pushed during that time. Stress combined with lack of insurance had me down with H. pylori for 3 weeks. My 2 early teen decided they thought they wanted to move in with dad. (Think this had to do with him pressuring them. Actually know it's what it was for the older of the 2.) Now, the older (my daughter) wants to come home and has FINALLY admitted to me that dad's touching her in ways that are not right.
Now, work.... 2 years ago, I ended up having surgery on my knee after being thrown into the back doors of the ambo because the EMS director/ALS provider threw a pulse ox and told me to get it and the driver gave a major diesel bolus. The driver and I have talked about it. The director/ALS says that his behavior had no impact on my being injured. He's being nasty and short toward me since I returned.
I'm at the point that I don't know what to do. I want to confront the director, but I know he can be a stubborn ass about things like this. I am having a horrible time since my mom died because my mind keeps playing over and over "what if I'd gotten killed when I got thrown" and "my kids would have to live with someone who's really not mentally healthy to raise them". I'm in counseling to work through the issues that have come up, but it's really hard to get this counselor to understand the mentality in this volly department (there is no "paid" service within reasonable driving distance of the small town that I live in). I've actually had the counselor tell me that between what I went and am going through with my ex, the loss of my mom and my injury, she believes that I'm battling PTSD.
Thoughts on how to get this individual to talk about this incident and take responsibility so that he will look at his behavior and lack of leadership qualities? Anyone else ever been through anything close to this?
I know someone's going to crack about getting rid of the ex. Please don't. Things are actually that bad there. I don't want anything, even jokingly, that someone might find to say that I encouraged something (even his suicide, which he's threatened repeatedly).
