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Sorry to hear it's been such a rough road recently. We see people all the time who choose to ignore or deny their health condition. We see people all the time who refuse to take responsibility for themselves, their own health, their own well-being. Many times they get to leave the ER only to come back again for yet another exacerbation. The uncontrolled diabetics. The COPD-ers with a pack of cigs hanging out of their pocket or purse. The renal players who "missed" dialysis. Again. Hypertension players who don't take their meds. It catches up to them eventually. You numb yourself to it because if you fought with all of those patients you'd go insane with trying to keep up on people who don't care enough to care for themselves. We're all gonna die some day. If sick patients choose to ignore or deny the means to delay their own death, or at least ensure some semblance of quality of life leading up to their death, that's on them. I'll continue to act in good faith because that's the moral and ethical thing to do. But I'll recognize that if they aren't willing to step up and do their part there's only so much I can do without their help. We all got into medicine, EMS, nursing or whatever because, on some level, we believe that life is worth fighting for. We have a desire to improve the health status of those with whom we come into contact. Pretty much all of us here will fight tooth and nail to save the life of someone who needs our help. We will do so without prejudice, judgement or reservation. At times, especially prehospitally, we'll find ourselves in dangerous situations (despite our best efforts) to do so. However, there are limits as to what can be done. I feel worse for those who've done nothing to deserve their situation. Those folks will eat at me for days. I'll do what I can to distract myself. I'll run. Read. Blast music. Run some more. Distraction can help. You just have to find what works for you. For the chronic players, though, those who've had multiple chances to turn themselves around, to do something to improve their own situation, I don't feel as bad. I've learned to let it go. If this is really eating at you perhaps some professional help with a therapist/counselor who specializes in dealing with heath care providers is in order.
Does it have to be an EMS related degree? I just googled "paramedic to bachelors online" and got a variety of programs that may be worth exploring. I did not search for associates level programs but did see some options in my brief look around.
What are your goals for going back to school? What end point, if any, are you trying to achieve? What research have you done of programs that could potentially cater to your needs? That's great you saw an ad for a program on an industry specific website is great and all but what other options exist? One of the complications of making the decision to go back to school, aside from actually making the decision to go back to school, is deciding what you want to study. And where. And when. And how. It's a lot to consider. There are many factors to weigh. And just because you found a place that may (or may not) cater to your needs/wants/desires doesn't automatically mean it's the right school for you. Don't let the process get you down or discourage you. As I mentioned academia is a different beast all unto itself. It's not a bad beast. It's just different from what you're used to. If you're not getting satisfaction from the institutions you've approached so far then keep looking. There are many programs, universities and options out there. Just find a reputable, accredited college or university (not one of the for-profit-take-your-student-loan-money-thankyouverymuch places) and go with it.
In that case don't expect the process to make sense. Formal academia is different from anything you've likely dealt with previously. Don't try to understand it. Just recognize that if this is really what you want there is a game to be played. Getting accepted is part of the game.