So here I sit spinning around in my own little world, waiting for some cheese and bread for my wine. No my whine. It will be my last post because obviously there is nothing in the last 3 that has made anyone offer any words. No slap upside the head, no you deserve what you've been dealt, etc etc. I posted in hopes of finding out if anyone could put their virtual arm around me and tell me it would be ok, that it would get better. Study more, try harder, give it up. Your employer sounds like a moron would have been awesome. I did some research and I found evidence that other EMS agencies use systems to manage their employees, track problems, provide solutions to head off problems, remediate and retain as needed. So I'm encouraged that another place may hold out some hope.
I do leave you all with this, and I know at least 300 people have read the blog: We're charged with taking care of people on what is often their worst day ever. I know there's plenty of abuse, plenty of free loaders, plently of people with no coping skills. I never minded that so much which is why I thought I had something to offer to the field. No matter how dumb assed, how stupid or how abusive, I gave every patient compassion and kindness, even when they didn't deserve it. I treated them to the best of my ability without abuse, which is more than the ER I had to take most of my patients to ever did. No matter what dumb mistake a co worker ever offered up and I've seen some doozies, I treated them with kindness and respect and tried to be helpful about offering alternatives that might have been more appropriate without trashing them either to their face or behind their backs, which almost seems to be a sport in EMS anymore. See how hard you can go at someone until they break and then celebrate it?
In a field where we take care of people, we suck at taking care of each other.