island emt

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About island emt

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    Retired Service chief :-}

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    bailey island

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  1. Mature Lady Driver Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Traffic Cop: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don't have one. Traffic Cop: Don't have one? Older Woman: No. I lost it 4 years ago for drunk driving. Traffic Cop: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Older Woman: I can't do that. Traffic Cop: Why not? Older Woman: I stole this car. Traffic Cop: Stole it? Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Traffic Cop : You what!? Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The traffic cop looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car while calling for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Older woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer 2: My colleague here tells me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Are you serious?! Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am? Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The traffic cop is quite stunned. Officer 2: My colleague claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license quizzically. Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, but I am puzzled, as I was told by my officer here that you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner! Older Woman: Bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too. Don't Mess With Mature Ladies
  2. don't mess with old guys An older man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange, and lime trees. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him,'we're not coming out until you leave!' The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked..' Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator.' Some old guys can still think fast.
  3. Welcome to the City: I grew up in EMS working the wild streets of Hartford back in the 1970's. Back then it was a dangerous place to work and I understand it has only gotten worse since. A slow Friday night would mean only a few shootings or stabbings . The heroin wars in north Hartford were at full tilt back then. With your degree law enforcement would seem to have been your goal in the future. How many places have you applied to? As far as firefighting and Paramedicine in CT: For every opening on a career department , there are hundreds if not thousands of applicants in the pool of candidates. A paramedicine degree will help immensely as departments will want to send new hires to their own fire academy after hire, even with prior experience, but don't like to send an employee to get a medic degree. Cost too much. Research pay & benefits of the various major departments and don't be afraid to look at smaller towns that run career Depts. I worked with several of the Privates back then, & into the mid 1980's. some are good , others not so much to work for. Whichever program you look into , make sure it is CAAS certified. Hospital based schools are usually better in getting good clinicals in house. Avoid the quickie medic mills from the TV colleges that promise you can get a degree in only 9 months.
  4. thats pretty funny Ruff +1 Mike: any time I need a good laugh a trip to whale mart is in order. I don't often buy anything, just walk through and gawk at the foolishness that goes on there. if you need a gut buster just google women of whalemart on youtube.
  5. A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a ...case of Miller Lite and puts it in their cart. 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife. 'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans', he replies. 'Put them back, it's a waste of money', demands the wife, and so he does and they carry on shopping. A few aisles further on along, the woman picks up a $20 jar of ...face cream and puts it in the basket. What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband... "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife. Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Miller Lite and it's half the price....' HUSBAND DOWN, AISLE 7 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  6. welcome back
  7. welcome to the City We won't hold it against you that you're from New Yawk Right Doc ????
  8. Agreed: the education system that let her graduate without being exposed sucked. Problem is there are many schools out there doing this and leaving newbies in the lurch . there are only a set number of good places to do clinicals in a given area. Not every student is going to get the busy service with that one preceptor who wants the student to succeed. They get out on the street and encounter a serious culture shock which effects their ability to go forward in this career. Thats why I recommend prior field experience before going forward to a Degree in Paramedicine. To see if you really want to do the job ,before spending 2 years and 10+ grand to get the glitter patch
  9. An elderly Italian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite ravioli wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen, where if not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were hundreds of his favorite ravioli. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? He threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the ravioli was already in his mouth. With a trembling hand he reached up to the edge of the table, when suddenly he was smacked with a wooden spoon by his wife. 'Hands off!' she said. 'Those are for the funeral.'
  10. you were very fortunate to have had that experience Ruff. Many of the newbs we hired had a "minimal necessary" preceptorship during their clinicals. Some of them had only ridden third on transport trucks doing the renal shuffle & nursing home two step. I didn't blame them for their lack of exposure to the real world of 911 service. but due to large class sizes the college could only get so many slots with busy services. I remember one young lady who was an incredible wealth of knowledge, could name all drugs by type , class and normal usage, could pick right up on a R on T from across the bus, could look at a set of labs and determine all the issues the pt had going on. She worked with me for a week of normal calls and did excellent. Cardiacs , diabetic emergencies, strokes, abdominal pain all perfect care & diagnosis. We rolled on a car Vs motorcycle call one evening and I sent her to check on the car occupants while i went to the motorcyclist. After she cleared the two folks from the car, she came over to see what I needed from the truck. The rider had above knee bilateral amputations to his legs and as she saw me putting tourniquets on the above knee stumps, she turned green. Then I tasked her to go & see if she could locate the severed limbs. She found them and passed out , hitting her head on the pavement and suffering a pretty significant head injury. When the sheriff showed up , I had him go check on her as I had my hands full with my Pt until a second truck could get to us to take care of her. We talked later at the hospital and She said I'm done, they never told me we'd have to deal with that kind of call. We talked for several hours as she was being held for observation and I got the back story of her Paramedic training. Yep:: she did her clinicals at a transport service where the most severe trauma she'd been exposed to was a LOL in a nursing home with a hip FX. the boss showed up & we talked with the newb for hours trying to convince her she could do this job. NOPE she was discharged , came back to the base and turned in her gear . Never to work in EMS again. It was our loss as she had so much promise.
  11. my attitude changed back in the late 80's when the degree programs in the community colleges started becoming very popular as compared to the 6 month medic mills. Had many newb's sent to me for FTO time and some of them were book brilliant , but 'couldn't do simple EMT tasks and skills. Then there were the brilliant clinical technicians who the first time they encountered a traumatic death , crispy pt or GI bleed ,went off the rails and walked away. $10 grand & 2 years down the tubes.
  12. I started Sept 1970 with my first working day on an old pontiac high top wagon that was owned by a funeral home and retired 1 January 2014....... Yes I know that I'm old. Really Kate: 27,,, I've got shoes older than that Back to the OP: I'm one who believes in getting some time under your belt working on the street before spending 10k plus for a degree in Paramedicine. WHY you ask??? Seen way too many kids spend the money , take the courses and when they get to the job , they find out it's not what they expected and not what they want to do for a career. Once they get past the L&S and the adrenaline rush stage , they end up hating the decision the be a Medic.
  13. Old and cranky and you ain't fixin' me!! I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off! Old age is coming at a really bad time! When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment .... now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation! The biggest lie I tell myself is ... "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it." Lord, grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can & the friends to post my bail when I finally snap! I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights." I'm very wise. My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work. Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees. The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes". I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do that second week. When did it change from "We the people" to "screw the people"? I've lost my mind and I'm pretty sure my kids took it! Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound! Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway? Lord, Give me patience and give it to me NOW. Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice. Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud? At my age "getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
  14. Dear Tide I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband. What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product. Well, gotta go, I have to write to the Hefty trash bag people.
  15. He also has the luxury of milk of amnesia or the michael jackson cocktail to give them rapid amnesia & sedation. All we had access to in our drug box was was MS/fentanyl & midazolam.